Races Jokes

Try as I might I just can't get myself to like the 200 meter dash.

The guy downs the scotch in a single gulp and glancing nervously towards the doors says **"Quick, give me another shot of you finest Scotch before the trouble starts"**

The guy downs that Scotch too and says, ***"Quick, another shot before the trouble starts".*** The barman pauses and says **... read more

Because they love the smell of defeat.

No offense, I just don't enjoy Nascar.

Black, asian, normal, it doesn't matter

They come to the track and start thinking which horse to bet upon. After all, they don't know much about the matter. Suddenly, one says:

**Woman 1**: Listen, I have an idea. What's your cup size?

**Woman 2**: C.

**Woman 1**: And mine is D. That's three and four. Three plus four ... read more

Because every line is a Finnish line.

The physicist could not get any job, so he decided to bet on horse races to make a living. He did intensive experimentation, and used state of the art machine learning algorithms to gain more insight. After filling many notebooks and accumulating a very large amount of data, he exclaims "I have the ... read more

LAN parties, DnD nights, wheelchair races, having awesome songs from the 2000's as our golden oldies! It'll be great, especially if we can line up our work schedules!

“No, the cars are much faster.”

Like the marathon. That takes a lot of stamina, and is a far superior race.

And if you thought this was going somewhere else... you need to take a good hard look at yourself!

That's why I hate triathlons.

Are usually Thais

Even the bad ones.

because they're next to the finnish

Marathons are awful.

For instance, anything with an obstacle in it. Like if I’m running 10k, don’t make me climb over a wall halfway through it.

Her: What do you do?

Me: I race cars.

Her: Do you win many races?

Me: No, the cars are much faster.

There's already a marathon in July and it makes getting home a nightmare

He runs in the house yelling to his wife, “Honey! I won the lottery. Pack your bags. I won the lottery.”

His wife asks “Should I pack for the beach or a cruise?”

He responds “I don’t care. Just get out!”

They were moving really slow. Then I thought if I remove their shells then they would go faster, but if anything they were more sluggish

But how will drivers know they’ve entered the last lap of the race? 🏳

For example Formula 1 has become really boring

Such as the 800 meter dash.

Because he is always coming a little behind.

I'm sick and tired of people doing running , cycling and swimming and claiming it as one triathlon event! They are separate activities, and as such should be treated that way.

Because all races are equal

Because I hate the 10k, more of a 5k type of guy.

I'm so sick of people combining biking, swimming and running and calling it one single race. "iTs A tRiAtHaLOn" shut up lmfao. Those are 3 different events, and should be treated as such.

I mean it's ridiculous, all those horses would trample the marathoners.

terrorist wins

Which is why I'm no longer allowed to position the starting blocks at the Olympics.

Just imagine how unfair it would be for a horse in NASCAR.

An eracer.

My friends want me to do a 10k but I don’t really like running more than 5k at a time.

Because it refuses to ketchup.

It's hare racing.

Indy 500, Talladega, and Daytona just to name a few

Especially the 800 m dash

A Statistician, Engineer and Physicist go to the horse track.

Each have their system for betting on the winner and they're sure of it.


After the race is over, the Statistician wanders into the nearby bar, defeated. He notices the Engineer, sits down next to him, and begins lamentin... read more

The 10k is twice as long as the 5k race

I like running the 5k personally, my friend runs the 10k and he’s like that better though

So a French cat and a British cat, by the names of "One two three Cat" and "Un deux trois Cat" had a swimming race across the channel to decide wether or not to call it the French channel or British channel. One two three Cat won. Why? Because Un deux trois Cat sank.

It is the finals for a multi terrain cat racing competition. The final event was to swim across a river.

There were three cats in the finals.

- A French cat named *Un Deux Trois*.
- An English cat named *Four Three Two*.
- A German cat named *Eins Zwei*.

During the rac... read more

But he got angrier when I pointed out they still wave it on the final lap every race