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Championships Jokes

I recently took part in the World Innuendo Championships

It wasn't long before I got pulled off

The Origami world championships are live on TV this year.

It's only available on pay per view though.

Al Pacino is to star in a new movie about a man who wins the World Knitting Championships...

Its called 'Scarf Ace'.

What could be the reason for separating male and female chess championships?

In case they mate

Did you hear that they're broadcasting the World Origami Championships?

It's on paper-view.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can’t believe I have finally made it to the ejaculation distance championships

I have come a long way to make it here.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Blind Masturbation Championships

Went to the blind masturbation championships the other day.

No idea where I came.

Due to lack of professional sports, ESPN televised the World Origami Championships.

It was paper view.

Did you hear about the man who won the World Handjob Championships?

It was close, but he managed to beat off some stiff competition

I was looking forward to watching the World Origami Championships today

Totally gutted when I found out that it was on paper view only.

Why didn't I play in the Woman's world chess championships?

Because I ran

Last week I competed in the World Tanning Championships..

I came out with a Bronze..

With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the 'World Origami Championships'

It's on paperview

Why did Toronto host the (hockey) World Junior Championships?

They wanted to see what a winning team looked like.

“Sarcasm doesn’t get you anywhere “

Me: well it got me to the sarcasm world championships in Peru 98

“Really “

Me: No

So the 2017 World Chess Championships are being held in Iran. There's going to be some rule changes:

Queens won't be able to move without the king's permission, and bishops will face summary execution for spreading the word of the false prophet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend has just got back from a trip to Vegas.

He was in the world erection championships and got all the way through to the the semi's.

He also had a go in the blindfolded wanking, but isn't sure where he finished.

A man walks into a bar

and is immediately disqualified from the Limbo World Championships.

Ricardo was a young Italian man.

He lived in Milan. On his 16th birthday his father Antonio, in a rite of passage, gave him a hunting rifle that was a family heirloom. The rifle had been handmade by Antonio’s father who founded the Rolle Carabiner Company after World War II.

Ricardo cherished the rifle and he practiced with...

What are we to do with all the canceled sporting events?

They're going to televise the world origami championships live... On "paper view"!!!

Same old cow

My wife and I went to the ploughing championships and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

' **"THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR"**

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs .....Smiled and ...

I used to rule the world.

I was 7-time champion in chess championships, won count less awards in racing world, led armies of millions. But then my son broke the computer.

Imagine you were friends with Oasis lead singer, Liam Gallagher.

You two grew up together and were the best of friends. That friendship was like no other.

You both bonded over many things, but the hobby you both got into was baseball. You’d both play catch, practice your pitches, and even went to watch pro games together.

During high school, y...

In 1988 Enzo Anselmo Ferrari, after living a full life, died.

When he got to heaven God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a small Ferrari flag in the window. "This house is yurs for eternity, Enzo," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
Enzo felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his...

I hate to be a bad loser

A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the Huron River Breast Stroke Championships. The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing hope, the blond...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Suitable for British consumption

I just heard the UK strawberry picking championships has been won by a woman with no legs. Jammy cunt

I've known Paul for years

He's always been such a nice guy. In middle school, our teachers would always ask if he finished his homework. Paul would hold up his homework and say yes. During lunch, kids would always ask if they could sit with him, and Paul would say yes. A kid would ask if he's trade his pudding cup for an app...

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