Theorem Jokes

The bartender says, "I'm not going to get this joke aren't I?"

which this post is too short to contain

It goes something like if an infinite number of Redditors typed away on keyboards, one of them will eventually type a complete day of work.

01. *LORENZ'S LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR*

Once your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

02. *ANTHONY'S LAW OF THE WORKSHOP*

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

03. *KOVAC'S CONUNDRUM*

When u dial a wrong numbe... read more

Squeeze Theorem

The mathematician was holding a pencil and declared "With this pencil, I could prove an important theorem! The proof would influence all of math for future generations and make a major impact!"

The redneck, excited by the statement, said "I'll trade you the pencil for 50 bucks and 100 pencils... read more

He keeps talking about his Bayes' Theorem

We greeted and she asked me directions to the State Bank of India. I told her make a 299 degrees turn and walk for 290 meters, then subtend the angle of X using Pythagoras Theorem and round it up to the nearest degree using tan ∆. From that point, draw a parabolic curve and walk 342 meters on its ma... read more

Three squaws were each preparing for the birth of their first child. The
first squaw placed a large bear hide by a river, the second squaw placed
an elk hide by a tree by a river, and the third squaw placed a
hippopotamus hide by a path, near the river and the tree so that the
three form... read more

...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.

T... read more

As an undergraduate, I was a Double E major. I studied physics, quantum mechanics, and Maxwell’s equations! I designed circuits! Hah! But does anyone call me Pierre the Electrical Engineer? NO!

As a master’s student, I studied mathematics. I learned and proved many beautiful theorems! I broke... read more

A philosophy major writes a long eloquent response but doesn't bother to actually answer the question.

A math major makes a formal proof that 2=2 and that addition is commutative before using the squeeze theorem to prove that 4≤2+2≤4.

An engineering major knows the answer is 4 but writ... read more

There were once 3 kingdoms that bordered the same lake. In the middle of the lake there was an island, and the 3 kingdoms had been fighting over it for years. No one seemed to be able to keep the upper hand for very long and no one had been victorious. The wars over this little island were very cost... read more