My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it.

Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.

Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...

People will eventually get over it.

My sister made 44 cupcakes with an assortment of red, white, and blue frosting for an Independence Day dinner.

"Why 44?" I asked her. "Because that's the number of real presidents this country has actually had?"

(This actually just happened.)

I was walking home late one night when I saw dozens of giant cupcakes and pies everywhere. It was kind of scary.

The streets were oddly desserted.

What did the pig say when somebody told him he was making cupcakes all wrong?

Listen, I’ve been bacon my whole life.

What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?

Desserted

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to make Emo Cupcakes

What You'll need:

Cupcake Tray

An oven

Milk

Butter

Eggs

Flour

Sugar

We're

Going

Down

Swingin'

No stealing!!

So I saw a sweet little girl in the park selling cupcakes so I purchased one and as I savoured it's flavor I asked her," don't you ever get tempted to take one of them?" She looked at me in shock,"no! That would be stealing. I only lick them and put them right back."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A CEO, a white worker, and a black worker are sitting at a table.

A waiter comes in with a plate with a dozen cupcakes. Before the plate hits the table, the CEO reaches over, takes 11 cupcakes from the plate, and stuffs then in his jacket. Then he leans over to the white worker and whispers in his ear
"That black man is looking looking at your cupcake".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Over the holidays, I'm participating in a pro-life bake sale

We'll be selling cups of uncooked batter and insisting they're actually cupcakes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's this duck...

...and one day he's walkin down the street when he gets a huge craving for some donuts. So he goes to the bakery and walks in and says to the baker "hey man can i get a dozen donuts, half glazed and half boston creme?" And the baker's like "No, you can't. We don't serve ducks here." And the duck's a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some tidbits for your pleasure

I'm wearing the boxers with the little hearts all over them tonight....
It's probably not a good night to go to jail.

Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.

Probably should not have driven home from the bar last night.. especially considering I walked...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl once asked her dad about her name

One night, Cupcake asks her dad how she got her name. So her dad tells her that cupcakes was something her mom loved to eat before she got pregnant. Her older brother then asks the dad about how he got his name.
Dad: Shut up, Dick!

Trump and Hillary walk into a pastry shop

Hillary whispers to trump "Look look.."

Grabs 3 cupcakes and sticks them in her pocket

Trump is shocked "What are you doing ? that's theft ! just watch and learn"

Trump calls the clerk "listen, if you give me a cupcake, ill show you an amazing magic trick", Intrigued, the clerk ...

I told my chef wife that if she were to leave me...

please leave me one of your incredible cupcakes.

She replied..."I won't dessert you."

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