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Riposte Jokes

I was going to tell a joke about fencing

But then I realised it might just be a riposte

I told a fencing joke on Reddit once.

Turned out to be a riposte.

Why isn't /r/Fencing more popular?

Too many ripostes.

What do you call an r/clevercomebacks post that has been posted before?

A riposte

Have you heard about the Redditor who tried to become a fencer? Sadly he wasn't very good because he only knew one move:

The riposte.

I would post a joke about sword fighting

But it's a riposte.

What do all reddit jokes about swordsmen have in common?

Riposte

Olympic fencing is like r/Jokes

You can score big with a good riposte!

What’s the quickest way to earn karma using your sword-fighting abilities?

Riposte

I thought I'd make a joke about fencing

but then I saw the rule about "no ripostes"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Redditor told me “Yo momma’s so dumb that she doesn’t get most of the content on r/jokes.”

“Oh yeah?” I said, “well, yo momma’s so dumb that she doesn’t get *any* of the content on r/all.”

I wanted to come back with something original, but all I could muster was a shitty riposte.

Why is r/Jokes like a fencing match?

... because you usually win with a riposte!


(This terrible pun is wholly original, so far as I know. Thus it will die in infamy without upvotes)

Why do Redditors make bad Fencers?

Because all they do is Riposte.

An r/Jokes subscriber was fencing...

His opponent was confused because he was fully on the offensive and made not even one defensive move.

After the game, the opponent asked him about his unorthodox technique.

He replied, "Oh yeah, I only know how to riposte."

My fencing opponent stood shocked for a minute, then said to me "that was amazing, did you come up with that all by yourself?"

"No," I answered, "it was a riposte."

Why do sword fighters have a high karma rating on reddit?

They have been trained to riposte.

Reddit and Fencing have something in common

There's bound to be a riposte

Why did the fencer downvote my latest submission?

It was a Riposte.

I hate fencing. Whenever I check Reddit after I parry...

It’s always a riposte.

Wanted to make a good fencing joke

But i’m sure it’ll end up being a riposte

Did you hear about the Olympic fencer who would only counter-attack?

He knew ripostes were the best way to get Gold.

What is the best joke a swordsman has ever told?

I'm not sure, but I guarantee it's not a riposte.

Reddit is just like fencing

Your response to anything original is either a block or a riposte.

What do you call a quick, clever reply to an insult or criticism.

A riposte

If someone has already submitted a joke about defensive swordsmanship...

...sorry for the riposte.

What do you call a redditor who copies and pastes dead jokes?

A RIPoster.

A redditor with an interest in fencing was on r/rareinsults

He found an amusing and witty retort, and was about to upvote, but alas he remembered. It was a riposte

My fencing teacher must've been a redditor

He kept shouting 'That's a riposte! That's a riposte!'

What's the difference between this sub and fencing?

In fencing people don't carry on and yell every time there's a riposte.

What is a technique used by both swordfighters and Reddit users?

Riposte

I've seen a lot of great moves as a fencing teacher...

...but you guys have the best ripostes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The French fencer

There once was a famous French fencer. He learned how to fence at a young age and honed his skills over time, his prowess with the foil unmatched in all of France. After defeating all French contenders, he moved on to defeat fencers in nearby countries, eventually becoming the best in Europe. As his...

Why do redditors make such good fencers?

They're used to dealing with ripostes.

If someone makes a joke about swords and someone else copies it...

Does that make it a *riposte?*

Did you hear about the fencing teacher’s new, though unoriginal lesson?

The riposte, he called it.

Never pick a fight with a redditor.

He is likely to riposte

A Fencing instructor came back to the academy after a well deserved holiday

Only to find that the relief instructor had been teaching his students nothing else but to parry and counter.

Apparently all the sub could do was riposte.

I learned a new move in fencing class today.

Riposte

what do you call a fencing tournament held on a nuclear submersible?

A sub full of ripostes

What's the number one comeback on r/Jokes?

Riposte.

TIL Reddit is quite similar to fencing.

Full of ripostes.

I was going to post a joke about the Fencing Instructor's best move...

But it's probably a Riposte...

Two fencers had a bet to see who could get more reddit karma.

A month later the loser asks the winner how he won.

"I showed unique and new moves what did you do?"

"All I did is riposte."

Did you hear about the fencing champion who only had one move in his repertoire?

He was completely unoriginal and only knew how to riposte. I have no idea how jokers like him get silver and gold.

Yesterday I insulted a fencer...

He made a convincing riposte. I got the point.

Everybody here must be a fencer

Because all I see are ripostes

Oscar Chavez was a great fencer

He won many tournaments until he entered the r/jokes fencing tournament.

He used his usual aggressive thrusts, but only his opponents quick parries would score points.

Enraged, he asked the judges why he lost without scoring any points.

"I'm sorry, but this is r/jokes, OC alwa...

I was going to make a joke about swordplay...

But I was afraid my joke would be a riposte

Two guys are sitting on the bench at fencing class waiting for their turn to spar while watching a couple others practice on the piste

Guy1: You see the guy on the left there? I bet he's got a lot of karma on reddit.

Guy2: Wow! How can you tell?

Guy1: The only thing he knows how to do is riposte.

Why should fencers be banned from reddit?

Because they spend too much time trying to riposte.

How can you tell if a fencer is a redditor?

By how often he ripostes.

Found a interesting submission today about how to counter-attack while fencing...

Then I realized it was a riposte.

Before getting engaged to Serena, Alexis Ohanian actually dated a fencer

Until he got sick of the ripostes.

I saw a fencing gif for the second time the other day

It was a riposte.

The Pentagon posted on Reddit about their cyber counterattack on Russia last night..

It was a riposte.

I apologize if I've already joked about swordsmanship.

I don't mean to riposte.

Did you hear about the guy who repeated a joke on /r/jokes?

He insisted it wasn't a riposte.

I thought my witty comeback was completely original....

Turns out it was a riposte.

A king was visiting the training grounds with his swordmaster

A king was visiting the training grounds with his swordmaster.

There was a crowd watching two fencers trade blows.

The first fencer performed an attack and the crowd gasped.

The king, who isn't into the sport, asked his swordmaster about the move.

"That's what you'd call ...

Why was the Black Knight downvoted?

Because he ripostes.

A monk decides to take up the art of swordplay.

Taking some time off from the Buddhist monastery, he trains with his fencing teacher, learning all the positions, attacks and defenses, and generally becomes fairly proficient at the sport. His teacher encourages him to take up the competition circuit, as there is little left she can teach the monk....

At a fencing tournament, two people are sitting and watching the fight take place.

One of the spectators had spent her whole life devoting herself to the craft, and would have entered the tournament had she not retired a few years ago. The other, simply a fan who thinks swords are cool, having no real understanding of the sport. The fencer on the left side was playing very aggress...

A man insulted me, so I challenged him to a duel.

I took the first swing, but he parried and thrust his sword into my shoulder. "Ow!" I said, and swung at him again. Again, he parried and thrust, this time hitting me in the stomach. "Christ, man, are you ever going to go on the offensive?!" I shouted at him. He simply shrugged and invited me to com...

Fencing

There was a famous fencer that could defeat every opponent he came across. No matter his opponent, he could always parry their blows and was always able to score a hit. Of course, each of his opponents would look greatly unnerved after every match, walking out in anger at their utter loss.

On...

Jacques and Pierre were bitter enemies

So one day, Jacques challenged Pierre to a duel. Swords were chosen. They faced off and drew their weapons. Jacques struck first, thrusting his sword toward Pierre, but Pierre daftly swatted his sword to the side and returned a thrust, piercing Jacques in the shoulder. They circled each other a few ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, legendary fencing master Maximilian Lee is looking for a new challenger

After decades dedicating himself to his art, he finds there is no one worthy of fighting anymore. He travels to the farest corners of the world looking to reinvigorate his love of the blade.

He travels to France and challenges their most skilled and famous fighter, but to his disappointment,...

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