My favourite joke to perform. Terrible accent recommended.
Pierre, zee French fighter pilot is with his amour.
"Oh, Pierre, I want you to kiss me", she exclaims.
And so he tilts her chin up and leans in, but just before he plants a kiss on her lips, he pours a little red wine on them, and then goes in for the kiss.
"Oh, Pierre, mon di...
My wife started crying about her weight while we were eating our lunch.
I said, "Chin up love."
She said, "Thanks babe. I'm glad I have you to support me."
I replied, "No, I mean pull your chin up. It's in your soup."
I remember one time when by dad came home from work, absolutely beaming with happiness
I asked "Why are you do happy, Daddy?"
"Well kiddo, today at work Daddy's boss called him into his office, and invited him to go golfing with some of the other big boss men at the company. I shot the best game of my life, and after I got a hole in one on the last hole, my boss told me I was ...
To all you beautiful girls, Happy Valentine's Day!
To all your fat girls, chin up, it's Pancake Day next week!
A Russian, a French and a German tourist walk through New Guinea...
...when, suddenly, a cannibal tribe emerges from the jungle and attacks them. They're caught and brought to the village, where the tribe's chief walks out.
"Ah," he says, "nice to meet you! Now, we'll eat you, of course, that's our tradition, but it's nothing personal, I don't want you to thi...