I once got in touch with my inner self

That's the last time I'll use 1 ply toilet paper

It was an overwhelming experience when I touched my inner self.

Anyway, I only use 4-ply toilet paper since then.

What do you do when you’re in a public bathroom and out of toilet paper ?

You ply for help.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do 2 tissues do before they have sex?

4-ply

I was plying Pokemon GO in the park the other day

The craze of Pokemon GO may well have died off for most people but I still love it and play all the time.


I was in my local park the other day when my absolute favourite Pokemon appeared!
It was over by a group of girls so i tried to contain my excitement so I didn't draw attentio...

What kind of tissues do mathematicians like?

Multi-ply

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) I just had my first experience with Anal

That's the last time I buy single-ply toilet paper.

Oh man, damn it.

I’ve always thought I will discover my inner self through some eastern philosophies, not because of a stupid single-ply toilet paper from Walmart!

So my brother works at a research facility. His employer only stocks the bathrooms with single ply toilet paper.

They say it leads to the most breakthroughs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN:

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to,...

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There's a party in the Olympic Village one night...

... and from across the room, a sprinter sees a diver talking to the most beautiful woman that he has ever laid eyes on. Later in the evening, the sprinter approaches the diver to ask about her.

"I just can't get her out of my head!" the sprinter says. "I have to sleep with her! Who is she?"<...

You gain appreciation for a lot of things in your old age...

Simple things that maybe you didn't realize you treasured before - that bring you comfort in their familiarity.

You come to cherish those little things. For me that thing is single ply toilet paper. When I use it, I feel whole again.

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One-ply toilet paper is like seeing my uncle

At the end of the night, there's going to be a finger in my ass.

Trump summons all his top aides to his office one day

He declares "This is a national emergency! Someone find me my important papers!'
The Secretary of Defense pulls out an urgent report on North Korea. "No not those you moron!"
The CIA director hands him evidence of an upcoming terrorist plot. He rips it in half and yells "No! You're fired!"
...

A physicist, an economist, and a mathematician decide to TP a house.

A physicist, an economist, and a mathematician decide to TP a house.

The physicist does some calculations and says, “We should buy 2-ply toilet paper in order to maximize kinetic energy.”

The economist thinks for a moment and replies, “But single-ply toilet paper would maximize the am...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The genie.

A man and his wife were plying ping pong in their home, when the wife accidentally struck the ball too hard,
and it went into their neighbor’s open window and there was a sound of breaking glass from inside.


Nobody came out and there was no sign of the neighbor, so the couple thought ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't you mess with one-ply toilet paper?

It doesn't take shit from anyone

What is a math teacher's favorite kind of toilet paper?

The kind that has multi ply's.

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