With all the missing paper towels and napkins everywhere...

You could say that right now, I'm a Bounty hunter

You know that stack of fast-food napkins in your glove box?

Now it's their time to shine!

Why don’t napkins date?

They have trust tissues

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If tampons are sanitary napkins...

How unsanitary must regular napkins be?

Which former European state exported mainly napkins?

The Serviette Union

I saw some people building a new bridge near me. Every lunch break they would sit down for afternoon tea complete with tablecloth and napkins.

It was very civil engineering.

I love running my fingers through my wife’s hair.

It’s a nice way to remind her that I love her, and also that we’re out of napkins.

A burglar broke into my house and stole the most important things in my life.

Whoever you are please bring back my hand lotion and the box of napkins.

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Just got a big Mac

Just picked up a Big Mac Meal at the drive-thru. I'm not hungry, I just need the napkins for wiping my arse.

What do you have without fat and sugar?

Napkins

This is a joke someone told me called the penguin story

A penguin is driving down the road when he hears a weird sound coming from his car so he starts looking around for a mechanic shop. Eventually he finds one and pulls his car in to the parking lot. He goes to the lobby where the mechanic is. The mechanic looks at the penguin and says “Mr. penguin wha...

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Irish Viagra

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido.

'What about trying Viagra?' asks the doctor.

'Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin".

'Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's w...

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Two men are speeding when they get pulled over......

The driver tells his passenger, "I'll take care of this." As soon as the cop approaches, the man leans out and tells the cop, Just to let you know, I have a loaded gun in the glove box."

The cop orders them out of the car, face down on the sidewalk, cuffs them and backs over to his radio to c...

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A man and his pet monkey walk into a bar...

...They sit down at the bar and the man orders a beer. The monkey promptly starts running around the bar, eating everything in sight. He eats some napkins, peanuts off of the bar, all the marichino cherries, everything he can pick up. Then the monkey hops over to the pool table, jumps on top of it, ...

A guy was playing golf.

A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up ahead of him and went to her and said, "Can you please help me, I don't know what Hole I'm on."
She told him "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 7; you're on 6."
He thanked her and continued playing golf.
Later, he got lost ag...

A man runs into a crowded bar and yells “Run! Bad Bob is coming!”

Everyone in the bar dropped their drink, screamed and ran for the doors. Soon there was nothing in the bar but fluttering napkins and a speechless bartender.

Boom! The bartender looked up. BOOM! Right outside the door. CRASH! The door splintered. In walked a man, dressed all in black. Guns ...

What do you call your family after they fall sleep?

Napkins

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A man and a woman were sitting next to each other on a flight

A man and a woman were sitting next to each other on a flight from New York to Los Angeles.


As they were taking off, the man let out a sneeze, then took a napkin out from his pocket and reached into his pants and patted down his crotch region. The woman, being polite, pretended not to not...

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A man walks into a bar on top of a high rise

And sees another patron in a deep conversation with the bartender. As the man walks up and orders a beer, he can't help but hear the patron extolling the wonders of urban air currents to the visibly bored bartender.

"Yeah Murray, it's incredible. The speeds these updrafts can reach would blow...

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The woman in the store

A woman walks into a store. Billy the clerk and the manager are talking away, and the woman asks the clerk where some stuff is.

Woman: "Excuse me sir, do you know where the Kleenex, toilet paper, ear cleaners, napkins, and tampons are?

The manager replies with, "Dear Lord Billy, help h...

Two cannibals are eating a lawyer. One turns to the other and says...

Pass me the napkins. This one is really greasy.

A boy in kindergarten has to use the restroom, but the men's room is locked...

So his mother tells her son that it's alright to use the women's room this once, because they are single rooms that lock from the inside. The boy comes out a minute later and asks his mother for a quarter. The mother asks what he needs a quarter for, to which he replies:

"Apparently, mom, nap...

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