Community Service Jokes

I hope he isnt beating himself up over this

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, "I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week."

The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there w... read more

The pilot of the plane has a stroke and passes away. As the plane plummets its passengers to death the five members of the aircraft argue over who deserve to have the four bags containing the parachutes.

Social Worker: I deserve to live because I protect vulnerable children and support famili... read more

They're disgusted by his haircut, tattoos, and piercings. Later, when he leaves, the girl's mom says, "Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy."

"Oh, please, mom!" says the daughter. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"

I was assigned the “Recycling Program”. I figured I’d start here since there’s a lot of reused content which would reduce my searching.

A blonde was sentenced to a couple weeks of community service for a small crime she commited. Once assigned to a supervisor, he explained to her that her job was to paint the yellow line in the middle of the roads. Her quota was 2 miles a day.

By the end of the first day, the blonde painted 4... read more

If you ask me it was a harsh punishment for only a wee crime.

I'll see myself out.

A Man walked into a Washington D.C. Catholic Church Confessional. He tells the Priest: "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned”. Last night, I killed a Congressman. The Priest responds: "Son, I'm here to forgive your sins, not discuss your community service work!"

The judge reviews the evidence and decides to sentence the hooker to community service for 6 months.

Then the hooker goes "Community service? What do you think I've been doing this whole time?!"

Mortified doesn't describe how Jane's parents felt after meeting her boyfriend. He sported vile tattoos, swore and just had a hostile air about him.

After he left, the mother said, "Dear, he doesn't seem like a very nice person."

"Mom," Jane said, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be do... read more

A teenage girl is having a heated argument with her mother about her boyfriend, whom the mother does not like at all. "You can ground me, you can take my cell phone, but I am still seeing Roger". "I don't think he's any good" said mom. "He is too a good boy, why else would he be doing 200 hours of ... read more

Rabbi Hoffman is hiring an assistant, and he’s interviewing a young man named Uri for the job.

The rabbi read through Uri’s resume. He had extensive community service, excellent grades, and had never missed service.

“This all looks very good, young man. I’m going to need help cleaning... read more

"I'm not coming in today, I've got the squirts."

He said, "I'm fed up with this, it's the same time every week!"

I said, "I can't help it, my wife has community service on Tuesdays and we can't find a babysitter."

At the end of his sermons every single Sunday, a priest proclaims to his congregation that they should go out and do community service in the name of God. He then goes on even longer about how he is going to be feeding homeless people, building schools, etc etc, for the rest of the day. After the se... read more

Everybody knew him, everybody liked him, he never bothered anybody, until one day someone saw him down by the beach catching an osprey and cooking it up, and they called the cops. The cops arrived as he was finishing his meal, telling him "ospreys are protected animals around here. Sorry, but we got... read more