Teacher: “Can anyone give me an example of a paradigm shift?”
Little Johnny: “It’s when you change a pair of dimes into four nickels.”
What does a waffle call his complete existential paradigm shift?
His eggo death
Ross Noble on Victoria Beckham
I don't know if you’re across this, but currently the country’s going through what scientists call "the Spice Girls paradigm" Everyone's trying really hard, but Victoria's ruining it.
Best things to say if you're caught sleeping on your desk...
“They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
“This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me.”
“Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!”
“I wasn’t sleepin...
Timmy loved tractors. His life was all about tractors.
Timmy loved tractors. His life was all about tractors. Tractor bedspread, tractor themed birthday parties, tractor t-shirts, school bags, lunchbox, everything Timmy owned was tractor themed in some way. He knew everything there was to know about tractors; big, small, new, old, he knew it all. When h...
Useful Metric Equivalents
* 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone * 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles * 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds * 52 = 1 decacards * 1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn * 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche * 435.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake * 10 rations = 1 decoration * 10 m...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
New weights and measures
1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with Go...
Why didn't the philosopher like your way of making 20 cents?
Because it was different from his paradigms.