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Affluent Jokes

I once asked an affluent French baker how he'd managed to make so much money making bread. His answer:

Success baguettes success.

A mugger

Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this, I'm a United States Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the mugger, "gi...

what happens to a potato after the plot of soil it is growing in quadruples in value?

it becomes an affluent-tato

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New Job!!

A young guy living in Boston recently became unemployed and he immediately went to the nearest job center where he noticed a flyer pinned to the job board seeking a "Gynecologist's Assistant to work at a newly-built 'Soothing Approach Gynecology Center', no experience required".
He was very inter...

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Farmer John and his wife Mary lived on a big piece of land in the middle of Ohio.

They did pretty well for themselves, but as all affluent farmers will know, farming is not easy money. After a few years of living together and working very hard, their marriage started to fall apart. Being just as determined to keep their marriage together as they were to keep their farm running, t...

A doctor and a lawyer get into a car crash...

Both cars are badly damaged, but amazingly, neither of them are hurt. As the lawyer crawls out of her BMW, she sees that the other car is a Porsche. She says, "I see you're an affluent man, probably a doctor. I'm a lawyer... Gosh! Just look at our cars, there's nothing left, but fortunately we are u...

An officer pulls over a man and a woman for driving their late-model Mercedes coupe 20 miles per hour over the posted speed limit.

The officer approaches the car, seeing an affluent-looking late-50s gentleman behind the wheel and a striking woman at least 20 years younger—and bearing a diamond on her left ring finger worth at least a year of the officer's salary—in the passenger seat.

"I stopped you because you were goin...

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Most Delicious Meatball

A rich CEO decides to head over to Madrid, Spain for a vacation. Although he is very affluent, he decides to experience the culture by going to a local restaurant. Upon arriving, he says to the waiter, "I want the most expensive dish you have."


Minutes later, the waiter arrives with what ...

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The Tale of Three Heavens

Once upon a time, long long ago, in village far far away, there lived a fairly affluent merchant who lived a nice luxurious life in his spacious mansion. The merchant befriended a homeless man who lived in front of the gates of his mansion and often gave him food.

One day, the merchant n...

The Zoo Joke (Long)

So there's this zoo, and this zoo isn't very affluent, but, if someone visits the zoo, it is definitely to see their gorilla.

One morning, the workers come in early to open the zoo like normal and find, to their great sadness, that their famous gorilla has died of old age. The zoo staff are ...

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