What's the the difference between a man on a bicycle wearing a tuxedo and a man on a unicycle wearing sweatpants and a hoodie?

Attire.

An elderly gentleman pulls up his sweatpants, shuffles into the bar, sidles up to a sweet young thing maybe one fourth his age, and with his most winning smile, asks

"Do I come here often?"
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(New to me joke and I searched before I posted.)

Why did the guy wear sweatpants to his prom?

Strictly Ballroom.

Today I wore regular pants for the first time in two weeks...

but only because I'm washing my sweatpants

Stopped buying jeans

I could never find jeans that fit, every pair long enough would be too wide up top. So I switched to sweatpants, smaller waste of material.

3 Men Die and go to Heaven... (Joke dedicated to phoncible)

St. Peter at the gate says that there is only one spot left, and he'll give it to the guy that died in the worst way between the three of them.

So the first guy says, "I came home from work, suspecting my wife of cheating on me. I find no man around, but my wife is disrobed and laying in the ...

Every time a test comes up, my friends and I joke about how we should become trophy wives.

But it seems like a lot of work to be a trophy wife; always dressing up, keeping in shape, keeping everything plucked. If I married a rich guy, I would probably wear sweatpants, watch Netflix everyday, and get fat on pizza and cookie dough. So instead of being a trophy wife, I'd be an atrophy wife...

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