It's always weird to come across an anti-vaxxer nowadays...

...they seem to be a dying breed

How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They're happy living in the dark

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge.

Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer. "How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly?" he asks. "99.97%," the engineer replies confidently. The anti-va...

I don't like anti-vaxxers

They make me sick!

What is the scientific name for anti-vaxxers during a pandemic?

The control group.

After dying the anti-vaxxer meets God. "God, please tell me who is behind the conspiracy to give people autism with vaccines?"

"Nobody," says God. "There is no conspiracy, and vaccines do no cause autism."

"THEY GOT TO YOU TOO?! HOW FAR UP DOES THIS GO?!"

How do you get an antivaxxer to shut up?

*Source?*

What did the anti-vax kid wanna grow up to be?

Alive

It’s so nice to meet so many anti-vaxers here

It feels like we’re a dying breed

What is an Anti-Vaxxer's favourite movie?

Mrs. Doubt-Pfizer

My Mexican friend takes anti-anxiety medication

Its for Hispanic attacks.

I won’t make friends with anti-vaxxer’s

I don’t want to get too attached

An anti-vaxxer got a call from the Doctor.

The doctor said "Your test results are in and I'm afraid it's not good news."

"Nonsense," replied the anti-vaxxer. "I don't trust your pharmaceutical industry. My entire life I relied on homeopathic remedies instead of medication, and the only diagnosis I accept is based on my horoscope."
...

An anti-vaxxer is sitting at a bar.

He is a couple beers deep when the bartender shouts “Free shots for the bar! On that man over there!” And he points to a man the anti-vaxxer can’t see.

The bartender then proceeds to walk down the bar pouring shots for each patron. When he gets to the anti-vaxxer, the man stops him from pouri...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend regularly takes anti-diarrhea pills and claims it increases his work productivity, due to reduced trips to the restroom daily.

I think he's full of shit.

Anti-vaxxer: "This corona hoax is getting old."

Me: "You aren't."

Guys, I'm not saying that Flat Earthers, Anti-Vaxxers, and Creationists are unintelligent people but...

there is a reason why shoes with Velcro straps come in adult size.

I was reading a book on anti gravity last night.

I found it quite difficult to put down.

My roommate cannot remember if he took his anti anxiety medication or not.

I said, “Are you worried about it?”

Did you hear about the anti masker who died?

They went scuba diving

Why do anti-vaccine marches avoid bridges?

Because the marchers are so dense the bridge may not hold.

My anti-vaxx girlfriend asked me about trying to make a child together

Apparently, “Let’s give it a shot, then” wasn’t the best answer.

My mum is an anti vaxxer...

Calls herself Mrs DoubtPfizer

You know what they say about anti-depressants?

The more the merrier :)

How do I infiltrate these anti-vaxx groups?

One of them might be crazy enough to date me

My mother is anti vaxx

Calls herself miss Doubt Pfizer

What was the anti-vaxxer’s 4 year old child crying?

Midlife crisis

A memer, an antivegan activist, a teenager, a GTA Online player, a LoL player, an anti-China activist, and a Redditor walk into a bar.

The bartender says upon their entry, “Happy Cake Day, Elson!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A jew visits a brothel

He talks to the guy at reception:

- Hello, I want to see Samantha.

- One moment sir.

A beautiful young woman comes downstairs.

-Have you asked for me?

- Yes, I want to spend the night with you.

- Alright but my service is a bit expensive. $1000 for a night....

Did anyone hear about the serial killer who is targeting Anti-Vaxxers?

Covid-19

Don't be an Anti-Vaxxer,

getting your Uncles vaccinated is just as important!

I am a proud anti-vaccine Father of 3.

Edit- Two Now

2nd Edit- One Now

3rd Edit- Nevermind

4th Edit- WOW this really blew up. I would like to dedicate all these wonderful awards to my 3 children Byeson, Dieanne, and Ammunity. They would have been so proud. RIP

To the guy who stole my antidepressants...

I hope you are happy now

I’m an Anti-vax and I don’t care what you think.

I’m sick and tired of seeing people who are anti-vax getting bullied on social media. We have good reasons to feel this way and simply bad mouthing us or attacking us is not going to change our mind. We will not be silenced.

I for sure will never have one again. No chance, no matter what you ...

My Anti-Vax neighbor's one year old son is so annoying.

He cries all the time, seems like he is going through a midlife crisis.

My anti vaxer neighbor's eight year old was throwing a temper tantrum

"Isn't she too old to throw a temper tantrum?", I asked.
"It's not a temper tantrum. It's a mid life crisis."

What do you call a cleaning lady who is anti-vax?

Mrs. DoubtPfizer

A vegan, an anti-vaxxer, and a flat earther walk into a bar

I know because they told everyone in 5 minutes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man in a monastry in Tibet. He finds him red-robed and shaven-headed sweeping the temple courtyard.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." he says, drawing the six-fingered sword

The six-fingered man sighs and lowers his arms "I am prepared, my son. I have been freed from Earthly desires and acheived inner peace. I wish for nothing more than to move on to m...

I'm a proud anti-vaxx mother of three children!

EDIT: I'm a proud anti-vaxx woman!

I tried to tell a covid vaccine joke to some anti-vaxxers...

But they didn't get it.

I'm anti - vax

I just don't think thier brand of vacuums are as good as the competition.

I saw an anti-abortion meme and wondered about copyright law ...

Does the image come with reproduction rights?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I accidentally took my grandpas viagra thinking it was my anti depressant medication

It’s gunna be a hard day...

Why God? Why?

One day a fellow was watching Fox News and learned about a new virus that was rapidly spreading and quickly killing those who got sick with it. The nightly news reports got worse and worse, this Covid-19 virus was spreading around the world and killing increasingly large numbers of people. But he wa...

A man arrives at a hotel after a long train journey, exhausted. He comes into a communal room and sees three other guys who are drunk and talking loudly.

They are cracking anti-government jokes and laughing at Khrushchev. The man is annoyed that he can't sleep so he hatches a plan. He walks out into a corridor and asks a staff member to bring him a cup of tea. He then comes back into the room and starts talking to the noisy fellows:

"Comrades,...

What did the anti-immigration xenophobe say when he saw an alien saucer

'You! F. O.'

What's an Anti-Vaxxer kids favorite game?

Half Life

A year after historic protests...

white, anti-vax Republicans are finally saying “I can’t breathe”.

A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.

A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.

The nurse sits down at the bar and says, "I'll have a Bloody Mary!"

The doctor sits next to her and says, "Give me a rum and coke!"
The anti-vaxver says, "No shots for me."
She then collapses and dies from polio.

Permits required A woman from Sydney who was a tree hugging, vegetarian and anti-hunter purchased a piece of native bush land in northern N.S.W.

There was a large gum tree on one of the highest points in her property.

She wanted a good view of the natural splendour of her land, so she started to climb the big gum.

As she neared the top, she encountered a koala that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the t...

I've heard of lot of anti-semetic jokes recently and I'm quite tired of them, especially as my Grandad died in Auschwitz...

If anyone wants to know how, he fell off the guard tower.

I’m an Anti-vax and I don’t care what you think.

They are absolutely the worst brand of vacuum cleaner. Dyson all the way for me!

How do you write a 21st birthday message for a guy when you only really know two things about him, that he’s an anti-vaxxer and that he likes Fozzie Bear? So far I’ve only got the first two lines.

“You would’ve been 21 today. Wokka wokka.”

Anti-abortion campaigners be like....

"You cannot defeat us!!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you think your life’s a mess, take some anti-diarrhea drug

So you can your shit together

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Goldberg owns a hardware store

He needs something for his idiot son to do, so he puts him in charge of advertising and buy a big billboard on a busy highway.

Next day, Goldberg is driving by the billboard and nearly has an accident when he sees the ad: a picture of Jesus on the cross with the line "They used Goldberg's n...

A Lady was conducting her anti drinking campaign outside a bar.....

A heavily drunk man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes. The Lady stopped him and said - "Tell me!!! If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor... Do you think the Lord will let you in ???"
"My good woman" passionately holding her hand, said the man, "When I g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An anti fur activist got into an elevator and there was a woman wearing a mink coat.

The woman says "Do you know how many animals died for you to get that coat?" The other woman says "Do yo know how many animals I fucked to get this coat?"

Which is the most desired summer body this year?

The antibody.

Anti-vaxxers are heroes

They prevent diseases from going extinct.

I support the anti-mask people

Thanks to them the average IQ is rising

How can people claim Walt Disney was anti-Semitic...

...when one of the most famous Disney songs is "When Jewish Upon a Star?"

I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.

You can say he was having a midlife crisis

A QAnon conspiracy theorist, a racist, and an anti-Semite walk into a bar.

Bartender says, "What'll you have, Congresswoman Greene?"

Did you hear that Elon Musk is trying to add Anti-German features to the new Tesla?

They are trying to add Hans free steering.

Where does all anti-vaxxers ends up??

In statistics

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jewish grammar nazis

Personally I'm anti-semantics

How will we know when the Anti-Christ is among us?

He changes wine into water.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I spent all day searching for an anti-diarrheal

I'm just trying to keep my shit together

Who knew naming a for-profit investment app after an anti-rich hero was just marketing.

I’m astounded, and am immediately switching to one called Mother Theresa.

All of my jokes are anti-vaxer related

They all die in new

Engineer and Anti-vaxxer come to the bridge

Anti-vaxxer says to the engineer: Is it safe to cross the bridge?

Engineer: It is 99,97% safe to cross that bridge.

Anti-vaxxer: I'd rather swim.

What do anti-vax kids and my memes have in common?

they both die in new

Only Anti-Vaxers will get this.

Measles.

What do you call it when a bunch of anti-maskers are kicked out of a store?

A coronal mass ejection.

What do anti-vaxxers and 5g conspiracists have in common?

They both are afraid of improving cell service.

Did you hear about the anti-gluten movement.

It's a silly act.

Show me a man who is anti circumcision

And I'll show you a complete prick.

Today Is My Cake Day

And that means my Reddit account is older than most anti-vax kids will ever be

Why was the anti-vaxxer’s 3 year old crying?

They were having a mid-life crisis.

My now knocked up GF just told me that she's an anti-vaxxerr

so I only have to pay for 4 years of child support instead of 18.

I got one of them anti bullying bracelets today

Nicked it off some fat ginger prick at the park

A group of anti-maskers looked at me disgustingly

I don't know if it was because I was wearing a mask or nothing but a mask.

I used to be an anti-vaxxer...

I changed my mind after mommy and daddy helped me overcome my fear of needles

I saw anti-maskers in Wallmart recently and I laughed at them

But I remembered my parents told me not to make fun of mentally disabled people

What disease are anti-vax kids immune to?

Adulthood. I hope this isn't taken.

A distraut wife asks her dying husband why he OD'd on his anti-depressants.

He simply said "Because either way, I'd end up happy."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A joke my cousin heard from an amateur comedian in a New York show

I was at an anti-police violence rally and somebody was shouting "Cops suck dick! Cops suck dick!" And I thought to myself... "Man, if cops did suck dick I'd be committing crimes all the time!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why should you ask an anti-masker to make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Because they are a super spreader!

What did the anti-vaxxer get for his 5th birthday?

A funeral.

What song does an dying anti-democratic bird make?

Coup....coup...

An anti-vaxxer passes away...

...and finds herself in heaven. God himself greets her, shows her around and asks if she has any questions.

She says "Not about heaven, but was I right about vaccines?"

God laughed and said "No, vaccines are perfectly safe and should be administered to everyone".

The woman ju...

What you should say to anti-maskers

You’re being asked to wear a mask, not a Nickelback teeshirt, relax

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friends are blaming me for being into anti lockdown.

I guess I need to keep my aunt from knocking on the basement door.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a Bartender, a Priest, and an Anti-Lockdown protester walk into a bar... [LONG]

Ok, not a bar, because the bars are all closed. But I digress. So they walk into... I dunno, Wal-Mart, Whatever. Turns out all three know each other and start talking about the lockdown and how it has been affecting them.

The Bartender started by lamenting the loss of their income and social ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some people call me a Grammar Nazi and I HATE it!

I am clearly not Anti-Semantic.

The author of a number of vehemently anti-circumcision books goes to get a haircut...

Barber: “And what would you like?”

Author: “Just a little off the top please”

How can you tell that the children of anti-vaxxers are radioactive?

They have half-lives.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the hardest part of being an anti-vax parent?

Scraping those stick family decals off your rear window.

I love hearing jokes about anti-vax kids

They never get old.

Why did the four year old anti vax kid cry?

Because he was in his midlife crisis.

I'm a proud anti-vax mother of 4 beautiful children

Edit: 3 beautiful children

Edit: 2 children

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A transphobe, a racist, a homophobe and an anti-Semite walk into a bar.

The bartender says “Hey, didn’t you write those Harry Potter books?”

anti crocodile substances

a man was pouring colored water every day on the streets of his town

one day his neigbhour called the police because he was pouring suspicious liquids on the streets

when the police came they asked the man:" what are you pouring on the streets? "

the guy said: "i was pouring ant...

From today onwards, I have decided to stop denigrating anti maskers.

And if you are an anti masker, “denigrate” means to put down.

So I got my first covid vaccine shot today

Afterwards, I ran into a friend and told him about it.


He replied: Huh, you took the vaccine shot?

Me: Uhm yes, why wouldn't I?

Him: I thought you were an anti-vaxxer?

Me: What, no. Why would you think that?

Him: Well most morons are...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An anti-semite goes to a bar

An anti-semite is drinking in a bar. He notices a Jew sitting at a table nearby and doesn't like it.
"Bartender!" he says, nodding at the Jew, "A round of the good stuff for everyone except him!"
Everyone happily receives a glass of premium scotch.
The [anti-semite!](http://www.afterfeed.co...

I told my ex to join the anti-vax community.

Clearly, he needs to be surrounding by other people who don’t last long.

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