What country has the fastest growing population?

Ireland. It's Dublin every year.

97.62% of the world's population has accepted climate change as a scientific fact.

The rest of them are in North America.

(NSFW) a 1990 Kinsey Institute report states that 5 to 10 percent of the U.S. population engages in sadomasochism at least an occasional basis.

That's a rough estimate

Did you know the most tragic event where 1/4 of the human population died?

Apparently, it happened when Abel was murdered.

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"If you could push a button and would receive $100 million, but you would whipe out 50% of the earth's human population (without anyone knowing it was you), would you push that button?"

A friend of ours: "I vould push it three times".

An electrical fault at the zoo saw the entire tortoise population electrocuted.

It was a turtle disaster.

The spread of the Coronavirus is based on two factors

1. How dense the population is
2. How dense the population is

Americas covid numbers are only because the population is so dense

There are also a lot of people in certain locations

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What’s the difference between Jesus and vaccines?

One has the ability to prevent disease, slow down and eventually stop a global pandemic, and has saved countless millions of lives.

The other is a giant hoax, made up by evil shit bags to control the global population.

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why is japans population so old?

the last time they had a little boy it didnt go so well

I didn’t think I’d ever be turned on by population statistics...

But then I came to my census

There are immigrants who had came to America, stolen jobs and murdered the local population

and we call those immigrants the founding fathers

Doctors were able to convince 70% of the population about the importance of vaccination

Veterinarians are working to convince the 30%.

My town’s population never changes.

Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

A psychologist, a general, and a government official are tasked with reducing underage crime in a sample population put under their authority. Whoever drops it the most in a year, wins. After the year is done, they have a meeting to discuss their results.

The psychologist starts: "We lowered underage crime by over 20% in the last year, mostly by introducing counseling courses, and social assistance programs."

The General goes: "Crime is down by over 30%. Turns out, strict discipline and a one-strike rule can greatly affect people's habits."...

What is Alabama's population size?

Family size.

Which country's capital has the fastest growing population?

Ireland. Everday it's Dublin.





\*Idk if this has been on here yet. My co worker told me this and I about had a stroke.\*

Scientists have recently discovered that 97% of the worlds population is kind of dumb.

Phew, thank god I'm part of the other 5%.

I'm using an operating system to wipe out half of the population in this universe...

It's called ThanOS

We're in Trouble

The population of this country is 327 million.

76 million are retired.

That leaves 251 million to do the work.

There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.

Which leaves 203 million to do the work

There are 74 million children younger than 6 ...

98% percent of the population is stupid.

Luckily I’m part of the 3%.

California scientists are studying the impact of cannabis seeds from the farms will have on the local seabird population

Apparently they are being thorough and are leaving no tern unstoned

Somebody told me there's an invasive species of giant frogs destroying local populations all across North America...

... What a bunch of bull.

and oldie but a goodie

back in ancient china, before the populations number a million, a monk lived near his friend, who was on the other side of the river. he wrote a long poem, full of phrases like "the seven winds could not move me" and was very proud of it. he sent it to his friend via dove.

when his friend sen...

The cattle population is being affected by the pandemic.

They have cowronavirus.

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How to control population ?

Google: Use a Condom

Bing: \*Cocks Gun\*

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China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor the women are extra fertile.

But their condoms are "Made in China"

The election of Vladimir Putin will commence in a few days

Citizens will be asked to choose between Putin and the firing squad.

As of now, 80% of the population approve of him.

>!The rest 20% are missing!<

Everyone likes to laugh at other people's inability with numbers. However, 45% of people consider themselves bad at math, every twentieth member of the population hates decimals, 1 out of 5 people can't do mental arithmetic and 3/10 can't do fractions without a calculator.

Yet only one in a hundred find this funny.

I came from a small town where the population always stayed the same...

Whenever a girl got pregnant, someone left town.

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Easily accessible porn is causing increased cases of erectile dysfunction in younger populations...

Its a growing problem.

What do you call a headcount of the prison population?

A consensus.

As the world’s population swelled over the past few decades, Santa’s sleigh got heavier and heavier, requiring more reindeer to pull it.

Santa hired two new reindeer as crew, Lee and Franklin.

As part of their new hire training both Lee and Franklin go through a lot of physical training, navigational training, as well as a list of things that is to be packed on the sleigh.

Franklin is going through the list of banned it...

I read that 70% of Earth's population are stupid

Good thing I'm one of the other 40% !

If the human population held hands around the equator...

A significant portion of them would drown

The percent of the population holding anti-vaccination beliefs has gotten up to the mid-teens.

Unlike their children.

I just read that 6.7% of the world's population have a problem with alcohol.

And I thought "6.7%...That would be a pretty strong beer."

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Despite black people making up only 13% of the population, they make up 50% of...

Captain Americas ^in ^the ^mcu

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There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today, than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today, than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Since self quarantine, masturbation has doubled among the population...

You know what they say desperate times call for desperate pleasures...

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The reasoning behind both Japan's aging population and healthy lifestyle

A long-running fear of another Fat Man and Little Boy

Last night I had a dream that I was responsible for culling half the living population on Earth.

Then I snapped out of it.

Studies suggest that approximately 90% of the world's population is right-handed.

On the other hand, 10% of the world's population is left-handed.

What is the population of Brazil?

I’d say about a Brazilian people or so

I think everyone is wrong about President Bolsonaro of Brazil. The man's obviously a deeply committed environmentalist...

After all, wiping out a sizable part of your population is a great way to save the rain forests.

It's widely known that some members of a prison population become well-read and crafty with words.

Sometimes you can mix prose with cons.

What nation has caused the largest population growth since 1970?

Insemination.

If half the population really are introverts...

... why haven't I met any?

Have you heard about that new virus that is devastating the bird population?

It’s called Chirpies.

What’s most heartbreaking about it is that it’s...

untweetable.

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There once was a country with strict population growth rules.

The population was so low, the government had enacted a law that required all couples to have children within 5 years of their marriage. Should a couple fail to produce a child during this period, a government official would be sent to "get the job done".

Such was the situation of a couple, w...

What can solve over population and world hunger at the same time?

Cannibalism

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.



A few other excellent puns:

He wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then he changed his mind.

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? - Ireland. It’s Dublin every day.

A ...

“We’ve divided the population as you’ve requested, Mr. President,” announced the assistant from the doorway, “so we’re just waiting on your final approval for the memory wipe.”

“Wipe the memory of groups 1-8,” replied the president, “leave group 9 alone but wipe group 10 too.”

“Sir? You want us to wipe groups 1 through 8 and then 10, but not 9? Group 9 refers to... children born between 1990 and 1999, why should they be left with their memories?”

The presiden...

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Australia is doing phenomenally on the Olympic medal tally considering our population

#1. USA: 318.9 million
#2. China: 1.357 billion
#3. Japan: 173.3 million
#4. Australia: 48 as of last census

They say 99% of the population is stupid...

I'm glad to be a member of the other 2%!

Population Growth

A small town with a high birth rate attracted the attention of a team of university sociologists. They wrote a grant proposal, got a chunk of money, hired aides and an anthropologist, found a family planning and birth control specialist, moved to town, rented offices, set up their computers, and des...

A government run initiative to restore the male geese population is getting a lot of media attention...

Critics are referring to it as proper gander.

Demographers estimate that the Jagger Tipping Point, the moment when a majority of the UK population are direct descendants of Mick Jagger, will likely occur around the year 2300.

I wonder how weird that will feel to Keith Richards.

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Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?

Because the last time a Fat Man came to town, they lost half their population.

Three men die and appear before Buddha...

Stunned by the divine presence before them, they lower their heads.

\-Raise your heads. You were humble in life and your deeds were praiseworthy. You have earned the right to a reincarnation of your choice. You have much to accomplish yet though.

One of the people takes a step forwa...

When you market TV shows and movies in other countries, it's not uncommon to change the title in order to appeal to the local population.

For example, the Chinese title for "Black Mirror" is "Really Cool Ideas".

Only 1% of population uses the labels on clothes to check washing method

The remaining 99% believes that the label is to see where the back side is.

A long time ago, on the Island of Tridia,

A group of peculiar people dwelled in peace. They were a small, peace-loving group of individuals. They were peculiar for several reasons: they were all extremely short, the tallest of them coming to a whopping meter in height; they were zealously religious, but they had no particular religion; and ...

God was handing out talents one morning

To some, He gave the power to create life. The angels around Him were in awe as crops flourished and population soared. To others, he gave fine skills and artistry. His angelic entourage marveled at intricate needlework, tapestry, and sculpture.

God stooped down low and found a man waiting i...

Now I understand why the British population was on a steady decline these past few years...

Brits are really good at pulling out.

I was shocked to find out that 35% of America's prison population is white.

Surely we don't need that many guards.

Ever wondered why china has over 1 billion population?

Cause the condom they use is "Made in china"

Did you know that the Spanish-speaking population of Canada knows how to unplug from technology once in a while, do nothing, and learn to be bored with their free time?

That's right, they can nada.

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I was worried about the population problem

But then I realized we just shouldn't give a fuck.

Unfortunately a large population of the East Coast of the US are attaching sleds to their backs.

Now it's all going down hill rather quickly.

The population is running low so the government decides to pay its citizens $50,000 for every child they have at that time

A man hears the news and says to his wife, "I have a kid with my girlfriend. I'm going to bring him so we can add him to our 4 kids." He goes for the kid and when he comes back, he only finds one of his kids remaining.

Stunned, he asks: "Where are the other 3?"

"You are not the only ...

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