In 1845 Dublin a ridiculously large number of beer kegs broke and flooded the streets in total about 10 people died by trying to drink it

Talk about drowning your sorrows

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The Anticlimactic Lager (oj)

(*I just made up this joke, it takes a bit of patience but let me know if it's worth it. Either way, keep smiling!*)

Michael was a rich, eccentric and naive beer enthusiast. He journeyed around the world in search of rare lagers.

Once, on a trip to India, he came across a small bar. Be...

The guy is carrying a keg of beer

It's Friday evening, great weather, long weekend ahead. Everything is just perfect.

Suddenly he sees some rusty antique lamp in a pile of garbage. Curious, he picks it up.
Surely enough genie appears.

- what's your wish?

- what, just one?

- yep, this is a used lamp, o...

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All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple.



Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride's father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry.

"The weddin's off," he shouted, "Everybody bugger off!"

Dismayed and muttering, the guests repaired to the parkin...

My Jewish neighbor has been moving huge bags of yeast and empty kegs with weird symbols into his garage.

Turns out Hebrews

A tub, pail, can, basket, canister, vat, kettle, cask, pot, keg, barrel, and bowl.

I needed to make a bucket list before I die.

What do you call a duck that is drinking straight out of a keg?

A party fowl.

Hey, is that a keg in your pants?

because my alcoholism is tearing me apart.

the American and the Finn

An american is talking to his firend. He tells his friend that he found out he has Finnic roots, and that he went on holiday to visit his far relative.

the friend: So, was your holiday fun?

The american: Yes, but i was scammed out of a thousand dollars!

the friend: How come? You...

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Spiderman, Iron-man and Superman decided to check who has the strongest erection

Spiderman, Iron-man and Superman decided to check who has the strongest erection

 

Iron-man thinks about Pepper Potts hangs 5-gallon bucket on his shlong and walks 5 yards. Everybody praises him.

 


Spiderman thinks about Gwen Stacy hangs 20-gallon ke...

[LONG] A guy was shipwrecked and ended up on an island..........

A guy was shipwrecked and ended up on an island. After wandering
around for a few hours he was captured by the local tribe of cannibals and
taken back to the village. After a good meal and a rest he was taken before
the king and told that, as it was the king’s birthday, he would get a ch...

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Three guys die and go to hell...

When they get there they meet the devil, who tells them there's a way to get to heaven. The Devil explains that behind 3 doors are tasks that they must each complete, in whatever order they want, to go to heaven.

Door 1 is a room with 10 virgin ladies, the task is to make them all orgasm in ...

A Manchester United fan, Liverpool fan and an Everton fan were caught drinking in Saudi Arabia....

An Everton fan, a Liverpool fan and a Manchester United fan were all in Saudi Arabia drinking a smuggled crate of booze.

All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them.

For their punishment the Saudi Arabia Sheik decided that the punishment should be 20 lashes with a whip....

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Zoom Thanksgiving

Our potluck is going to hit everyone a little different this year. My dad will finally have the whole turkey to himself. Aunt Mary will be wasted all day since she agreed to get the keg. Grandma might go into a diabetic coma since she only makes desserts. And I hope Uncle Larry starves to death sinc...

A man was studying to be a filmmaker...

Since he was big live music fan, he started hitting up his favorite local bands and offering to do behind-the-scenes documentary sessions as promotional materials. He got a few bites and after shooting a few small acts, his work really took off, developing a reputation for the way he seemed to disap...

Joe and John are best friends, one day they die in a car accident together.

Joe goes to heaven and John goes to hell. Joe finds heaven nice but he isn't happy knowing his best friend is in hell. So he asks St. Peter if he can go see John in hell. St Peter says, "I am afraid you can not leave, but I can put my hands over your eyes and give you a vision of John in hell."...

Jack and Will are driving home together...

...on the way home they get in a car crash and both die. Jack ends up at the pearly gates without Will. Jack walks up to St. Peter and says, "where is my good friend Will." St. Peter says, "Sorry, but will didn't make it to heaven. Jack asks if he can see Will one last time. St. Peter parts the...

There were two brothers....

One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt. The bad brother died.
He was still missed by his brother since he loved him despite his ways.

Finally, years ...

John and Bill were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident.

When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bill but could not find him anywhere.

Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, “St. Peter, I know Bill was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!” St. Peter said, “My son, I am sorry to tell you Bill didn’t make it to ...

A guy and his two friends are driving

The first guy is in the back, rolling his eyes. They had been partying.
One friend was bragging about the women he had been with.
Another was driving, and was bragging about his keg standing talent.
Our guy has tried to do good all his life, and has successfully avoided both pleasures.
<...

Before celebrating a baptism, the deacon approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you sure you’re prepared for it?”

"I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for our guests.”
“I don’t mean that,” the deacon replied. “I mean, are you prepared spiritually?”
“Oh sure,” came the reply. “I’ve got a keg of beer and a case of whi...

If you had purchased

$1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you...

Did you hear about the pirate who owned a bar?

He had a keg leg.

BREWER: We’re sorry to inform you Mrs. O’reilly that your husband drowned today at the Guinness factory

WIFE: Well at least give me the comfort in knowing it was a quick death

BREWER: well he drowned in only 15 minutes, short considering he got out of the keg twice to pee

One day, a man exploring a jungle stumbles upon an ancient village.

One day, a man exploring a jungle stumbles upon a legendary ancient village. The villagers, who to the man's surprise are still alive and well, lavish him with praise. They think he must be a god! But he must first be tested, just to be sure.

So the chief of the village takes him to a row of ...

Only in America

A European Count who had a fascination with the American West, arranged for a trip to a Texas town named Outlaw. Outlaw was small but didn't know it and the town fathers were determined to impress the Count with their worldliness. They arranged to have the local orchestra perform Beethoven's Ninth...

Drunk cowboy

A cowboy gets captured by a group of Indians. They take him back to their camp where the chief shows mercy on the cowboy and says he can live amongst the tribe if he's able to complete three tasks.
Ahead were three tepees. The chief says to the cowboy, "in the first tepee is a beer keg. You have...

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Twin Brothers

There once was a set of identical twin brothers. One

lived a godly life. He was a good husband and

father, reputable businessman, and did lots of

community service. The other one was a hell-raiser.

He drank, cheated on his wife, stole and lied. They

both died a...

The Bee

There once lived a bee named barry. Barry was a very smart bee, he went through all of school with straight A's. He majored in law, and eventually ran for president. He became the president of the bee hive.

Barry, unsatisfied with his accomplishments, goes on to go through human school, fir...

A man walks into a bar...

He goes up to the barkeep and orders a beer, the bartender walks out back to refill the kegs. while the man is drinking he hears a voice, 'that's a very nice tie you're wearing' the man looks around wildly and yells to the bartender 'oi! did you say anything?'
the bartender replies, 'no!' sitting...

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