What can solve over population and world hunger at the same time?

Cannibalism

Population Growth

A small town with a high birth rate attracted the attention of a team of university sociologists. They wrote a grant proposal, got a chunk of money, hired aides and an anthropologist, found a family planning and birth control specialist, moved to town, rented offices, set up their computers, and des...

A government run initiative to restore the male geese population is getting a lot of media attention...

Critics are referring to it as proper gander.

The percent of the population holding anti-vaccination beliefs has gotten up to the mid-teens.

Unlike their children.

Which city has the largest population?

Density.

What would the world’s population be if it were only Brazilians?

About 7.7 brazillion

What city has the highest blind population?

Venetians!
This is my first post to r/jokes

My town’s population has remained constant over the last 30 years.

Whenever a girl gets pregnant, a guy skips town.

A mental asylum was getting too crowded so the director decided to do a quick test to try and lessen the population..

He chose 15 least mentally ill patients to a room wich he had painted a door on the wall.
He says: "behind that door is freedom, you can now leave this hospital." all of the patients jumped off their benches and and started running towards the door painted on the wall and smashed into the wall e...

Which country's capital has the fastest growing population?

Ireland. Every day it's Dublin

Why I'm tired

The population of this country is about 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work. ...

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China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor the women are extra fertile.

But their condoms are "Made in China"

Have you heard about that new virus that is devastating the bird population?

It’s called Chirpies.

What’s most heartbreaking about it is that it’s...

untweetable.

“We’ve divided the population as you’ve requested, Mr. President,” announced the assistant from the doorway, “so we’re just waiting on your final approval for the memory wipe.”

“Wipe the memory of groups 1-8,” replied the president, “leave group 9 alone but wipe group 10 too.”

“Sir? You want us to wipe groups 1 through 8 and then 10, but not 9? Group 9 refers to... children born between 1990 and 1999, why should they be left with their memories?”

The presiden...

[Long] The population of this country is 300 million.

60 million are retired.

That leaves 240 million to do the work.

There are 95 million in school.

Which leaves 145 million to do the work.

Of this there are 22 million employed by the government.

Leaving 123 million to do the work.

61 million are disabled.
...

I grew up in a town where the population never changed…

Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town.

When you market TV shows and movies in other countries, it's not uncommon to change the title in order to appeal to the local population.

For example, the Chinese title for "Black Mirror" is "Really Cool Ideas".

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There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today, than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today, than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

The population is running low so the government decides to pay its citizens $50,000 for every child they have at that time

A man hears the news and says to his wife, "I have a kid with my girlfriend. I'm going to bring him so we can add him to our 4 kids." He goes for the kid and when he comes back, he only finds one of his kids remaining.

Stunned, he asks: "Where are the other 3?"

"You are not the only ...

What city grows twice its population?

Dublin

Three people die and appear before Buddha

Stunned by the divine presence before them, they lower their heads.

-Raise your heads. You were humble in life and your deeds were praiseworthy. You have earned the right to a reincarnation of your choice. You have much to accomplish yet though.

One of the people takes a step forward a...

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There once was a country with strict population growth rules.

The population was so low, the government had enacted a law that required all couples to have children within 5 years of their marriage. Should a couple fail to produce a child during this period, a government official would be sent to "get the job done".

Such was the situation of a couple, w...

Did you know that the Spanish-speaking population of Canada knows how to unplug from technology once in a while, do nothing, and learn to be bored with their free time?

That's right, they can nada.

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Australia is doing phenomenally on the Olympic medal tally considering our population

#1. USA: 318.9 million
#2. China: 1.357 billion
#3. Japan: 173.3 million
#4. Australia: 48 as of last census

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I want to start a political party called the People of our Population....

..... I know it would be the POOP but it would be better than the shit we have to deal with now.

Only 1% of population uses the labels on clothes to check washing method

The remaining 99% believes that the label is to see where the back side is.

Statistics say that 95% of the population is dumb

I'm glad to be in the 10% that isn't.

Unfortunately a large population of the East Coast of the US are attaching sleds to their backs.

Now it's all going down hill rather quickly.

Ireland's population is out of control

It keeps Dublin and Dublin

A recent study was released on head lice stating that 95% of lice populations are resistant to treatment.

Scientists are scratching their heads trying to figure out how this happened.

I was shocked to find out that 35% of America's prison population is white.

Surely we don't need that many guards.

Ever wondered why china has over 1 billion population?

Cause the condom they use is "Made in china"

Now I understand why the British population was on a steady decline these past few years...

Brits are really good at pulling out.

Growing up, it always my childhood dream to study populations...

...then I came to my census

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A horny American man gets sent to the desert for a job

The desert has a total population of 50 people. After a couple months of his "dry-spell", the man seeks to find out if there's a way to "get the job done" somewhere in the desert.

He asks the locals around and they guide him to the "PIMP with the Camel". He immediately runs up to the PIMP and...

Why, with twice the population of the United States at the time didn't China invent the airplane first?

Well, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Welcome to Skagway where the population always remains the same.

Every time a child is born, a man leaves town.

Why the population in India is exploding these days?

Because everyone over there is doing IT!

How is it that rice originated from China to become a staple food for a large part of the world's human population?

I mean, come on! They couldn't even pronounce it.

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Being Gay

Pro: Reduces the global population

Con: It sure is a pain in the butt

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I was worried about the population problem

But then I realized we just shouldn't give a fuck.

China has a population of a billion people.

One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

You know, Ireland has really made a comeback since the potato famine...

Everyday the population is Dublin

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All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen... Aleve is also called Naproxen.   

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.   

After careful consideration by a team of...

The Manhattan Project was an urban development program

It was designed to make city populations explode

How many population geneticists does it take to change a light bulb?

It's independent of population size.

So I just heard there is a disease killing off the Alligator population in Florida.

They all got Gatorades.

The Farmer was careful to monitor the ratio of roosters to chickens

He was trying to control ova population.

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If you can kill 2 birds with one stone, How many can you kill with 5?

Half the fucking population

​

\#ThanosDidNothingWrong

2 people walk across a street.

One guy is called Cookie. He is determined to do every good deed he can do, and finish it when he starts.
The other guy is called Candy. He helps cookie with the good deeds, big or small.

Suddenly, Cookie finds a sock on the street. “ look, a sock! We need to get it back to it’s original o...

I'm wondering why everyone doesn't use the metric system

since that 15/16 of the world's population uses it.

The world was calmly doing their business when a new toy was released.

It was a battery-powered robot named Mister Edward that took the world by storm. Mister Edward toys were even connected to the internet. Eventually a virus started to spread which caused all the Mister Edward toys to attempt to destroy all of humanity. They eventually started succeeding, and the pop...

Pol Pot was in his palace...

Pol Pot was in his palace in Phnom Penh one day when his lieutenant came in and told him that a plague had arrived in the west of Cambodia. The lieutenant told him that on the first day, the plague victims became covered in pustules and boils. On the second day, an incredible fever started which nev...

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A kid asks his dad about how politics work

His father explains: Well my son, look at it this way. It is split into five main sections: The people, the government, the economic power, the future of the country and the working class.

​

Son: I don't understand

​

Father: Think of it this way: I a...

Not even 1% get this joke...

the other 99% of world population does not even read it.

Trump solves an edumacation problem

The Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, comes running into the oval office and says, "Mr president! Mr president! I just found out fully HALF the population is below average intelligence. What can we do about it?" Trump thinks for a moment and tells her "See what you can do to increase the lower hal...

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A luxury airplane is flying over Europe, carrying five passengers: representatives from England, Japan, USA, Canada, and Russia.

The pilot emerges from the cockpit, interrupting their conversation. "Slowly but surely, we are falling. I will attempt to crash-land as smoothly as possible, but I urge you to jump out with a parachute."

After briefly explaining how to use the parachutes, the pilot goes back to the controls....

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A rabbi and the Pope have a religious debate

Several of the Pope's officials are concerend about the growing Jewish population in Rome, so the encourage the Holy Father to set up a religious debate with the head Rabbi. If the Rabbi loses, he must leave Rome. If he wins, they can stay.

However, the Rabbi doesn't speak Italian or Latin an...

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What happens in the bomb shelter...

There is a bombing, and the population has been invacuated into bomb shelters. In one such shelter, of an older make, there are no separate rooms and everyone there stays in one large room. It is late in the night, and everyone is lying on the floor, covered by blankets of all sorts, those provided ...

We should be more thankful for anti-vaxxers.

They’re volunteering their kids to help keep the population down!

A study conducted in the United States showed that:

1. The popular sport of the urban population is basketball

2. Favourite sport of maintenance people is bowling

3. The favourite sport of the average staff is football

4. The favourite sport of senior staff is baseball

5. The favourite sport of directors is tennis

6...

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A teacher asked her class "What is sex?"

Johny got up and said:

"Sex is a *temptation*

Caused by a *sensation*

Where a boy sticks his *location*

Into a girls *destination*

To increase *population*

For the next *generation*

Did you get my *explanation*

Or so you need a *demonstration?*...