UPJOKE
competitionracetournamentchallengematchchampionshipgameeventcontendrepugnrivalryseriesdisputeopposecompetitions

Contests Jokes

Beauty contests are becoming a popular way to promote things. For instance, the winner of the Trigonometry Club's beauty pageant was crowned....

Miss Calculation.

Tour Leader pageant winner:
Miss Guided

Encyclopedia Brittanica pageant winner:
Miss Information

A Viking sailed across Europe challenging people to staring contests.

He was so confident in his abilities that he promised to hand over all of the gold he had pillaged to anyone who could defeat him. The news spread throughout Europe, catching the attention of a couple in Ireland whose daughter was born without eyelids.

Believing that their daughter was guaran...

Swimming Contest

Swimming contest
Joe and Jim were at the lake. Joe said, “Let’s have a swimming contest.” Jim said, “No way, you know you’ll win. You’re twice as fast as me.”


Joe said, “Well, how about if you take the canoe across while I swim? Will you race then?”


“Oka...

Which section of the house wins at staring contests 100% of the time?

The stairs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The thing about Masturbation Contests is

If you want to come first, you have to cum last

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently saw an advertisement for a double entendre contest

So I entered my friend

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why dont cows ever win baking contests?

Their pies taste like shit.

Coin flipping contests are rigged!

Just a heads up.

Why are art contests so disappointing?

They always end in a draw

No one competes against Tom in staring contests anymore. He’s a cheat...

...he uses stareoids.

Bar Contest

So a guy who's new in town walks into the nearest water hole. As he walks in he see this huge jar full of ten dollar bills. Curious, he asks the barman what its all about. 
"If you can complete three challenges you win the whole jar." 
The guy thought there must have been thousands in th...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.