I want to open an Indian restaurant that caters to the workingclass individual.

I'll call it Naan to Five.

Freddie Mercury offered to cater my wedding, so I asked him how many cakes he’d be making.

He said “I want to bake three.”

Did you hear about the new electronics store that caters to boats, jet skis and other watercraft?

It's called Best Buoy.

Did you hear about the new winter resort that caters exclusively to men with erectile disfunction?

It's called Lake Flaccid.

f(x) walks into a bar

The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't cater for functions".


f'(x) walks into a bar... Wait, isn't this the same joke? No, it's derivative humour.

A software salesman died and was greeted by St. Peter at the gate to heaven.

Upon examining the great book, St.Peter tells the salesman he has an equal number of good and bad things in his life’s history, so the choice of heaven or hell is his decision to make.

The salesman, hesitant to make such a momentous decision, asks if he can tour both places to assist him wit...

I set up a restaurant for overweight people

I'm trying to cater for a wide audience

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A masochist and a sadist once married..

They did not know what the other person was and like every happy married life, they did not talk about each other's feelings. The sadist hit the masochist in bed every night and the masochist cried out in happiness that his wife could cater to his needs without him asking for it. The marriage worked...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An old man was crying on a park bench

An old man was sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. Another man approached and said "Hey old timer, whats up"?

The old man says through his tears "Oh it's awful! Last month I won £1,000,000 on the lottery and I met a beautiful girl who is a topless model and 50 years younger than me! ...

Help! Performing in front of a deaf audience, and need an appropriate opening joke or two (plus my favorite three little pig joke)

Tomorrow I'm conducting a charity benefit for a large state wide deaf education foundation. I'll be in front of ~500 people talking. I Want at least one slightly edgy jokes that would cater to this sort of rich (and largely deaf) audience.

"Once upon a time, Three Little Pigs walk into a ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

a guy checks into a questionable hotel with his family

as they're checking in, he takes the desk clerk aside. he says, "listen I never stayed here before, I'm with my family, if theres any pornography in the room can you make sure it's disabled please?" the clerk looks at him and replies, "you sick bastard! the pornography in the rooms is regular and do...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A businessman goes to a brothel...

He asks the madam for an unconventional experience as he frequently uses prostitutes, and the whole process has become stale.

Twelve women come out, and the madam walks down the line explaining the fetishes they cater to. After each one, the businessman becomes increasingly annoyed, as there...

So I've been trying to sell my Ubermensch Action Figures...

But it's difficult to cater to such a Nietszche Market.