A young Nun who worked for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, there was a gas station just one block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.




The attendant regretfully told her that the only gas can he loaned had just been loaned out, but if she would care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly.
...

What does dark humor and health care have in common?

Not everyone gets it...

Today our leaders closed of the southern border preventing people from coming to our country for a better life a better education and much needed health care!

As a Canadian I am outraged!

Thankful for all the health care workers during this pandemic

Without dem, it would be a panic.

The 40 year old health care worker who cares for newborns started questioning her career choices, then flipped out and left town

I guess she was having a midwife crisis

What is the difference between an American health care worker running out of PPE, and a Russian healthcare worker running out of PPE?

At least the American doesn't need a parachute too!

As an employee in the health care industry, I make it a point to keep up with all the latest medical news. Just the other day I read about a man who had the entire left side of his body amputated.

After that, he was alright.

Evangelists don’t need health care.

They’re on the single prayer system.

Health care is too expensive, I went to the hospital for complications from my diabetes

And It cost me an arm and a leg.

Circumcision is a serious operation that should be discussed at length between parents and health care professionals.

I couldn’t walk for an entire year after I got mine

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The American Medical Association has weighed in on Trump's proposed health care package to replace Obama-Care.

The Allergists were in favor of scratching it but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves and while the Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain that everyone w...

Don't worry about losing health care under the Trump administration

We won't need it after the EPA starts restricting oxygen

I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight...

to fulfill my fantasy that we have health care

Why God? Why?

One day a fellow was watching Fox News and learned about a new virus that was rapidly spreading and quickly killing those who got sick with it. The nightly news reports got worse and worse, this Covid-19 virus was spreading around the world and killing increasingly large numbers of people. But he wa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A congressman was seated in first class next to a little girl on an airplane.

He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the congressma...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Doctor is Always Right

A man wakes up feeling sick, so he goes to an urgent care center.  The doctor asks what his symptoms are, and he tells her, "I'm not sure - I'm just not right."

The doctor immediately replies, "I need a urine specimen."

The man is taken aback.  "Why do you need a urine sample?  You hav...

Long term pain

During a congress about health care, the speaker asks:
"which food causes extreme suffering, even after years of being eaten?"

After a long silence an elderly raises his hand and replies "A WEDDING CAKE"

I'm looking for a "friend with benefits"

Health Care at a minimum. Dental would be nice but not required.

Two Doctors and an HMO Manager Die and Line Up Together at the Pearly Gates of Heaven.

One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children."

St. Peter lets him enter.

The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped hundreds of people live better lives."

St. Peter tells him to go ahead inside.

The last man s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Queen's Surprise

The Queen of England is taking a tour of one of America's best hospitals. They are going through different areas, and occasionally meeting with some of the patients.

They walk into a room, and inside, a patient is intensely masturbating.

The Queen is shocked. "My heavens, what is the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW - The Queen is touring a prestigious hospital...

They come to the special care wing and she is utterly disgusted when she sees a nurse giving a male patient a hand job.

"What is the meaning of this?!" she screams.

"Don't fret, your Majesty. This man has a rare condition that requires him to ejaculate once every hour or he will go int...

So an African migrant is strolling down a sidewalk in Nuremberg.

He comes up to the first man he sees and says "Thank you, for allowing me to come to Germany. Thank you for giving me health care, and a place to live, and food to eat."

The man looks at him and says "I'm not German, I'm Albanian."

The African says "Oh, excuse me" and continues walkin...

A man works at an Aquarium

Technically it was a zoo/aquarium, but they got more people coming in for their aquatic animals, so they called it an aquarium.

Most notably among those, were their seals. The seals had been taught to do tricks at another aquarium before they'd been moved over. But at the time the aquarium ha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Filipino Friend

My Filipino friend Jhun, had a lot of weird stories this week.

He said his neighbour keeps leaving their small female child on his lawn..
He is somehow paying for his Health Care providers wedding?
And His oldest child told him his penis isnt working anymore.

Nevermind.. Appar...

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but....

Unaffordable health care keeps them at bay.

You should not vaccinate your children.

Get a health care professional to do it.

Shovels, Asses and Camels

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land." Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this ...

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