Do infants enjoy infantry...

as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How did ancient Greeks keep tabs on their infants while they slept at night?

They used a baby minotaur.

Phones are like infants;

The more you drop them the slower they get.

Credit: u/IdStillSmash

[Father’s day] It’s great to wake up to the laughter of infants...

...Except if it’s the dead of night and you don’t have children

adults make better fighters than infants

yet more battles are won by infantry than adultery

I like my Holy Infants the way I like my chicken wings..,

Tender and mild.

There's a new search engine being developed for infants

Google Ga Ga

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[long] A pregnant woman was standing in line at a bank.

All of a sudden a masked man bursts through the front door waving a gun wildly around. He shouts that he is robbing the bank and that everyone in it is now his hostages. The police soon arrive and in the ensuing stand off shots were exchanged from both sides, the woman was struck three times in her ...

I wrote the most disgusting joke ever.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Why don't mother vampires nurse their infants?

Because they only bleed once a month.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman's extended family

Many of you know Kal-El (superman) and his father Zor-El, even his cousin supergirl.

Did you know he has several other loosely related relatives that also traveled to earth as infants and were raised here? Here are a few.

1) he has a cousin that was raised in Mexico, hardworking guy. H...

This is a long joke but the build up is worth it

Somewhere far away from here, there was a horse, a cow and a chicken. The horse had always wanted to start a band, so he learnt to play the guitar, while he was learning, he started looking for others who would be interested in joining his band, and found a chicken who was really good at singing and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman pregnant with twins is in a bank when two masked men enter with shotguns, a shot goes off and the woman is hit in the stomach by two stray pellets in the crossfire.

The woman goes to the doctors and they tell her that the pellets hit the unborn infants but that they would be ok, they'll just naturally pass the pellets as they get older. Years pass and the now mother is approached by her daughter "Mom, Mom I was on the toilet and a pellet came out!" The mother t...

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A woman 9 months pregnant with triplets is standing in a bank.

She is waiting in line when a masked gunman storms in and fires blindly hitting the woman three times in the stomach. She survives the bank robbery but goes into labor. She has two girls and a boy. Miraculously she survives and so do the triplets. Causing no issues the doctors decided that surgery o...

Nosmo King.

Many ministers could, from personal experience, tell of strange names bestowed upon infants at their baptism, but few could equal the following story recently told by the Bishop of Sodor and Man. A mother who was on the lookout for a good name for her child saw on the door of a building the word "No...

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident...

...and falls into a coma. Upon waking, she finds herself in the hospital and is informed by the doctor that she gave birth to twins (1 boy, 1 girl) while in the coma. Her brother was contacted and asked to name the two infants.

"Oh no," the woman groans. "Why him? He's an idiot!"


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day Dave and his twin brother

enlisting in the Army & were getting their physicals.
During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both
of them possessed incredibly long, over sized penises. "How do you
account for this?" he asked them.
"It's hereditary, sir," Dave replied.
"I see,"...

Two Dogs (From the movie Silkwood)

A young brave visits the chief of the tribe with a question. "Wise one, is it true you name all the members of the tribe, and if so, how is it done?"

The venerable old man replies "Yes, for over 20 years I have named each person who is born to the tribe. I sit outside the lodge, and when I he...

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