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Leslie Nielsen auditioned for a specific role in Harry Potter.

But the casting director, unsure who this old actor was, told him :
— Shirley, you can't be Sirius.

A fellow actor told me to break a leg…

I told him to call my casting agent

A movie studio is casting roles for a documentary about classical musicians.

Tom Cruise says “I’ll play the part of Mozart”
Liam Neeson says “I’ll make a great Beethoven”
Arnold Schwarzenegger says “I’ll be Bach”

What do you call a witch who can never decide between casting good or bad spells?

A trans-hex-ual.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sex addict, an alcoholic and a pot head die and arrive at the gates of heaven.

Jesus is standing there looking at them sternly he says, " I stand at these gates to judge the souls that have passed on. If you do not deserve to enter heaven then you will be cast to the fire filled depths of hell where you will spend all eternity in agony."

The three sinners knowing the li...

Apparently Danny Devito is casting a new film about Baroque composers.

Arnold Schwarzenegger will be Bach.

Did you hear about the witch that was casting spells and driving at the same time?

She turned her car into a tree.

A tourist drives along the shore of the Dead Sea and spots a fisherman casting his fishing rod into the water.

The tourist, surprised, stops and explains to the fisherman that no fish can live in the Dead Sea.

The fisherman said “Yes, some do.   For $10, you may sit next to me and I will show you.”

The curious tourist paid the $10 and waited patiently. After an hour, the tourist said: “hey, whe...

The casting for Hamilton was awful,

It makes no sense cast an American to play King George who is obviously British.

Casting Dwayne Johnson in a movie is a bold decision...

Casting The Rock is a boulder decision.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just heard that Budweiser is suing Stella Artois for casting Sarah Jessica Parker in their Super Bowl LIII ad.

Apparently they have a trademark on beer advertisements starring a horse.

Which singer has problems casting spells?

Barry Mana Low

Steven Spielberg wants to make a movie about famous composers, so he puts out a casting call.

Gary Oldman walks in first and says, "I played Beethoven in *Immortal Beloved*, so I already have experience playing the part."

Tom Hulce calls in next, "I was Mozart in *Amadeus*, and would love to play him again.

Arnold Schwarzenegger meets with him and says, "I'll be Bach."

I was never really into fishing until the casting accident.

After that I was hooked.

Microsoft did a commerical for a disability controller, I wonder how they did the casting.

Wanted disabled kid for a commercial must know a Fortnite dance.

A famous casting director dies and ascends to heaven.

He comes to Saint Peter before the pearly gates, and Peter asks him, “Why should I allow you into heaven?”

The casting director smiles and says, “Because I’m without sin.”

Peter raises an eyebrow, and asks, “Are you?”

“Yes, I am. You see, just before I died, I worked on a mov...

Why is the barbarian carrying a skillet?

Wizard: Why is the barbarian carrying a skillet?

Bard: He thinks it's his spellcasting focus.

Wizard: He has spells?

Bard: Just one. Every time he hits someone with it, he shouts "Cast iron!"

I'm casting my vote for official anthem of Reddit

I vote that it should be "Karma Chameleon".

Interview (casting) :

- Please, list your 1 strong feature
- I'm persistent
- Thank you, we will contact you later
- I'll wait here

Did you hear about Tom Hiddleston's secret audition to be in the next Marvel movie? Apparently he dropped his voice an octave to throw the casting director off balance...

He was auditioning as a low key, low-key, Loki.

The other day I was casting for a movie about my life

I'd chosen the actor to play my father, but he said "I don't wanna be your father"

To which I replied "Perfect, you already know your lines"

Tommy Wiseau was considering casting Dumbo as a lead actor

He changed his mind because nobody would talk about the elephant in the room.

What does a sandwich shop and an adult film casting agency have in common?

Both offer 6 and 12 inches in many varieties.

this might crack you up

Humpty Dumpty wanted to be cast as the lead for an upcoming remake of Casablanca. He made it through several rounds of auditions and was among the final pool of candidates.

At the end of the final day, the candidates joined the film staff in walking to a nearby Chinese restaurant for dinner.<...

When they were making "Lincoln", do you think the casting director said,

"I need to see some head shots."

In the 90s, it had become pretty hip to include just one or two minorities in a Hollywood movie.

One studio always put just one Black guy in each of their movies as a diversity hire. You know, the clerk at a convenience store, some guy in the background, one of the protagonist's lesser of many friends. Someone who wouldn't get a lot of screen time, would probably die first.

During a 1994...

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