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A stockbroker walks past a kid selling lemonade

“Hey mister, ya want some lemonade?”

The stockbroker is just getting out of his brand new BMW in a nice tailored suit. He was about to walk past when he a double take at the sign that says “Lemonade $50”.


“Your sign is wrong kid. I think you mean fifty cents.”

The little gi...

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Why'd you put ex-lax in the pot brownies?

Ah... Just for shits and giggles.

Just burned 2,000 calories.......

That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

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Ate some Fiber One brownies

That shit was amazing.

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What do brownies and vaginas have in common?

Nothing worse than a dry one

The cops confiscated all my brownies at a bake sale.

Jokes on them, the weed was in the apple pie.

The brownies I started making in my easy bake oven in 1987

are done if anyone wants some.

I ate a couple brownies the other day

Now I'm not allowed back at the girlscout meetings anymore

Why did the computer programmer put his brownies back in the oven?

They were too GUI.

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People ask me all the time why I like putting laxatives in my pot brownies...

... I don't really know. I guess I'm just in it for the shits and gigs.

How many of those brownies did you eat, private?

"All of them sir!"

"That was my stash private."

"Negative sir it was labeled private!"

What's blue and gold and comes in brownies?

Cub Scouts.

What do a plate of homemade brownies and a golden shower have in common?

Urine for a treat.

What do steaks and pot brownies have in common?

If you eat either of them in India you'll get stoned.

What did one hash brownie say to the other?

We're so baked.

What did the stoner say to his friend?

I'm so high,I can hear the brownies talking to each other.

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An electrical engineer is wrongly accused of a crime.

His name is Myto and he swears he did not kill anybody. However, all the evidence points to him. Of course, he gets 25 years in prison.

When he gets to prison, he meets his bunkmate, Big Joel. Now, contrary to what you may think, Big Joel was not a rapist. In fact, he was the nicest man Myto...

My friend's parents run a marijuana bakery.

They make cookies, brownies, scones, the works. But my friend is odd. He will only eat edibles made by his mother, and he never touches edibles made by his father.



I think he has an edible complex.

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It's a good thing Hitler didn't kill more black people.

Because I'd feel awful every time I said I wanted to bake brownies.

There was a boy who grew up in San Francisco and he absolutely loved watching the street cars going up and down the streets.

His goal, when he grew up was to eventually drive those things. Before he even graduated high school, he applied to the street car driving school. He got accepted and once he graduated high school he headed off to training. After months of classes and tests, he was off to his first day of work as an...

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The Little Debbie company is trying to make a new snack

In a meeting room, several people are trying to make the new snack everyone will love

a guy who really likes chocolate: what if we made brownies with even more chocolate on them?

everyone couldn't seem to get behind the idea, so they kept trying to find a new idea

a dude who thi...

So everyone's at the Last Supper...

... and Jesus is speaking to his disciples.

He says "Take this bread, for it is my body. Take this wine, for it is my blood."

Then Peter turns to Paul and whispers "Don't eat the brownies!"

What does a white supremacist eat at birthdays?

KKKake. No brownies allowed though.

[NSFW] Why did Roy Moore never miss a local Girl Scouts' meeting?

Because Brownies are delicious.

Most people like their eggs fried or scrambled, I like mine baked...

in cookies, brownies and cake.

Heading to market

Little Johnny's mom sends him out to the store for some nuts so she can make brownies. On the way to the store, little johnny witnesses a horrendous car accident in which a car explodes with a man still inside. Stunned by what he jus saw he runs all the way home to tell his mom. He runs in and says...

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