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Cares Jokes

You can really see how much Trump cares about creating jobs in this country

The White House seems to always be hiring.

It’s my cake day and no one cares

I feel caked…pied….I mean desserted

I find it strange how everyone suddenly cares about straws killing dolphins...

They've been breaking camels' backs for years.

What do you call an ant that has no concerns or cares?

Nonchalant

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Use chemicals to remove polish and no one cares..

But use chemicals to remove Polish and you're literally Hitler.

5 things that no one cares about

1. Lists

If you think nobody cares if you're alive..

Try missing a couple of payments.

Who cares if you pee in the shower?

The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Who the heck cares about learning the Roman Numeral system?

I for one...

Who cares about a threesome

If I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I’ll go talk to my parents.

I finally found someone who cares as much as I do about providing sources for every claim.

It was love at first cite.

My dad really cares about me

He has been practicing social distancing for 20 years now

A girl tells her mom she’s dating the guy next door

The mom’s like “you can’t date him he could be your dad”

And the daughter is like “so there’s an age difference who cares”

“I think you misunderstood me”

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If you're questioning your sexuality...

You probably aren't thinking straight.

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Adoption agencies are sexist. Women adopt babies all the time and no one cares...

But a 40 year old man asks to adopt a 16 year old and suddenly you need to leave the premises immediately.

If you think no one cares about you...

Stop paying your bills and see how many people want to talk to you.

What do you call someone who keeps talking even if nobody cares?

A teacher

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Who cares if toilet paper is soft or not?

Only an asshole can tell the difference anyway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One dung beetle walks into a bar and nobody cares...

A hundred dung beetles walk into a bar and everyone loses their shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke on Reddit is like a penis. Nobody cares if it's short.

But if it's long, everyone knows it.

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When you’re 60 who cares?

I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen". I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."...

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NSFW A nurse is bathing a female patient who is in a coma..

A nurse is bathing a female patient who is in a coma when she notices that the patients heart rate and breathing increase whenever she cleans the genital area. She gets the idea that oral sex might actually revive her. She calls the patient's husband over and explains that oral sex might revive her,...

Nobody cares about global warming..

Not even polar bears, they're too busy learning how to swim.

What do you call a pachyderm noone cares about?

It's irrelephant.

Do you know what Mexicans think about Trump's wall?

Who cares, they'll get over it..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

No one cares if you go to the bathroom.

In fact, you are the only one who gives a shit.

If you ever feel as thought nobody cares about what you do

Just post something with a spelling mistake in it.

Donald trump said he cares more about the health and safety of the American public than he does about money.

Well *I* laughed when he said it.

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Nobody cares about the Jews

Hitler and his men are having a meeting,

Hitler: We will kill 6 million Jews and 1 clown.

Men: Why the clown?

Hitler: See! I told you nobody cares about the Jews!

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Put the lid down after you poop a thousand times and no one cares

But forget to lift it beforehand once and suddenly you're the bad guy

The 40 year old health care worker who cares for newborns started questioning her career choices, then flipped out and left town

I guess she was having a midwife crisis

I hate it when people publicly express their opinions needlessly, just seeking attention when nobody cares.

But that's just my opinion.

“I work with animals,” the man says to his date. “That’s so sweet,” she replies.

“I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?”

“I’m a butcher,” he says.

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One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell.

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell.

As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...

Satan: "Why so glum?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"...

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