A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship.
He turns on his signal lamp and sends, “Change your course, 10 degrees west.”
The light signals back, “Change yours, 10 degrees east.”
The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, “I’m a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.”
The light signals back, “I’m a Seama...
When you're trying to slingshot around Jupiter but you run out of fuel and end up on a collision course with one of Jupiter's moons...
Europa creek with no paddle.
I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.
A British ship is on a collision course and this is the following transcription with an Irish:
Irish: We need you to divert your course 15 degrees to the west to avoid collision.
British: No, you need to move your ship 15 degrees to the west to avoid collision. We’re not moving.
Irish: Negative. We’re gonna need you to divert your course to avoid a collision. Now!
British...
US Battleship and Canadian Navy
I remembered an old joke I read awhile back. Some details may be off, but figured I had to share:
An American battleship ship is traveling at night around Canada when the radio comes on. It says "Canadian Navy to American Battleship, we have detected that you are on a collision course with us...
Two battleships were out at sea during heavy weather for several days...
The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.
Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the starboard bow."
"Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain called out.
Lo...
Duckiiiiiies
Two philosophers sat chatting in a bar, when one posed a question to the other. “Imagine to yourself there were two ducks; one that could not stop moving in a certain directions, and could not be stopped, and another which could not by any means move or be moved. Say they were on a collision course,...
The Captain of an American Airliner receives a message from a few miles ahead...
The Captain of an American Aircraft Carrier is sailing his ship through a deep fog, so much that he can barely see anything. They are moving slowly, and all crew members are instructed to be on high alert, ready to act at a moment's notice. Suddenly, he receives a call from something just a few mile...
Saw a good one earlier and got inspired to do something similar
I'll give it try. Since this is my first ever post on this sub, I hope you guys let me down easy.
One day, Larry walked past a TV store. On the screen of the fattest flat-screen TV, a national news-broadcast was running a story about an object from outer space on a collision course with E...
An admiral is sailing a ship...
and ahead of him, spots an incoming light. He radios the light, commanding, "Turn 10 degrees South to avoid a collision course." The radio squawked, "No, you are to turn 10 degrees South." This exchange happens about 3 or 4 more times until finally, the admiral yells into the radio, saying, "Do you ...
A quick math question
Alright, so here's quick math question for ya:
So there's two trains. The first train is traveling at *exactly* 90 miles per hour from Plotopia heading due west. There is a clown standing atop it. He is holding a grenade. (And yes, his billowing pants and rainbow-dyed afro-wig *are* affecting...
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