UPJOKE
torpedosamuraipilotfighterwakasuicidesubmarineworld war iifighter aircraftphilippinesfuelbombermanilamilitarydestroyer

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It's only kamikaze if it came from the Kamikaze region in Japan...

Otherwise it's just plane suicide.

What did the instructor at the school for Kamikaze pilots say to his students?

Watch closely. I’m only going to do this once.

What did the kamikaze flight instructor tell his students?

I'm only gonna show you this once

Why were kamikaze flyers a bad weapon?

Because all the good ones died in practice.

My father was a kamikaze pilot in his youth

Not a very successful one, obviously.

A kamikaze teacher explains to his students:

Students pay attention I will show you once.

Kamikaze pilots had a lot of potential.

But it turned out they were all one hit wonders.

A Kamikaze pilot is teaching a bunch of students and he says...

“Look carefully I’m only going to do this once”

A Kamikaze pilot spoke with his instructor...

"I keep missing the ships, I need some help!"

And the instructor said, "OK fine, I'll show you how, but I'm only going to do this once..."

I learnt a boring fact about Kamikaze

Its just plain suicide

Kamikaze pilot instructor:

“OK, listen up, and listen up closely. I don’t want to have to repeat myself to you again tomorrow!”

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My Japanese friend just told me his great grandpa was a kamikaze pilot in WWII.

I wonder how many missions he flew?

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Did you ever learn about how the WWII Kamikaze pilots were chosen?

The bombing of Pear Harbor had been planned out a year in advance.

Until Japan put the plan into action they held studies on their pilots and soldiers

After some psychological tests they found the troops that were suicidal and were hoping being in war would get them killed

And ...

Kamikaze

It's a dying art

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My historian friend was telling me about how the Japanese would kamikaze when all else failed.

That's just plane suicide

I failed my job interview as a Kamikaze pilot today.

I probably shouldn't have asked for a pension.

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Japanese banks

The recent tsunami in Japan has badly affected the banking sector.

Origami bank has folded.

Sumo bank has gone belly up.

Bonsai bank has cut back some of its branches.

Karaoke bank has been put up for sale and is going for a song.

Analysts report that there is some...

Why are Kamikaze pilots so easy to train?

They only need to learn how to take off.

Did you hear the one about the suicidal kamikaze pilot?

Talk about work-life balance

Why was the kamikaze pilot so depressed?

He felt his life was heading for a downward spiral.

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I went for a Chinese last night and got chatting to the waiter.

He told me he lived in Japan during the war and was a Kamikaze pilot and his Code Name was 'Chow Mein'. I said "correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Kamikaze pilots sacrifice their own lives?"

To which he replied, "Yes but I was Chicken Chow Mein."....

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What happens when a kamikaze bomber blows up a chocolate peanut butter cup factory?

Reeses pieces

What’s the prerequisite for becoming a kamikaze pilot?

A fear of ejection.

Did you hear about the Stormtrooper who became a kamikaze pilot?

He survived 99 missions.

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Did you hear about the Jewish kamikaze pilot?

He crashed his plane onto his brothers scrap metal yard.

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Why, what, who?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does...

How do you divide by Zero?

By becoming a kamikaze and splitting a ship in half

My grandfather was in the air force in the Second World War, surviving over 30 combat missions in hostile airspace.

He was by far the worst pilot of the entire Kamikaze corps.

Man, my Grandfather was such a great pilot.

He returned from almost 15 Kamikaze missions! God bless him

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A bird in hand.....

So there was this farmer, his son, and the only animal on their farm that survived the winter: a duck.

One day, a farmer is sits down to pay some bills, when he realizes he's falling short of some money. Racking his brain for a bit, he finally decides to sell of the family's last duck, in ex...

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