Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each...

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of ...

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The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, havin...

A backpacker finds a small village tucked away in the mountains with one tiny bar

He walks into the bar and there are all these old men just sitting around in silence. So the backpacker orders a beer and finds himself a seat.

Suddenly one of the men shouts, "Number 7!" and the whole room erupts with laughter.

The backpacker is surprised by this but then the laughter...

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Genghis Khan and his soldiers attacked a tiny village of their enemy country and took all the men and women as prisoners..

Later in the evening,after being intoxicated,the sadistic Genghis decides to play a game..

He asks all the men from the village to stand in a line and strip down their pants..

He then instructed one of the wives of the men to be blindfolded and she should recognize her husband after ex...

In a remote tribal village…

A baby is born with light skin and fair hair. The expectant father, whose features are quite dark, is outraged. He gathers his weapons and heads straight for the only fair-skinned man in the entire region: a missionary the next village over who bears a striking resemblance to this newborn child.
...

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A man accepts a job in a village with no women. Once there, he asks a local: -There is really no women here? -None. -So... How do you guys do when you need to have sex?

There is a donkey close to the river for that.

The man tries to ignore and go home, where he can see the river and therefore, the donkey. After months in that village, every day the donkey seemed a little more attractive, so one day when a few other men asked him if he'd like to go to the don...

In our Village

We don't have a Town Drunk. We all take turns.

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Three vampires are having a competition to find out who's the most vicious vampire amongst them.

The first one says, “Watch this,"


  
He flies fast, at about 100 miles/hour. After 10 minutes, he comes back with blood all over his mouth.


 

“What happened?" asked the other vampires.


  


“Did you see that house over there?" he inquired....

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A reporter went to a small village...

And asked one of the villagers, "hey could you tell me a story about your village?" The villager says "well one time a neighbors goat got lost in the mountains, and we all got together to look for it, and then we found it. We all celebrated and drank and then we all had sex with the goat".

T...

A politician visits a remote village to garner some votes. He gathers a group of villagers and ask what problems they face.

One guy says crying "sir, we have not had water for months, our crops are dying, we are suffering"

On hearing this the politician takes out his phone and talks into it. "I want all the fields washed with water poured from helicopters." He puts the phone back in his pocket and asks " Ok, what...

Our village has a lady lumberjack

Every time I see her I get wood

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A tourist is walking through an isolated village in India

As his walk progresses, his stomach starts to gurgle and his butt puckers like the mouth of an infant who was cruelly given a lemon.

He looks around for a place to privately relieve himself. He sees an outhouse and rushes inside. In the outhouse is just a short divider wall to lean over and...

A man who had worked for British Rail in a small village for many years decided it was time to move up in the world... [long]

Walter had been a track-switcher on the railway line that ran past his tiny English village for most of his life. All day long he sat in his little hut and switched the points as trains approached.

One day he got it into his head that it was time to move up in the world, so he wrote to Britis...

A Rich Wall Street trader visits a village

During his stay, he sees a young man sleeping everyday and doing nothing outside his house. So he decides to persuade him to change his life and goes on to talk to him.

Trader: Hello young man, looks like you have nothing to do. I suggest you come with me to New York.

Man: What happ...

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A young girl started work in the village chemist shop.

She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public.
The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would
be willing to run the shop on her own.
She had to confide in him her worries about selling the contraceptives.
"Look," he said. "My regular customers do...

An 88-year old man came to the hospital and said to the doctor, “Doctor, my 18 year old wife is pregnant with my child.”

The doctor paused and said, “There was a master bear shooter in a village. He never missed a shot.

But one day he was in a hurry, and took his umbrella instead of his rifle by mistake.

When he encountered a bear, he still didn’t realize his mistake and pointed the umbrella and shot the...

A catholic missionary is baptizing people in a river near an African village.

He pushes Mutombo under water and raises him again. Then he tells him:
"You are now Christian, and so you are no longer called Mutombo, you are now Joseph.
Oh and one more thing. Since you are Christian, you are no longer allowed to eat meat on fridays. "

The next friday, the priest...

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Albert the village postman is retiring after 50 years on the job

So he puts on his satchel and collects his last mailbag from the post office, and sets out on his last round.

He drops off a few letters at the local library. The librarian smiles and presents him with a leather bound volume of The Complete Works of Charles Dickens: "Here you are, Albert. We...

A woman marries a narcissist

There was a woman who married a man who never thought of anyone other than himself. His favorite thing to do was to complain about his wife to anyone who would hear. One day he went out with a mule and started complaining about his wife to the mule. The mule was so annoyed by his complaining that it...

Once there was a young boy, around 8 years old, who lived in a village at the bottom of a hill. On top of the hill was a temple where monks lived.

One day, he heard a strange sound coming from the top of the hill. Curious, he walks up the hill and knocks on the giant doors at the front of the temple. The head monk answers the door and asks what he can do for the kid. However, when the kid asks what the sound was, he simply replies, “I can’t te...

World War II, occupied Poland - three partisans who survived a firefight run into a village, fleeing a Wehrmacht squad. Exhausted, they stop by a well...

"They've surrounded the village" one of them says. "There's no way out, sarge!"


"Let's hide in the well" the sergeant responds. "We can hold on to the bucket and brace ourselves against the top walls. Just remember, if anyone comes near, we have to act like the echo, or they'll get suspic...

An Afghan villager is walking down a road with his wife ahead of him a few steps.

He meets his fellow villager going the opposite way.

He says, "Ahmed, Prophet Muhammad would never let his wife walk ahead of him."

The first villager replies, "Well, at the time of the Prophet there were no minefields."

A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.

“We have two big needs,” said the village headman. “First, we have a hospital but no doctor.”

The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said: “I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?”

“We have no cellphone reception ...

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A doctor is visiting a remote village

A man comes to him and says, "Big Chief, no shit"

The doctor pours him a small amount of castor oil and tells him it should solve the problem.

Next day, the man goes to the doctor again and says, "Big Chief, no shit"

The doctor pours a little more castor oil and tells him it wi...

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A man gets a new job in a remote village with no women.

A few days after he gets there he asks a local, “You really have no women here?”.

“None” replies the man.

“Okay...so what do you do if you want to have sex?” he asks with concern in his voice.

“Oh that’s no problem, there’s a donkey tied up close to the river for that.”

T...

The village blacksmith was glad to have finally found an apprentice that did not mind the long hours and was willing to work hard.

He instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.”The apprentice did just as he was told.

And now he’s the village blacksmith.

*One never knows,,, A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village . None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy Arthur!!!!!"

One day Arthur's mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!! The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew he...

A missionary is in a tribal village in Africa.

One day the chief summons him. The chief is angry, and brings out a white baby.

"My wife just had a white baby. You are the only white man in the village. What have you done??"

The missionary thinks, then brings the chief outside, to a field. He points to a flock of sheep.

"This...

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A wealthy village man, Narendra Singh, is elected the leader of a group of villages in North India

He decides to give a victory speech to each of these villages. To do this, however, he realized he would need a secretary to introduce him and brag about how great he is, because it would look stupid if he did it himself. So he hires Mohan Nath, a highly respected member of his own village.

M...

In a small South American village, a man was putting the final touches on a new cheese recipe…

The man, a chemist, was surprised at the secret ingredients that made it so delicious: sodium, carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen.

“Now I just need to give it a name…” he thought.

Suddenly, a burglar dropped out of nowhere and snagged the vat of cheesy goodness!

“STOP!” the man shoute...

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I grew up in a small village...

...where I pretty much laid all the new roads in the place but was I known as Mikey the road layer?

No.

I single handedly built three bridges across the river there connecting the two sides of the village for the first time ever. Was I known as Mikey the bridge builder?

No....

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An Australian joke (but it may translate..)

ScoMo (the Australian Prime Minister, right wing, evangelical, ex marketing specialist) is visiting a remote indigenous village, surrounded by the fawning Murdoch press. He speaks to the village elder and asks him how he can make the locals lives better.

"Well," says the elder, "We've got two...

A village was devastated by a lion's multiple attacks on the villagers.

Many hunters attempted to kill the lion but all of them became prey of the lion.

One day a hunter named Killer John (KJ) came to the village claiming that he can kill the lion. The villagers asked what are your going to do that the earlier hunters couldn't do.

KJ asked the help of vill...

A priest who came to a village in Africa which was very ignorant, was trying to educate the natives.

While he preached every morning that people should do good and be kind to each other, he would try to teach English to the head of the tribe in the afternoon. One day the priest took the chief with him and started walking
Meanwhile, he was trying to increase the knowledge of the chief by saying t...

A POLITICIAN visited a village and asked what their needs were

”We have 2 basic needs, sir,” replied the villager.
“Firstly, we have a hospital, but there’s not the doctor.”

On hearing this, the politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then aske...

There was a fire at my local model village today

Eye witness reports claim that flames could be seen from up to 3 feet away

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American tour bus pulls up at a small Mexican village.

After a few hours shopping one of the tourists asks a sleepy local laying by a tree the time. The guy throws back his poncho, leans over and cups the balls of a donkey with his hand, lifting them up and down, "it's 4:35 senoir." Astounded the tourist calls to his wife, "git over here and see how the...

Villager 1: Flee for your lives! The mad scientist in the castle turned a tiny lizard into a monster that's destroying everything in its path!

Villager 2: Meh, why bother. We're doomed from the gecko.

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Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The...

The village of idiots.

There is a village of idiots. Every month the village gathers in the town square, where 3 people from the neighboring town each bring in an object so,the town's folk can guess what it is. It's great fun for the whole town women, men, young and old alike join the festivities. The first person walks t...

In a very poor village in Vietnam, farmers had a feud because of a cow eating off the wrong rice paddy.

One farmer got so upset he hired the local hitman to off the cow. The village was so poor the hitman had no guns, so killed the cow by bashing it with a porcelain figure.

Police said it was the first case they ever saw of a Knick Knack Paddy Whack.

Three vampires are gathering in the middle of the night to compare their strength...

Says the first : See that woman over there? Wait... <wooshes away and comes back after 20 seconds, the mouth still dripping of fresh blood>. See - it only took me 20 seconds to completely empty that body!

Says the second : Not bad, but uh... see that village over there? Wait... <woos...

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There are two men hiking through the jungle

They come across a village of native Indians who take them hostage. The leader tells them that they have two options for punishment. Death or boomba?

“Well I don’t wanna die so I’ll choose boomba” says the first guy.

Then comes out boomba. A 700 hundred pound naked man covered in wart...

Private, do you see that village?

Yes sir!

I don't want to see it!

Yes sir!

\*Proceeds to throw tarp over commander\*

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A joke my dad told me...

A young American man went to Scotland to see the sights, he travelled from village to village, admiring the architecture and stonework, all the rustic buildings and cozy homes.

So he decides in one of the villages to stop at a sleepy little pub. There's an old man sitting at the bar alone, no...

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There was an alcoholic man in a village

So he seeked help from the village's only doctor.
-"Tell me about your problem", said the doc.
-"I just can't stop drinking and nothing can help me, I am an alcoholic", said helplessly the man.
- "I will fix that!", said the doc and started fucking the alcoholic in the ass.
After it was ...

Thor visits a Quaint little village disguised as a traveler.

In the village he meets a young maiden and they spend the night together.

The next morning, he's standing by the window when the maiden hobbles over.

He decides to come clean, so he turns to her and says "I'm Thor".

"You think you're thor? I can hardly walk"

Robin Hood's Successor

It had been many years since Robin Hood began his quest of "stealing from the rich and giving to the poor". By now he was growing old and tired, and wanted to find someone who could carry on his legacy and lead a new band of Merry Men.

He searched through many villages for someone he could de...

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Small village

In a country,there was a small village which has very bad winter conditions. So bad that , no communication, no WiFi,no transportation to anywhere.
One of correspandant of a newspaper decided to write an essay about that' village.
He set off and hardly reached to village. He found the sheriff ...

Is that cow from Minsk?

A small village in Russia had a cow that was able to produce enough milk for the village. She produced like a machine, until one day she started producing less and less. Realizing that her production was going to cease, the villagers asked their Rabbi for advice.

"You should go to the place ...

Little Mikey

Little Mikey Tomlinson loved his school. He lived in a little fishing village and his mom was the school teacher. The school had a tradition. If it was your birthday you got to choose the fish for lunch and any toy you wanted from the toy chest. For months he had his eye on a replica AC cobra hot wh...

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Colonel Reichman, an interrogation specialist for the German army, was walking around in a quaint little Swiss village one day during WWII. He spots a little shop selling clocks and watches and decides to enter.

Inside, the owner, a lady standing behind the counter, immediately recognizes who he is and welcomes him into the shop, asking how she can be of assistance.

"Frauline,” he starts "Deez are all very nice little clocks and vatches you have in here, but ze von I am interested in is zat big grand...

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A hero comes to a village...

The villagers all looks very upset, so the hero ask what happen. ‟There is a huge dragon living in the mountain. Every week, it’ll come down and eat one of our virgin girls” the villager reply. The hero then promise to help. Two weeks later, the dragon starved to death.

My grandad said there’s gangs at his retirement village

The blood clots and the cripples

A local copper was walking through his quiet English village when he spots a red Ferrari coming through just a little bit too fast. He steps out into the road, stops the car, and walks up to the driver's window.

"Going a bit fast there, don't you think?"

"This road is the b35 so I was going 35mph." Replies the driver.

The copper shakes his head at the driver's stupidity. "That's not how it works, son. It's tight bends and small single lanes for miles around here, 30mph maximum." The copper the...

There was a south pacific island village...

Far away in the south pacific, there once was an island village with the custom of electing a new chief every year. By tradition, the laborers of the village would work for months every year to create a giant, ornate bamboo throne for each new chief.

The thrones from previous chiefs began to...

In an African tribe village, the chieftain's wife gave birth to a white skinned child.

The chieftain quickly figured the voluntary doctor from Europe might be to blame. So the chieftain asked him to talk in his tent.

Chieftain: "Today my wife gave birth to a white child. She and I are dark skinned. You are white. It doesn't take a doctor to figure out that you have slept with ...

A village idiot walks into a library

He goes to the librarian and says, "Ma'am, I'm looking for a book by Shakespeare."

The librarian says, "Sure, hon. Which one?"

The idiot says, "William".

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A priest kept chickens at his village.

One evening, the cock went missing.

At the church mass prayer gathering, the priest asked, "Who has a cock?"... all the men stand up.

"No, I meant who has seen a cock?"... all the women get up.

"No no no! Who has seen a cock that isn't their's?"... Half the women stay standing.<...

A man in his 80’s went to a doctor with his beautiful, breathtaking 25 year old lady.

Doctor helped the frail old man in his clinic: What can I do for you today, sir?

Old man said to the Dr: I married this beautiful angel 2 months ago, and she is pregnant with my baby. At this age, I forgot how to care for the mother, I want to seek your advice.

Doctor a little taken ...

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A deaf and mute orphan in a small village...

...is found pregnant. The villagers cannot find any way to get the poor girl to help them find out what happened. As the girl is due to give birth, a nasty rumor begins to circulate among the folk: the preacher is to blame.

The preacher does not expect the villagers to care much for the vile ...

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An Amercian, a Russian and a Shepherd from mountains are drinking.

American starts boasting : " Guys , in USA we have such a big hangar , that it takes a full tank of fuel to cross from one side to other." Russian: " aa that is nothing , we in mother russia , we have such a large pot for potatoes , that we use two nuclear submarines for stirring." . Shepherd " Well...

My sick friend wrote to me about water scarcity in his village.

I sent him a get well soon card.

A journalist goes to Russia for a documentary. In a little village he saw an old man and asked him to narrate a typical happy story of his village.

The old man smiled and began:"One day, a long time ago, my goat got lost in the mountains. As is our tradition, all the men of the village gathered to drink vodka first and then looked for the goat. When we finally found her, as is our tradition, we all drank some more vodka and all the men in the v...

Two nuns, who were in Africa to spread the gospel, ran out of gas with their jeep just outside a remote village they had visited.

One of the nuns remembered they had a small gas station of sorts in the village, so they decided to walk back and get some gas for their jeep. They couldn’t find any can in the car, but one of them grabbed a potty from their sanitary equipment and said it would suffice, and off they went. As they re...

Did you know that most of the Viking raiders were children?

Because it takes a child to raze a village.

Chic and Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five are plotting to destroy the world, and so former arch-enemies the Village People and the Beastie Boys put aside their differences to stop them

The slaughter is brutal and extremely exciting to watch, but finally, it ends in a showdown: Nile Rogers and Grandmaster Flash, laughing as they square up to the last surviving Beastie Boy and the last surviving Village Person.

He straightens his hard hat, draws his sword and charges at Nile ...

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Another man accepts a job in a village with no women...

He asked his foreman "what do you do without any women here?"

The foreman replies "there's a barrel with a knothole in the side. Stick your dick in it and you'll be able to get off".

The new recruit is surprised but eventually gets horny enough to give it a try. He is amazed: it feels ...

Joe the Carpenter

Joe was a simple and serious man. He was a carpenter in a small village named Arge Oaks where he owned the store "Joe's Carpentry."

For years Joe impressed his fellow neighbors with the highest quality carpentry work. Some people in town complained he was a bit too expensive, but no one ever...

An American doctor is doing aid work in an Afghan village.

A woman in the village gives birth to a white baby. The village leader goes to the doctor and says:

“Doctor I am no fool. You’re the only white man around for miles. That baby must be yours.”

The doctor is caught off guard and as he’s pondering what to say he sees a group of goats. Th...

In a small Jewish village, a man walks into the butcher shop.

He doesn’t look at the meat, and instead just mopes around, sighing. Eventually, the butcher is forced to ask, “Binyamin, what’s wrong?”

“Oy, gevalt, you’d never believe it, but my son went to Jerusalem, and he came back a Christian!”

“You’re kidding?”

“No, I promise!”

Th...

Mother Superior was curious as why all the nuns were suddenly eager to visit the village bakery.

So she decided to journey from the convent and into town to find out for herself.

When she entered the bakery, the baker greeted her with a big smile.

“Greetings Sister! What can I get for you today?”

“What do you suggest?” She asked.

“Well, this new recipe of mine has ...

So there's this village on the Black Sea coast in Turkey

Over time a pothole in the road has got so big that people are falling into it and getting injured.

It get so bad that all the villagers get together to decide what to do about the hole in the road.

One of them says, "We should have an ambulance standing by ready to take people to the ...

A russian village has a tradition...

...where each year they they hold a very unusal contest, that consists of 4 challenges: First, the contestants must down a bottle of vodka, then they must swim across an icy lake, third they must shake hands with a chained up wild bear on the other side, and finally they have to run to the closest v...

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Amanda and Bob are walking through the village on a hot day, both very thirsty.

They both see their friend Carl walking to his house with a bucket full of water in his hands. Bob asks him "Carl, where'd you get all that water you're carrying?" to which Carl responds "Oh, I went down to the... uhh... the hole in the plaza that goes down into the earth and there's water at the bo...

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Jim moves to a small village for a new job...

... And the village has no women - only men and animals.

Jim asks a villager, "There are no women? How do you live without sex?"

The villager points to a horse and says, "Oh, we just use that horse over there."

Jim, now absolutely revolted, walks away in disgust. He thinks to hi...

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Talking Horse for Sale

A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, “Talking Horse for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to check it out.


“So what have you done with your life?” he asks the horse.


“I’ve led a full life,” the horse answers miraculously. “I was born i...

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water...

...however if you sponsor Jack and Jill for just $2 a month, we can build a well with clean water right in their village.

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A man gets sick in a remote village

A man gets sick in a remote village and his neighbors take him to the nearest doctor, far away in the big city. The doctor examines the man and prescribes him a suppository. He says to his neighbors the pill should be placed in the patients rectum. They take the doctors number in case anything happe...

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A man goes to his village medicine man and requests a colonic for his constipation.

The medicine man ponders for a moment and says, “Let’s try something else first.” He opens a jar and pulls out a dried out fern. He places the fern into a cup of hot water and waits as it brews. “Here, take a sip.” The man does as he is told. Suddenly, his eyes rolls back in his head, followed by th...

In the village...

In the village, one man asks another:





\- Does your horse smoke?

\- No.

\- Then run quickly, your barn is on fire.

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once upon a time there was a village where everyone was named after letters of the Alphabet.

Also everyone referred to one another as "person".

"Hello person"
"How are you person"
Greetings, fellow person!"

and so on.


Anyways one day an outsider wanders into the village and he is being introduced to everyone by the village guide.

"This, is person A. Tha...

A bus full of politicians crashed in a remote village.

Days later, when the reporters went there they found that all the corpses have been buried. And they went to the village chief to ask about the details. He told them how it was raining and that their bus lost control and crashed into a tree.
And then the politicians in the bus were screaming that...

Maybe it takes a village to raise a child...

I know it takes a vineyard to home school them.

Government official visits a remote village

An official once went on a field trip to one of the small remote villages.

He asked, what can the government do for you?

They replied: we have a health center, but there is no doctor.

He immediately picked up his phone and dialed

a number and in a very strong voice deman...

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A different man accepts a job in a village with no women

The first few months are fine, but Bob starts to feel urges.

After work one day he asked some of his new friends what they do when they get horny. They tell Bob there is a herd of sheep just over the hill. Bob is taken back. This has to be a joke right? You don't really do it with sheep?
<...

Three vampires are competing at who can drink the most blood

They decide to meet in an hour and see who drank the most. An hour passes and they meet. The first vampire's face is bloody. The second vampire is even bloodier, his hands are bloody aswell. But the third one won: the blood is dripping down his face and his shirt is coverred in it, and so are his ha...

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There was a businessman whose wife was REALLY into sex.

He was a hardworking guy but still managed to satisfy his wife's needs.

One time he had to leave for another country for a business meet. He would've been gone for a week.
He knew his wife's sex drive and didn't want to take risks so he thought he should gift her something so she can sat...

Please stop calling Congress village idiots.

Village idiots are far less useless.

There once was a man named Ulf, and he was the meanest Viking in all the land.

Time after time he proved his temperament, and so obnoxious was he that the world knew him as Rude Ulf.

Despite his prowess, the village soon found him unbearable, and even his mother had not a kind thing to say.

Amidst pleas and cries for Rude Ulf’s exile, the chief gave him an ultima...

Today I wrote my first fully original joke. It's bad.

So there was once this one giant who had magic powers. So the giant being so tall and heavy was afraid of storing things on the floor because he would sometimes step on them and break them without realizing it.

After enough times of that happening he decided he would use his magic to just ma...

On my way to climb Mt. Everest, I came upon a local villager who said he had a rooster that laid eggs.

"How is that possible?" I asked.
"Himalayan rooster," he replied.

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Bob the builder

This is an old one, hopefully most of you haven’t heard it.

So the old man Bob was sitting with village children and reminiscing about old times. Bob says “ I built so many homes but nobody ever says, Bob the great home builder. Bob built so many miles of road but nobody calls Bob the great ...

Guy goes traveling to a small village in the jungle...

when he arrives he hears drums coming from the mountain behind the village. He asks the driver what the deal is with the drums. Driver says, "Oh. Drums stop very bad." Huh.
Well next he's walking around the village checking it out and he asks one of the villagers about the drums and the vil...

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A villager had a small penis and hated it...

One day, he decided he's had enough of his pitiful manhood and goes to see the village elder.

The elder referred him to a shaman living in the center of a village, so he went to see the shaman. When he got there, he told the shaman about his small penis.

The shaman nodded his head, and...

Hopefully it is original. If it’s not, sorry!

3 guys are lost in a particular foreign Village and now the cold night arrived. So they tried to go around houses hoping someone will take them in for the night.

First house: Guy 1– We are lost and we need a place to stay the night. Can you take us in?

Owner(looks at the 3 of them)— ...

There once was a village whose mayors were all named Benny and had magnificent beards

Legend held that if a mayor shaved his beard off, an ancient curse would transform him into a piece of pottery.

Centuries passed and every Benny was a fair and wise mayor, and never shaved their beards. But one summer, their land was struck by a terrible heat wave. All the men of the villag...

Once upon a time there was a teacher in a small village

This teacher is known to have screwed many girls in the village. After a few months, he decides to move out from the village. Before he leaves, a villager asks him the secret of how he has slept with this many girls. He answers "Silently enter the room, walk near her and blow in her neck".
The v...

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A newly graduated doctor is assigned to a rural area, and after a few days he realizes that there were no women in the village, they were all men.

After taking a bit of confidence he asks one of his patients that they did when they had the need for sex and the patient replied: That they went down to the river.

The weekend came and the doctor went to the river, and there was a huge line of men standing on the shore of the river. Being so...

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In a little village in africa everyone is black except the pastor who's white

One day one of the black man becomes a father. It's a beautiful son but there is a problem : the baby is white. So the black man being super pissed goes and see the pastor accusing him to have a relationship with his wife.

The pastor then says :

'You know my son there is a lot of mist...

A farmer & his 3 beautiful daughters.

This farmer has 3 beautiful daughters and at the local village there's a Fair coming up.

The boys in the village are trying to figure out how to gain the farmers permission to ask his daughters out to the fair and hear he's a big fan of poetry

A few of the boys brainstorm on what they ...

Guy and his comforter.

A newly married guy from a village went back to the city for his job. He went alone so that he could make living arrangements for him and his wife and then he'd take his wife as well. Once he got a decent apartment, he wrote a letter to his father in the village saying that father, please send my wi...

After a generous contribution by the band Thin Lizzy, a seaside village was able to put their navigation marks back out to sea

The residents are ecstatic. The buoys are back in town.

Let me tell you a little story about a criminal.

So in Thailand there was a gangster named "Mr. Phoon.", and one day he was passing through a small village that was home to a man he had had "taken care of", when the man had tried to interfere with the flow of Mr. Phoon's drugs into the town.

Now it was a stormy day, and some of the famil...

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A TV crew was on a remote village making a documentary…

…they stopped a villager and asked him if he would tell a happy anecdote for the camera. The man smiled, gave a deep, longing breath and told “well, there was this time when Sven’s sheep got lost, so it wandered up the mountain, so we got together to look for it. We searched and searched all day lon...

Genghis Khan once had the hands of an entire village of superb bowmen maimed so their skills could never be used against him. Similarly, he crippled a conquered town of excellent sprinters

For the town, it was a crushing de feet

I decided to get Minecraft. I found a village and killed all the villagers.

Then I opened the game.

Tom goes to a funeral

So one day, Tom, who is a villager, receives a letter from his good friend Harry who lives in the city. The letter says that Tom's father died while in the city and he should come for the funeral. Tom is heartbroken and shaken due to the news, but he has to go anyway.

He arrives at the funera...

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One day, terrorists attacked a village [NSFW]

Warning : A joke from my own language. Terrible grammar ahead.

They took the men of village as hostages. The head of terrorists wanted to have some fun this time. He called the wives of the men to the camp of terrorists. He put bandage to women's eyes and told men to lose their pants. Terrori...

A young man named Theseus moves to a lakeside fishing village looking for work

When he arrives, he finds one of the residents, Justin, is interested in going out and seeing the world, and wants to sell his fishing boat to fund that trip. Thinking that it might be a good way to make a living, Theseus buys the boat and spends the next few years learning the trade, establishing a...

A tourist found himself in a sleepy little country village.

He approached one of the locals and asked to take him to the oldest inhabitant.


The villager replied, ' Well sir, we ain't got one now. He died last week.'

Pedro reaches the doctor's clinic

Pedro reaches the doctor's clinic looking very despondent.

Doc: What're you here for?

Pedro: The vasectomy camp.

Dr: Oh ok. How many kids do you have?

Pedro: None. I am not even married !!

Dr (shocked): Then why do you want a vasectomy?

Pedro: Every man in t...

Life is like the ocean

In the years before World War II, in a little Polish village, a learned rabbi used to teach his students, “Life is like the ocean.” And they would nod and respond, “Yes, life is like the ocean.” One young student was particularly taken with this philosophy, and he carried it with him through the lon...

Sam was a man with big dreams who lived in a small countryside village

One day, sam decided to follow his dreams and went to the big city. "Now you gotta find a job, Sam" he said to himself, and went to search for one.

After being rejected from several job interviews, Sam returns defeated to his home, there, he decides not to give up. With some money from his pa...

In a certain country, there are specialized manufacturing villages

There are shoes village, candy village, light bulb village... Deeper in the mountains there are villages that even produce things like air conditioners or TVs.
But the most rural one is the remote village.

Some monks came down to a small village in need of carpentry. They offered to replace all the wooden pillars and support beams in all the buildings by themselves. When the villagers asked why they were being so generous, the head monk simply replied

"Isn't it obvious? We're reposting for karma."

A reporter visits a small village farm to interview a farmer about his sheep.

A reporter visits a small village farm to interview a farmer about his sheep.

Reporter:So Billy,what do feed your sheep?

Billy:I feed the white one corn mix.

Reporter:what about the black one?

Billy:I feed it corn mix as well.

Reporter: Ok,where do your sheep sleep...

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WWII, nazis came to some village and decided to have a little fun

So, they line up all the men from the village and pick one of their women. And one of the nazis says: "We'll kill all of you unless you will find your husband while blindfolded only by touching his dick".


So, they blindfold her and she begins touching. "Not mine, not mine, not mine, this ...

A village is being terrorized by a man eating tiger.

All the villagers' efforts to catch this tiger have been in vain. They call an acclaimed hunter "One shot Bob" who is so named because rumor has it that he can disable or kill any animal with just one shot.

So the hunter arrives, all smug and self assured. He prepares for the hunt and perch...

Two Piglets

In a small village, two children are given two piglets by their parents.

The younger brother asks the other, "How will we tell them apart?"

"Well how about we cut the tail off my piglet, that way the one with the tail is yours and the one without a tail is mine." answered the older bro...

In the small village the 5G transmitter was built.

Some time after building, the villagers started being angry about it. Soon, they made a petition against it. A secretary comes to the director of the project to inform him about the whole situation.
- Director, you may want to look at this.
- What is this?
- A petition against placing our t...

A young man finds the perfect girl from his small village for marriage

He asks his father for his blessings, but the father tells him that he was screwing around in his youth, and that the girl he wants to marry is in fact his sister.

The young man devastated but still wanting to get married suggests his next door neighbor's daughter. The father tells him with ...

Two tourists were travelling around Europe and had gone to the village of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

They stopped for lunch and asked the lady behind the counter, "Could you please pronounce the name of this place for us, and do it very slowly?" "The lady behind the counter then said "Buuurrrgeeeeer Kiiiiiiiing."

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An Englishman, an American and a Japanese guy are on a boat, moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom...

Suddenly a genie appears. The genie explains that he is of limited power. He cannot prevent their inevitable deaths, but he can grant each man one wish before he dies.

The American steps up first. 'I love my country. Before I die I want to sing my national anthem one last time. The full versi...

A Prince was visiting a small, unknown village wearing a fancy hat made from the hair of a fox...

The villagers asked the Prince, "That is a magnificent hat you have, what made you decide to wear it?"

"Well", said the Prince, "I was telling the Queen about my plan to visit your small village and she replied, 'Wear the fox hat?' And that's why I'm wearing it today"

What does vikings call english villages?

Chopping centers.

Once a woman from a big city...

Once a woman from big city got married to a man who used to live in the forest with his tribe. That man was illiterate and have never been to a city before and the same goes for his tribe and his family.
After the marriage, the woman moved to his husband house in the village.
On her first mo...

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Little Red Riding Hood sets out to go visit her grandmother, who lives in another village

As she's walking on the forest road, she sees the big, bad wolf hiding behind a shrub. She stops and says:

\-My, what big red eyes you have!

The wolf looks at her and leaves without saying a word, disappearing in the dense forest. Little red riding hood continues walking on the same fo...

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