Stroller Jokes

A cardinal mistake.

As she passes by the church, a priest spots her and asks sternly: “What do we have here? A little monastery secret?”

“No, Father”, answers the nun, “it’s a cardinal error.”

Optimus Pram.

...when she sees a friend of hers smoking a cigarette. She walks up to him and asks how he is, and says "I thought you gave up smoking for good?" The man says "I did, now I smoke for evil." and blows smoke in the baby's face and walks away.

But all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

The father bought his son a stout, but he didn't like it and didn't want to drink it.

The father decided to drink it for him and ordered an ale instead.

He didn't like it either. So, the father drank it and ordered him a cider.

Lager, cider, cream ale... he didn't like any of ... read more

...and tells the cashier: "Good morning. I've come to pay the final installment on the loan used to buy a baby stroller"

Cashier: "That's wonderful. And how is the baby doing?"

Customer: "I'm doing alright, thank you."

So, this french guy - he wants to learn English. So boards a plane to the US and he hears the Pilot say "take off". The first stop he makes in the US is the San Diego Zoo, where he learns "zebra". While he's looking at the Zebras, a couple walks up with a stroller and he learns the word "baby". So t... read more

After running some tests due to some non specific symptoms, the doctor tell them, “well looks like you are going to be a grandma, your daughter is pregnant ma’am”

The mother is infuriated, insults the doctor telling him that her daughter “knows no man” and leaves the office fuming.

The... read more

A miscarriage.

An elderly woman walking towards them stops, looks into the stroller and says, "What a beautiful baby! What sign was he conceived under?"


The blonde blushes slightly and replies, "It said 'Keep off the grass'."

...I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic.

-- Stephen Wright

When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.

Every convention I see them in different outfits. One year it was Doctor McCoy and Nurse Chapel. The next they went as Luke and Leia. Then they went as the 4th Doctor and Sarah Jane Smith.

Well, the lady had a baby after that. The next time I saw them, He was dressed up as Number 6 Patr... read more

A lizard mom is pushing her newborn down the sidewalk in a stroller when a neighbor approaches.

"How cute! What's your baby's name?"

"Tiny," says the lizard mom. "Because he's my newt."

...I said to a woman with a stroller one day.
"How old is he?" I asked.

"Well, my friend, little Johnny here is 18 months old!" she replied, motioning to her baby. "Also, I'm sorry to bother you, but what time is it?"

"Sure. It's eighty-three thousand, four hundred thirty-two seco... read more

I am a male and I wore a see through shirt and pants. I completed my ensemble with a stuffed bra, long haired wig and lipstick. I pushed a baby doll around all night in a stroller holding the baby bottle....

I was a transparent transparent.

He immediately flips on his lights and gives chase. She careens at a corner and knocks over a mailbox, then jumps the sidewalk sending pedestrians scrambling for safety. She gets back onto the road and approaches a red light with traffic stopped, but swerves into the opposite lane crossing the doubl... read more

I bumped into my ex girlfriend pushing a baby down the street today

She nodded at the baby stroller and said, " Its yours."

I said, " Oh my God... Really??"

And she snapped back, ' Yea.. really'

"Hell yea! I can't believe it" I said as I picked up the baby, then place it ... read more

One day, an old man is out for a walk. His walk happens to take him through the local farmer's market, where a chef had set up a booth to make the freshest seafood he could.

As the old man walked by, the chef pulled a still living fish out of a tank of water and set it on his cutting boar... read more