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Ply Jokes

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I’m ply-sexual.

I’ve only ever done it into quilted toilet paper.

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One ply toilet paper is the John Wayne of butt-wipe.

Every roll is the same: square, white, two dimensional, but rough as hell and don't take shit off nobody.

There is new innovation for single ply toilet paper

It features breakthrough technology

One ply toilet paper.

Get in touch with your inner self.

I was plying Pokemon GO in the park the other day

The craze of Pokemon GO may well have died off for most people but I still love it and play all the time.


I was in my local park the other day when my absolute favourite Pokemon appeared!
It was over by a group of girls so i tried to contain my excitement so I didn't draw attentio...

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Cardboard is a lot like 1-ply toilet paper. It's not really good at absorbing,

But it's really good at moving shit around.

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One-ply toilet paper is like seeing my uncle

At the end of the night, there's going to be a finger in my ass.

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Using one ply toilet paper is like reading mean Reddit comments.

Found the asshole.

My work replaced our regular toilet paper with single ply. Everybody hates it...

...Its really tearable.

.

.

part credit to Amb_33 (thanks).

The man who invented single-ply toilet paper

made a serious breakthrough.

So my brother works at a research facility. His employer only stocks the bathrooms with single ply toilet paper.

They say it leads to the most breakthroughs

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Why don't you mess with one-ply toilet paper?

It doesn't take shit from anyone

I’m really in touch with my inner self today.

Really need to buy 2 ply tissue.

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Do you ever wonder why large buildings like malls and hospitals only buy 1 ply toilet paper?

Prices matter when you buy it by the shit load

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A man on the verge of pooping into his pants rushes into a busy mini beach market

The only cashier in the small canopy-style store joyfully asks him:

\- Good afternoon sir, how can I help you?

\- I need some toilet paper please.

\- Ah, no worries, we have all kinds of toilet paper. Would you like 1-ply or 2-ply?

\- Uh... 2-ply.

\- Okay! Would yo...

What kind of tissues do mathematicians like?

Multi-ply

I called to the toilet paper manufacturer to complain about a dysfunctional layer of the product...

They wouldn't re-ply.

A physicist, an economist, and a mathematician decide to TP a house.

A physicist, an economist, and a mathematician decide to TP a house.

The physicist does some calculations and says, “We should buy 2-ply toilet paper in order to maximize kinetic energy.”

The economist thinks for a moment and replies, “But single-ply toilet paper would maximize the am...

A dating profile reads...

Single woman with Lysol and hand sanitizer seeking single man with two-ply toilet paper for good, clean fun.

Why are the Charmin bears so good at math?

They can multi-ply!

Oh man, damn it.

I’ve always thought I will discover my inner self through some eastern philosophies, not because of a stupid single-ply toilet paper from Walmart!

You gain appreciation for a lot of things in your old age...

Simple things that maybe you didn't realize you treasured before - that bring you comfort in their familiarity.

You come to cherish those little things. For me that thing is single ply toilet paper. When I use it, I feel whole again.

What is a math teacher's favorite kind of toilet paper?

The kind that has multi ply's.

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HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN:

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to,...

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There's a party in the Olympic Village one night...

... and from across the room, a sprinter sees a diver talking to the most beautiful woman that he has ever laid eyes on. Later in the evening, the sprinter approaches the diver to ask about her.

"I just can't get her out of my head!" the sprinter says. "I have to sleep with her! Who is she?"<...

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The genie.

A man and his wife were plying ping pong in their home, when the wife accidentally struck the ball too hard,
and it went into their neighbor’s open window and there was a sound of breaking glass from inside.


Nobody came out and there was no sign of the neighbor, so the couple thought ...

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