UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The first time I went to buy condoms, there was a beautiful pharmacist behind the counter

She could tell that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I answered, "No, this is my first time." So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

I apparently still...

Why does China have the most accurate step-counters?

They track your every move

When people are working at supermarket checkout counters putting the groceries into sacks, why don't they eat any food?

Because baggers can't be chewers.

What does the Pope use to clean his counters?

A Papal towel.

"There's some kitchen counters over there," said the assistant.

I looked over and saw one of them talking to himself.

"1 kitchen, 2 kitchens, 3 kitchens..."

A cat walks into a bar...

A cat walks into a bar and sees an empty counter. He saunters up to the bartender and asks for a shot of whiskey.

The bartender looks at the cat and says, "Rough day, huh? Maybe you should try chasing a laser pointer. That always seems to cheer me up."

The cat glances at the bartender ...

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