The 141+ Best Final Jokes

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A woman was on the way to winning $100,000 on a game show, but her final question was suspended for the next night.

Her husband sneaked into the studio and found the question and answer. He raced home and told his wife "Your question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy', and the answer is 'The head, heart and penis.'

The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgettin...

As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th and final season...

I would LOVE to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.

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Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude in a garden, while a sexy and beautiful big breasted nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down ...

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2 college students accidentally miss the math final exam

The next day they both went to plead with their
professor. He was feeling pretty good that day so he allowed them to retake it. He told them to both come back tomorrow for an oral exam. When they both showed up he told one of them to wait outside while he tests the other. So one enters and the ot...

A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.

The man says, "Who would ever miss the World Cup final?”

The guy replies, "Well that was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.”

The man says back, "That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another close family member to come wi...

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A college professor reminds her class of the next day’s final exam saying, “I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever"

A guy sitting at the back asks, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, and says, “Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”

There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.

They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.

The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."

The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.

The old country man then goes, "Tim...

What do you call an American in the world cup final.

Ref

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A final CIA test for three men

An American, a Russian and a Bosnian man get to the final test to be admitted to the CIA. An American enters a room where he sees his wife Jennifer. A voice says: " There is a gun on the table, your last test is to kill your wife, no questions asked." American points the gun, but after a while gives...

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A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people...

At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death.

Before he faces his sentence, he's offered a last meal, and asks for a single banana, which is given to him. The next day, he's led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch, and... nothing hap...

They finally did it, Reddit has made impossible for blind people to moderate their sub with the api changes. This is their last statement from r/blind

"H dhei osndhsjbw siso is koqp odjd jsoa JD djs sis ikksbs"

(I am sorry for this horrible joke and I really hope things may work out for you)

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Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska, as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it, and a huge, bearded man is standing there. “Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Hav...

Trump might finally get what he wants the most

He might get to be president for the rest of his life.

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God decides it’s finally time to send Jesus back to Earth.

*poof* All of a sudden, Jesus finds himself on the side of a road in the middle of rural America. He sticks out his thumb for a ride and before long a man in a truck stops to give him a lift.
Not revealing his true identity, Jesus thanks the man for stopping.

Jesus: Wow thank you sir, so ...

For Valentine's Day, my wife finally fulfilled a fantasy of mine when dressed up as a nurse.

At last, I got to roleplay having access to healthcare.

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A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom, I have someone for you to meet!

Well, it was an immediate hit.

They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain.

Their first night there, she undressed as he did.

There she stood nude, except for a pair of black panties, he in his birthday suit.

Lo...

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[Nsfw] My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star Wars role play in the bedroom...

...The only catch was I had to be Obi Wan, because she always had a thing for Ewan McGregor.

"Of course!" I said, and got to work putting together the sexiest Obi Wan costume I could. I even managed to find Glow in the Dark condoms so I could impress her with my "lightsaber".

The nigh...

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Guy has a tapeworm in his intestine and tries many doctors but everybody fails to remove.Finally he tries an alternative doctor whom everybody recommended heavily and visits him.

The doctor says: Come back tomorrow with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The patient is confused but does as he’s told.

The next day he shows up with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The doctor proceeds to insert both bananas and the Snickers bar up the man’s ass.

The doctor then says ...

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A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where
they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet
at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive.
The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years ...

I guess China finally got what they want

They managed to coronise the world.

I finally found my wife’s G-spot.

Turns out, it’s in her sister.

Finally a smart blonde joke

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz...

An older man is finally able to leave the Soviet Union in the late 1980s for the first time in his life.

His wife and son have already left and settled in the States, and he's finally able to go and join them.

On his way out through the Soviet border, the guard looks through his luggage and finds a bust of Lenin.

"What is this?" he asks.

"Don't ask me *what* this is, ask me *who* ...

A French, a German and an Italian spy are captured one day. The captors grab the French spy, take him to the next room and tie his hands behind a chair. They then proceed to torture him for 2 hours before he finally cracks, answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets.

The captors then grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair in the next room too and torture him for 4 hours before he finally cracks and tells them what they want to know.

They then grabbed the Italian spy. Once again, they tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing.4 h...

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By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

**"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]

Edit1: a typo

Edit2: thanks for the gold humorous stranger!

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Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. Delighted, the genie says "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes."

The first guy immediately shouts out "I want a billion pounds." *POOF*, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50 The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." *POOF*, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now wel...

I was going to finalize my research as to why vaccines are bad today

But all of the research sites are down.

Finally today a girl kissed me

I wish I could post it in another subreddit :(

British teenager Emma Raducanu has just won $2.5m by winning the US open final

Sadly she needed 2 band-aids and a bandage for a cut on her leg in the last game, so she still owes about $25k

I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother.

It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

Four students plan to arrive late to their final exam so they can take it the next day

By the time they arrive the exam is almost over, so they head over to the professor to ask if they can take it the next day. They tell him they tried their best to come on time, but their tire blew out and it took too long to replace it.

The professor tells them, "Don't worry about it. You ca...

I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football.

Nobody expects the Spanish in position.

I finally got an A on my essay!

Only 1999 more words to go.

I finally figured out what’s wrong with my brain.

On the left side, there is nothing right.

On the right side, there is nothing left.

Trump Finally Gets His Parade

One of Trump's aide says to him, "Sir, I had a dream you got your parade. It was miles and miles long winding through Washington DC. Joyful Americans lined the route, literally in the millions. People were laughing, cheering, playing in the street. You were riding in the most beautiful carriage."...

Genie: What is your final wish?

Boy: I wish I were you!

Genue: Weurd but alrught.

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I was at the bar waiting to finally meet a girl that I'd been chatting with on the internet when I got a tap on the shoulder.

“Are you Steve?" the woman asked with a smile.

“You're fucking gorgeous!" I burst out in delight. "Yes, I am Steve.”

“Great," she replied. "There's some fat bitch over there looking for you!"

A guard asks a woman on death row what she’d like for her final meal.

“idk, what do you want?”

I failed my final exam on Greek mythology.

It's always been my Achilles elbow

Ok - I finally understand my life.

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other te...

I've finally stopped drinking for good.

Now I drink for evil

Today is the final countdown...

4-3-21

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A woman in her 70s decided it was finally time to get married.

She put an add out in the newspaper. "Husband wanted. Must not beat me, must not walk all over me, must still be good in bed"

She got many applicants but after a few weeks she didn't find anybody suitable. She was about to give up, when she heard her doorbell ring. She opens the door to...

The chemistry final make up exam.

There were four University sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an A so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday an...

my wife finally agreed to a threesome, on the condition that she picks the girl

i replied "nah, honey, i'm gonna pick both of them"

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally

caught him by the organ.

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[Final Cake Day joke] A 70 year old man goes into a brothel. He picks out a young pretty woman, ....

... they go up to her room, strip down and climb into bed.

The old man performs like a teenager, the prostitute is amazed at how energetic and agile he is, she tells him if he can do it like that again, she'll give him one for free.

He says "Yeah, I can, but I need to tak...

Finally unsubscribed from r/nostalgia

The posts there just aren't what they used to be.

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I've been reading so much about the bad effects of smoking, drinking and sex that I've finally decided

To give up reading

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion...

Scientists have finally figured out what happened to all the water that used be Mars

Turns out, the planet was once occupied by Nestle

A man finally gets a job as a Wal-Mart greeter...

So I finally landed a job as a Wal-Mart greeter, and about two hours into my first day on the job a loud, mean, and unattractive woman enters the store with her two children, yelling obscenities at them the whole way.

Per my greeter instructions, I pleasantly said, "Good Morning and welcome t...

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Final exam at the FBI

Three men isolated from each other are sitting in a room. The examiner goes to the first man: "Go into the room in front of you, there is your girlfriend inside. She comitted a war crime. Take the gun and kill her." He goes inside and after 10 minutes he came out and said: "Im sorry, i can't do this...

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch.

He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there.

"No," says the neighbour. "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and ...

I finally, after 35 years, have made my own two line joke

What’s a gooses’s favorite vegetable?

Asparagoose.

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A girl I know said the last time she had sex, it was like the men's Olympic 100m finals

I laughed, "Over in 9.5 seconds?"

"No," she said,

"Eight black men and a gun."

What do you call a kid who finally stood up to the bullies?

An ambulance.

When I am on my death bed surrounded by my friends and family my final words will be

"You guys want to see a dead body?"

After 37 years I’m finally ready to retire with $5,000,000 I’ve accumulated through hard work, careful saving, living a life of simple means...

...and the death of an uncle who left me $4,999,996.50

John finally decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend.

One evening, after their honeymoon, he was welding some stuff in the garage, just for fun. His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally spoke................. "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it's time yo...

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I will never forget my grandfather's final words

"Stop shaking the ladder you little shit!"

I have finally punched my membership card into Dad jokes!

So last night my 12 year old son and I are watching the Little League World Series. The pitcher for the Nevada team has a last name of "Kryszczuk". My son looks to me and asks "Do you think he's Russian?"

My response: Nope, it looks like he's taking his time.

It took him a couple of...

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Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man in a monastry in Tibet. He finds him red-robed and shaven-headed sweeping the temple courtyard.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." he says, drawing the six-fingered sword

The six-fingered man sighs and lowers his arms "I am prepared, my son. I have been freed from Earthly desires and acheived inner peace. I wish for nothing more than to move on to m...

I finally came up with an original joke!

Does anyone know if there's a subreddit for it?

A man is sitting alone at the World Cup Final when another guy approaches him.

He asks 'Is this seat taken?'

The man replies 'No it's free'

The other man says 'Who would miss their chance to see the World Cup Final??'

The man replies 'It's actually my wife's, she passed away and this is my first World Cup without her.'

'Oh man, you didn't find any f...

I finally caught her.

I jumped into a cab and asked the driver to follow my wife's car. From a safe distance, I saw her turn into the motel parking lot. I told the cabbie, "I'll pay you an extra $100 if you go in there and bring her out."
Without hesitating, he jumped out of the car and trotted to the motel. After a f...

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An old Jewish man was finally allowed to leave the Soviet Union, to emigrate to Israel.

When he was searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official found a bust of Lenin.

Customs: What is that?

Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don't say "What is that?" say "Who is that?" That is Lenin! The genius who thought up this worker's paradise!

The official laughed...

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Guy dies and goes to Heaven and God grants him a final wish. He tells God, "I've never won in Vegas." God winks and says, "Okay! Let's go." And God snaps his fingers and - poof! - God and the guy are at a blackjack table at Bellagio Casino on the Strip.

God gives the guy $100,000 in chips and says, "Bet it all." The guy shrugs and puts up all the chips and the dealer deals him an 19 - against the dealer's 6. God says, "Take a card." The guy says, "Hit a 19 against a bad hand?"

Gods insists. "Take a card." The dealer deals him a 2. The guy sa...

After years of marriage, I've finally learned the ultimate secret to keep a woman satisfied in bed...

Let her keep sleeping.

Finally my winter fat is gone

Now I have spring rolls

I finally found my wife's G-spot!

Who would have thought her sister had it the whole time?

As Epstein swayed back and forth, coming to grips with the inevitable, he reached out to give the guard one final high five...

But he just left him hanging.

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CIA final test

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background
checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists:
two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of
the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you w...

All my life I had wanted a Geiger counter but never knew why until I could finally afford one.

Then it clicked

What was the painting's final words?

"First they frame me, then they hang me."

After nearly a month of trying, my wife finally told me that she is pregnant.

She has the worst stutter ever.

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i finally got my first role in a porn movie!!!

I'm the husband leaving for work.

The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours.

The blacksmith instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.”

The apprentice did just as he was told. Now he’s the village blacksmith.

The wife's weight gain, through overeating and laziness, had become the final straw in an already strained relationship and I decided I would just have to kill her.

I hid in the kitchen, knowing it wouldn't be long before she turned up looking to raid the fridge. And sure enough, she soon came waddling in.

I leapt out from behind a cupboard, arm raised, brandishing a huge knife..

"OH MY GOD!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "Are we havi...

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As of today, I'm finally not a 25 year old virgin anymore.

I'm a 26 year old one.

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After weeks of practice, I finally beat my record for how far I can shoot my jizz.

I can’t believe how far I’ve come.

What do you say, when you finally find out the Earth isn’t flat?

That’s a relief

The crowd was tense with excitement as the final three Samurai faced off;

After a long day of competing it was the final round of competition to find who was indeed the master swordsman.

In a final challenge the three men had to show their prowess and concentration by slicing the finest of targets, a mere fly.

The first Samurai steps up to the stage a fly is...

The chemistry final exams

A chemistry student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How did your finals go?" the bartender asks. "Not so hot," the student replies. "The instructor asked my class to write 1000 words on acid. Unfortunately, I was unable to complete it as my pen turned to a gorilla and the floor melted."

We hoped for a good clean World Cup Final.

But instead we got a Messi one.

Congrats to Argentina.

A wealthy billionaire dies, and his final wish is to be buried with his money.

So, at the funeral reception, the widow is speaking with guests when the matter of the billionaire's last wish comes up. The widow confirms that she honored her late husband's request.

A friend says to the widow, "You really buried him with billions of dollars?!", and the widow replies, "O...

My brother always lies, today he finally admitted to being a pathological liar

Yeah, like I'm falling for that

I'll never forget my Dad's final words

"Son, toss me that hatchet"

I finally crossed running a marathon off my bucket list

No chance I was ever going to do it, glad it’s gone.

I'm so excited to finally get a dad bod

It's the first time I've ever had a father figure

Maybe the Pope just wants to finally get married.

Or settle down with a couple of kids.

Why did Jabeur lose the U.S. Open Tennis final?

She was Iga to play, but she just couldn't turn it ons.

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A chemistry professor is giving his final exam...

... he says on the friday before the final, "If you miss the final you have to have a great excuse for missing the final next monday." Two students decide to study together all weekend so all friday night they study, all saturday morning and night they study, then they study all sunday morning and d...

I was taking my English final and they asked “Write the past tense of ‘Think'”.

I thought and thought about this for ages.

Eventually, I went for ‘Thunk’.

An airline employee makes the final boarding call for a flight.

After she finished the announcement, she spots a man running down the concourse towards the gate. He runs through the boarding area, hurdles a row of empty chairs, and stops at the podium, almost out of breath.

"You just made it!" she says. "Do you have your boarding pass?"

"Oh, thi...

A young boy finally works up the courage to ask a girl to prom...

She says yes, to his surprise and he starts to prepare to make the night as memorable as he can for the both of them.

First, he decides he needs to rent a tuxedo. He finds a local shop that does rentals, since he doesn't want to buy one. The line at the clothing store is almost out the door....

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A Florida man dies and goes to a waiting area for his final destination.

As he awaits, he spots his best friend within the crowd and cannot believe it. He approaches his buddy and starts a conversation

“Cooch, is that you buddy? Holy shit! It is you! What are you doing here?”

“Hey Willie” says the man with barely any expression on his face.

“What ar...

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A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on it's final approach.

The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto".

He forgot to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The ...

Finally they named the book about the Titan Submarine.

20,000 Leaks Under the Sea

I finally understand how batteries feel

Because I'm rarely ever included in things either.

Scientists finally located the gene that causes shyness

It was hiding behind two other genes.

I've finally reached an age old enough to buy an "adult" inflatable.

I brought it home and unpackaged it. I carefully read the instructions, ran my hand over the material. It was a strange feeling. I didn't expect I'd ever reach the point of using one. I fiddled with it a bit, then checked the hole. The thing was wide enough for my whole arm! But I inflated it anyway...

A man on his deathbed is telling his friend his final wishes

Man: I have two final wishes

Friend: what are they?

Man: firstly I'd like my remains scattered over Disney Land

Friend: and?

Man: secondly, I don't want to be cremated.

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes...

"Oh." said the counselor. "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

My 14-year-old daughter has finally met her online boyfriend in real life.

Must be big love, haven't seen her for weeks.

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What were the final words of the pirate who died taking a piss?

R I P

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My buddy signed up for one of those, "learn to be a plumber in 6 weeks" courses you see on TV and his final exam was at 9am today...

He showed up at 3pm, looked at the test paper and said, "Looks like I'm gonna need a pen for this job. I'll have to pop round to my suppliers for one. Be right back."

Graduated top of his class...

Aliens finally visit Earth.

They come in peace and surprisingly , they speak English.

Obviously, all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the Pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?"
...

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Two college students have their most important final exam next week...

But they've chosen to spend the week partying instead. So, in their drunken stupour, after realising how badly they messed up, they beg their professor to give them an extra day for the exam. Even though sceptical, they told him that they had a flat tire on the way to university and couldn't reach c...

My book on clocks finally arrived.

It's about time.

Scientists finally found out, how much sleep humans exactly need:

just five more minutes

Finally got out of jail. Less than 10 minutes after gettin home, me and the wife jumped straight into bed to do some serious catching up....

Wife: "hey.... erm.... ya know..... I... I've been with other men ya know?"

Me: "Ohhhh, ok. Well same here, turn over"

Finally quit my job at the lumber yard

I was so tired of doing all of the work because nobody else wood.

There was a guy in a hospital, and finally woke up.

The guy said, “damn i cant feel my legs.” The doctor said to him, “well thats because we amputated your arms.”

When I was young, I set a life goal for myself: I will buy a Lamborghini at the age of 40. This year, I’ve finally achieved half of the goal.

I turned 40.

little johnny finally got to the third date....

and knowing the reputation of the girl he was seeing, knew that he would "get lucky" on this one... so off to the drug store he goes to get a condom.
"i got a hot date tonight and i need a condom!" he tells the employee there, who hands it over almost immediately...
"that'll be a dollar,...

After several visits to the doctor's I've finally been referred to rehab for spending all my days smoking drugs and looking up jokes about cheese.

Hopefully I can kick my addiction to meth and feta memes.

Finally made it to the court of the Crimson king

Waste of time. All I did was talk to the wind

Putin's War has resulted in waiting lists in Russia again, just like the old USSR. A couple finally got approved to get a new car. "Your car will be ready in one year, five months and 23 days." "Morning or afternoon?" "What difference does that make?"

"The plumber is coming in the morning."

Why did Justin Trudeau finally take action on the housing shortage?

He started shopping for an apartment.

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There was a couple who explored kinky sex but they finally decided they liked “oral” more than “foot fetish.”

They were “head over heels” in love.

My 8-years old finally came up with a good joke after many bad ones.

Him: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: Why?

Him: To get to some idiot's house.

Him: Knock knock.

Did you hear that OJ Simpson finally confessed?

Yep. They squeezed it out of him.

After 50+ years of "Why did the chicken cross the road?" jokes, someone finally decided to just ask the chicken.

The chicken looked up, clucked twice, and said "What's a road?".

A general is inspecting the drydock where an advanced prototype is in the final stages of commissioning.

The project manager excitedly explains how the attack submarine will be much faster than an enemy due to an innovative design which drastically reduces drag forces. The general asks how progress is coming along.

The manager replies, “The propulsion system is complete, I think it's ready for ...

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I just took my Pornography 101 final exam. It wasn't hard.

I failed

Finally after two weeks of fruitless tracking through the jungle one of our local guides received word that tigers had been spotted just outside a neighbouring village.

Personally I'd been hoping for stripey ones but beggars can't be choosers.

So the Irish are playing against the English in the World Cup Final, being held in Paris.

Three Irish and three English fans are waiting at the airport to get the train to the stadium.

The three English fans go up to the ticket counter and buy one ticket each. The three Irish fans go up to the counter and buy only one ticket. The English fans see this and one asks the Irish, " Ho...

Finally found a good joke about trickle down economics.

I’m afraid most you you won’t get it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a guy finally gets out of prison..

And goes to visit a brothel. He's says the the madame " what do I get for £100?

She says" go into that room over there"

He walks in and sees a lovely looking lady and has a great time with her.

A week later he goes back and says "what can I get for £50?

She says go into ...

There were four guys who were in the final stages of interviewing for a prestigious job.

They were from Harvard, Yale, MIT, and Stanford. The company decided to fly them all in for dinner and a final interview.

Over dinner at a fine restaurant, the president of the company told the men that all were very worthy applicants, and that he wished he could hire them all, but that they ...

After years of Investing and Careful Trading I finally have a Six figure Portfolio thanks to Crypto.

Current Balance: $10.0001

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I finally got up the courage to go see a doctor about my four testicles.

He said: "You have a lot of balls coming in here

A man was on his death bed trying to say his final words before passing away

He lifted his head and asked : "is my wife, with whom I spent my best and worst moments here?", his wife held his hand and said with tears in her eyes and sadness in her voice "yes honey I'm here"

he took a deep breath, then lifted his head again and asked : "are my children, who have s...

I'm finally becoming an adult!

My leg hurts and I don't know why.

I finally got around to reading Stephen Hawkins’s last book.

It was about time.

She left the bar because after 45 minutes, the date finally arrived, and he was a gnome.

Too little, too late

DNA results have finally came back

Turns out I’m the murderer.

A Russian buys a newspaper, looks at it and throws it in the bin. And so for a whole week. The seller couldn't stand it and finally asked:

\- Why are you doing this?

\- I'm looking for an obituary.

\- But the obituaries are on the last pages...

\- The one I'm looking for will be on the first one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Father and son from Utah, both avid fishermen, finally decide to visit the British Isles

So they have a beer in London, bag of crisps in Birmingham, they enjoy a slice of the famous Chevington cheese in Newcastle, and as they slowly traveled Northward, they both get the urge to go fishing in the famous Scottish Lochs.

And so it came to pass, that in Glasgow, they bought a o...

After lots of revision, I finally got an A in my recent test.

the doctors were so shocked because last time I only got an O-.

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