UPJOKE
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I hate fencing. Whenever I check Reddit after I parry...

It’s always a riposte.

Long ago, when Reddit was not yet a website but merely a small Kingdom,

There was a tournament for knights. From all over the kingdoms, knights came to show their prowess. In front of enormous crowds the knights would do their most daring feats of swordplay, showing astounding skill and exemplary control of their weaponry. All except one knight, who consistently did ...

How do you beat Dr. Doofenshmirtz in a sword fight?

You parry the platypus

Two young, slightly speech-impaired brothers decide to join a class that will teach them fencing.

After a good while in the class, these brothers were exceptional when it came to their offense. However, they noticed their instructor avoided all non-combative techniques.

One of the brothers, Phineas, decided he would confront the instructor on this issue. However, due to the previously men...

Why is reddit like fencing?

When it's not parrying, it's full of repostes

At a fencing tournament, two people are sitting and watching the fight take place.

One of the spectators had spent her whole life devoting herself to the craft, and would have entered the tournament had she not retired a few years ago. The other, simply a fan who thinks swords are cool, having no real understanding of the sport. The fencer on the left side was playing very aggress...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone."

***"It's Hans free"***

*Funniest joke at this years Fringe by Darren Walsh.*

**The rest of the top ten.**

2 -"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3 - "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4 - "...

What’s the difference between a good fencer and the average r/jokes subscriber?

A good fencer ripostes after a successful parry, while the average subscriber of this subreddit reposts an unsuccessful joke.

I know nothing about the sport of fencing

But I attended a match with a friend who promised to explain everything.

The fencer took position, and one lunged at the other who batted the blade away.

The crowd went wild.

"That was a parry." My friend explained.

The fencer lunged again, the other deflected the blade...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, legendary fencing master Maximilian Lee is looking for a new challenger

After decades dedicating himself to his art, he finds there is no one worthy of fighting anymore. He travels to the farest corners of the world looking to reinvigorate his love of the blade.

He travels to France and challenges their most skilled and famous fighter, but to his disappointment,...

After completing filming of License to Kill, Timothy Dalton was dismayed when producers told him they wanted him to retire from the James Bond franchise.

He pleaded with producers to give him just one more film but they already had his replacement lined up, a younger actor they felt was more suitable for the leading role in an action movie. But Dalton wouldn't quit that easily. He convinced the producers that if he could best his would-be replacement...

I was having trouble with my fencing technique...

So I recently decided to take up fencing. I was talking to a friend about difficulties I was having with counterattacking my opponent. I'm fine with the parrying part, but it's what comes after the parry that I just can't seem to get right. He advised that I check out r/jokes. Apparently they're the...

I started taking fencing lessons...

The teacher started yelling fencing terms I didn't understand.

"Lunge!"

"Parry!"

"Reposte"

I stopped and said, "I can't do that, this is my first post in r/jokes and I don't wanna get flamed."

(Ain't much, but at least I tried)

A Fencing instructor came back to the academy after a well deserved holiday

Only to find that the relief instructor had been teaching his students nothing else but to parry and counter.

Apparently all the sub could do was riposte.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a young boy in a rich family going to a prestigious university.

He was doing well academically but there was a requirement for at least 3 credit hours of physical education. He tried lacrosse, but couldn't get the hang of it, and failed out during his second year. His third year, he tried polo but again, was not coordinated enough and was also afraid of the ho...

Fencing

There was a famous fencer that could defeat every opponent he came across. No matter his opponent, he could always parry their blows and was always able to score a hit. Of course, each of his opponents would look greatly unnerved after every match, walking out in anger at their utter loss.

On...

A man insulted me, so I challenged him to a duel.

I took the first swing, but he parried and thrust his sword into my shoulder. "Ow!" I said, and swung at him again. Again, he parried and thrust, this time hitting me in the stomach. "Christ, man, are you ever going to go on the offensive?!" I shouted at him. He simply shrugged and invited me to com...

Which celebrity is the best at fencing?

Katy Parry

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