I hate how H and B are so close together on the keyboard.
I SWEAR I just wanna hang.
Today it became clear to me that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on the keyboard.
This is why I'll never be ending an email with 'Regards' ever again.
Why are the trees planted so close together in Paris?
So the Germans could march in the shade.
What’s the difference between Christ and an oil painting?
It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
This joke nearly got me kicked out of the choir.
I think skiing is rather suspicious
>!Its i's are too close together!<
To Honor Congressman Louie Gohmert. Texas Aggie
Dude graduates from Texas A&M school of Agriculture, goes into a farm supply store and orders two hundred chicks, explaining to the owner that he wants to start a chicken farm. Two weeks later, he returns to the store and buys another two hundred chicks. The owner is curious, but doesn't s...
Two medicine students were sitting on a bench...
Two medicine students were sitting on a bench when they saw an old man walking along the road.
The man seemed to have some sort of disability because he had his legs unusually close together and when we walked he dragged one foot along the road.
The medicine students, taught to come t...
Raising a family is hard.
It's a lot easier if you're a necromancer and they're buried close together.
Two musicians, violating social distancing
I was annoyed to see two musicians together today, violating social distancing. They were counting: one repeated "1 2 3, 1 2 3,"…; the other, "1 2 3 4 5, 1 2 3 4 5,"… "Hey!", I said, "It's unsafe, so close together!" "No worries", they replied, "we have two meters between us."
A man decides he wants to run a farm
A man decides he wants to run a farm.
He goes to the farm store, and orders 300 baby chicks from the manager.
The next week, he comes back and orders 300 more chicks. The store just thinks that his farm is doing well, and sells them to him.
Again, the next week, the man comes in...
A farmer walks into a farm supply store...
...and says to an employee, "You know, when I bought my farm it had a coop for chickens but I've never had any. I think I'd like to start raising some so what do I need?"
The employee walks him over to the area with the chicken supplies and gets him started with bedding for the coop, heat la...
A month ago my friend came to me and asked if he could borrow $2000
He told me he wanted to start a chicken farm, and needed the cash to buy some chickens to get it started. He said he would pay me back in no time, so I agreed and gave him the money. 2 weeks later he showed up again, asking for another $2000. He told me the first batch of chickens had all myste...
One small step for Man...
Neil Armstrong was asked... when you stepped on the moon... in that enormous moment... how did you come up with the saying... “ One small step for man, and one giant leap for mankind”... What an incredible quote!!!
He said I never said that!!
I actually said “One small step for man ...
A man goes into a local animal store
He asks the clerk for 50 baby chicks. Pleased with his purchase, he goes home to raise them. Two weeks later, the man is back again. He asks the clerk for 50 more baby chicks. The clerk says "Wow sir, it seems as if you're having a great success with your farm!" The man then responds, "Actually, I'm...
Marriage is like a fire.
If you put the logs too close together the fire grows too hot and burns out quickly. If you put the logs too far apart the fire goes cold. The trick is having the logs just the right distance apart.
And every once in a while you have to use your poker.