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A Jewish joke updated for modern times

Pastor Jackson and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Washington DC in 2022. "Pastor Jackson," said his secretary, "I notice you're reading Fox News! I can't understand why. A Black libel website! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Black person?"

"On the...

A man walks into the Election Office.....

and says to the receptionist: "I would like to put my name forward for the forthcoming elections to be an Independent candidate."

The receptionist replied: "Certainly, sir. Please fill in this form.''

He was filling the form until he came to the question - ''Are you circumcised?'' So...

The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.

Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.

A politician visits a rural area to gain appeal for the upcoming elections

He schedules a meeting with the local leaders to discuss problems the town has been experiencing so that he could provide help and solutions.

"Governor, our town has been experiencing two big problems," says one of the leaders

The politician pounds his table, "Ok tell me what they are,...

I wish my college professors graded papers like Trump 'wins' elections

\*Professor grading my test\*

Well he got the first couple questions right looks like I can stop grading the rest.

I was going to post a joke about free and fair elections....

But I’m not sure the Americans will get it.

Greek vs. Italian

Two old men are arguing about the history and the splendors of Athens and Rome.

The Greek man says "Look, all I'm saying is that the Greeks invented everything the Romans get credit for!"

The Italian says "Yes, may be, but the Romans improved it and made it useful!"

The Greek...

It's that time of the year when many Americans go around in public pretending to be something they're not, with many choosing to appear as monsters and ghouls. But enough about the elections, it's also Halloween.

But enough about the elections, it's also Halloween.

Putin and the Journalist

With the Russian Elections coming up, a reporter asks Russian President Vladimir Putin a question at a press conference.

"With Hillary Clinton almost becoming president, and Kamala Harris being elected the Vice President in the United States, do you think that a Russian woman could ever rise ...

What is the only thing that if you fix you make it worse?

Elections

With the elections around the corner, do you know who had the best shot at POTUS?

Lee Harvey Oswald.

The U.S. election results delay is pathetic

In Egypt, we know who won before the elections.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are strippers good at elections?

Because they know how to work the pole.

After elections president Putin receives a call

- Mr. President I have two news, a good one and a bad one.
- Start from the good one.
- You got elected president again.
- And the bad one?
- No one voted for you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the difference between sex and US Presidental elections?

In sex,the decision to choose the cunt or the asshole is a pleasure

If Russia interfered in USA elections, that proves the system works just a little

At least someone's vote counts

Obama once visited North Korea and he asked Kim Yong Un: "Do you ever have elections?" (NSFW)

Kim replied: "Yes I have elections evely molning!"

I'm upset about the election

SNL will have to go back to political satire instead of news.

A man owns an elections store

One day, another electronics store opens up beside him with a massive sign proclaiming "Best deals"

In the afternoon of the same day another electronics store opens up on the other side with a ginormous sign claiming "lowest prices"

The man is worried until he has a brilliant idea. The...

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