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What do you call the women's Wimbledon finals?

2 Girls 1 cup

What do you call it when a sixty year old man suddenly starts reading the Bible?

Cramming for finals.

A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.

The man says, "Who would ever miss the World Cup final?”

The guy replies, "Well that was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.”

The man says back, "That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another close family member to come wi...

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A college teacher said this about the finals tomorrow.

She said "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tommorow. I might consider something like a car crash, or trump wins, but that's all. A student in the back of the room asked "What if i was suffering from complete sexual exhaustion?" The whole class laughed, but was silenced ...

Thousands of people have made it to the finals of the world limbo championship

Apparently the bar was set too high

British teenager Emma Raducanu has just won $2.5m by winning the US open final

Sadly she needed 2 band-aids and a bandage for a cut on her leg in the last game, so she still owes about $25k

Betty White Has Passed Away…

The Queen and Keith Richards move on to the Finals

I’m in the World Thumb Wrestling finals.

We’ve been deadlocked in competition for the past 15 hours. Given how worn out our thumbs are, the judges have ruled we play sudden death with our big toes.


This will end in defeet.

The chemistry final make up exam.

There were four University sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an A so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday an...

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A good one for those of you finishing up finals.

4 buddies are seniors in college and all 4 of them have 4.0 GPAs and are majoring in biology. Even though their last final is on Monday, they decide they wanted to go to the all girls college across town and party until Saturday night, come back Sunday, study all day, and take the exam on Monday. Wh...

NBA Finals

It's Game 7 on the NBA Finals, and an excited man makes his way to his courtside seat. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there.

"No,’ says the neighbour. "The seat is empty."

"That is insane," said...

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Once there was a women's bowling team. Everyone on the bowling team was so-so at bowling, with the exception of two women.

One of the two women was named Martha. Martha was absolutely abysmal at bowling. Every single game, she got at least nine gutter balls.

The other woman was Linda, and she was the best player who had ever set foot in the bowling alley. Every time the team won a bowling match, Linda was r...

2 girls walk out of the locker room at the NBA finals tonight. . .

One looks at the other and says "I can't believe I just blew 15 Bucks in there"

I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals.

Sadly, no pun in ten did.

Finals in college are a lot like plastic surgery

walk in with A's and leave with D's.

The finals of any sport World Cup is like cows on an airplane.

The steaks have never been higher.

Studying for finals is like playing Tetris

just when you seem to get the facts to fit together, all that you thought you learned disappears.

The chemistry final exams

A chemistry student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How did your finals go?" the bartender asks. "Not so hot," the student replies. "The instructor asked my class to write 1000 words on acid. Unfortunately, I was unable to complete it as my pen turned to a gorilla and the floor melted."

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Frustrated Class Finals

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A sma...

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Two Roman kids are talking about the scores on their finals.

Kid 1: Ugh, what did you get bruh

Kid 2: Not bad. How bout you?

Kid 1: I got a C on it.

Kid 2: You fucking try hard!

At the national poetry contest finals,...

The final two contestants were a harvard educated english professor and a redneck from the hills of Alabama. The final task was to write a 4 line poem containing the word timbuktu. Each finalist was given 5 minutes to come up with a poem

After they were given some time to think, the finals ...

Stressed over finals? That's fine.

Just make sure your suicide note is in MLA format.

I tried very hard to pass my culinary school finals

But I'm still constipated.

I tried to think about a joke about my finals.

But I failed

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