UPJOKE
clothtowelserviettediapernappytableclothhandkerchieftabletable linennaperybriefcasebagclipboardlinenchalkboard

Napkins Jokes

I went into the bathroom, but there was no toilet paper. Fortunately, I saw a stack of napkins and thought to myself...

I'll have to make doo with these.

Do you know what you get when you tie two Communist table napkins together?

A Serviette Union

Why don’t napkins date?

They have trust tissues

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If tampons are sanitary napkins...

How unsanitary must regular napkins be?

Which former European state exported mainly napkins?

The Serviette Union

A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost

He saw a lady up ahead of him and went to her and said, "Can you please help me, I don't know what Hole I'm on."

She told him "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 7; you're on 6."

He thanked her and continued playing golf.

Later, he got lost again.

He saw the same lady and...

With all the missing paper towels and napkins everywhere...

You could say that right now, I'm a Bounty hunter

You know that stack of fast-food napkins in your glove box?

Now it's their time to shine!

Customer:

What do you have with no fat and no sugar?

Waitress: Napkins..

I saw some people building a new bridge near me. Every lunch break they would sit down for afternoon tea complete with tablecloth and napkins.

It was very civil engineering.

Sometimes i just sit & run my fingers thru my wife’s hair.

It's a nice way to tell her i love her.

And also that we're outta napkins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Irish Viagra

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido.

'What about trying Viagra?' asks the doctor.

'Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin".

'Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's w...

A famous pub in Dublin...

There's a famous pub in Dublin, at the top of Camden Street, called the Bleeding Horse. One day, a Clydesdale horse trotted in and ordered a pint of Guinness and a packet of cheese and onion crisps. The barman was a little taken aback, but Dublin barmen are nothing if not professional, so he served ...

Fast Food Fury

My fast-food order arrived but it was incomplete. I was missing my fries. They had no more ketchup. They ran out of napkins. And the cashier said, “I can’t give you a lid for your drink or you won’t be able to drink it,” and she pointed at the previous customer holding a drink. That is when I threw ...

A burglar broke into my house and stole the most important things in my life.

Whoever you are please bring back my hand lotion and the box of napkins.

An oldie, hopefully you haven't heard it before

A sickly vampire was talking to his three sons

"To decide who's going to have my inheritance", he said to them, "I have a challenge. Whoever brings me the most blood by the end of the day, gets my money".

The three sons set off, each excited to be the heir.

After about half an h...

What do you call your family after they fall sleep?

Napkins

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a woman were sitting next to each other on a flight

A man and a woman were sitting next to each other on a flight from New York to Los Angeles.


As they were taking off, the man let out a sneeze, then took a napkin out from his pocket and reached into his pants and patted down his crotch region. The woman, being polite, pretended not to not...

Two cannibals are eating a lawyer. One turns to the other and says...

Pass me the napkins. This one is really greasy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his pet monkey walk into a bar...

...They sit down at the bar and the man orders a beer. The monkey promptly starts running around the bar, eating everything in sight. He eats some napkins, peanuts off of the bar, all the marichino cherries, everything he can pick up. Then the monkey hops over to the pool table, jumps on top of it, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The woman in the store

A woman walks into a store. Billy the clerk and the manager are talking away, and the woman asks the clerk where some stuff is.

Woman: "Excuse me sir, do you know where the Kleenex, toilet paper, ear cleaners, napkins, and tampons are?

The manager replies with, "Dear Lord Billy, help h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar on top of a high rise

And sees another patron in a deep conversation with the bartender. As the man walks up and orders a beer, he can't help but hear the patron extolling the wonders of urban air currents to the visibly bored bartender.

"Yeah Murray, it's incredible. The speeds these updrafts can reach would blow...

This is a joke someone told me called the penguin story

A penguin is driving down the road when he hears a weird sound coming from his car so he starts looking around for a mechanic shop. Eventually he finds one and pulls his car in to the parking lot. He goes to the lobby where the mechanic is. The mechanic looks at the penguin and says “Mr. penguin wha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are speeding when they get pulled over......

The driver tells his passenger, "I'll take care of this." As soon as the cop approaches, the man leans out and tells the cop, Just to let you know, I have a loaded gun in the glove box."

The cop orders them out of the car, face down on the sidewalk, cuffs them and backs over to his radio to c...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.