I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.

One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
...

The Geography of a Woman

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is li...

The ‘w’ in Africa stands for water

There is none

Why shouldn’t you play poker in the jungle in Northern Africa

Too many cheetas

A fella is on safari in Africa when he comes across an elephant.

It's lying on the ground in distress. He investigates and finds a thorn in its foot.


He removes it and the elephant happily trots away.
20 years later the man in standing in London watching a circus procession pass by.


When along comes an elephant, as it gets level...

What's the stupidest animal in Africa?

The penguin.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Japanese man decides to do some travelling in Africa

A few days into his journey, he came across a tribe not far from a large and dense rain-forest. The tribe leader was ecstatic that someone of Asian descent was at his tribe. They quickly exchanged names and the tribe leader offered to give a quick tour of the rain-forest nearby.

Sato was amaz...

Are you from Africa?

Cause African love you!

Numerous people in Africa are falling ill due to a lack of clean water above ground

I hope they 'get well soon.'

Have Uganda Africa yet?

Nah, but I was Ghana do that.

What part of the sleigh did Santa leave behind while he was passing through Africa?

He left the reigns down in Africa.

I’m gonna get downvoted for this one as it’s really inappropriate: Why can’t you gamble in Africa?

.
.
.
.
Too many Cheetahs.

What did Mario say when he arrived in Africa?

It's a me, Malario!

Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?

You shouldn’t take medicine on an empty stomach.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Nigerian king

Agnes, a middle-aged New York widow is feeling very lonely one day, so she decides to bite the bullet and try internet dating. Her initial attempts don't go very well, as most of the contact she receives varies from dick pics to guys asking for nudes. She's about to give up when one day she's contac...

Did you hear about the Italian who joined a religion in Africa?

He's a past'safarian now.

Why aren't there any vampires in Africa?

Because vampires are killed by holy water and they bless the rains down in Africa.

I was talking to a South African girl, in her native language, for hours.

We just clicked.

I want to hear 99 people sing "Africa" by Toto...

...It's something that a hundred men or more could never do

In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types.

But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.

A professor in South Africa is teaching her students how to form Emglish sentences.

“Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?”

One student raises their hand,

“The cheetah is faster dandelion.”

A suspected poacher was trampled to death by an elephant then eaten by lions in a South Africa safari park last week.

Some hunters claim their work is 'beneficial to the greater animal population'.

Well in this case I agree, those lions might have got a bit peckish otherwise.

How do you start a rave in africa?

Tie food to the ceiling

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Made this myself. I'm very proud

A priest is visited by Christ himself in his dream. The Son of God warns him that danger is coming his way, and his family will be at risk as well. The priest asks for guidance, and Jesus takes pity on him and says, "give your blessing to the droplets of my land." And with that, the priest wakes up....

My friend in Africa was complaining about the lack of drinking water in his village.

So I sent him a Get Well Soon card.

A little boy says, ‘Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her

Dad: That happens everywhere.

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN...

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure...

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
<...

What did Asia say when Africa was next in line?

Europe.

I don't get people who call it a first world problem when they can't charge their phones

African kids can't charge their phones either.

I feed and clothe a child in Africa for 30 cents a day.

Ofcourse that's nothing compared to what it cost to send him there

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Russian goes to Africa.

A Russian goes to Africa and is hanging out with the locals. He asks if they've ever played Russian roulette.

"We have our own version. There are six women. You pick one, and she gives you a blowjob."

"What's the danger in that?"

"One of them is a cannibal."

If vampires are hurt by holy water, why don’t priests just bless a storm cloud to kill vampires everywhere? But then I remembered why so many vampires are from Europe...

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.

Donald Trump goes to Africa in safari, but they only show him a photo of some wildebeests.

Fake gnus!

Why do so many robots live in Africa?

'Cause Botswana.

A man in Africa proposed to me on the first day we met...

It was a bit Sudan

A tourist in London was throwing bread to some ducks in a pond...

when a local woman approached him looking rather upset. She asked him how he could throw bread in the water for ducks when there were starving children in Africa? Wasn't it obvious that they could use that bread more than the ducks?

The man stood there for a short moment and responded to the ...

This is very sad, but did you know, every 60 seconds in Africa:

A minute passes

Why does Africa never win the Olympics?

Because it's a continent, dumbass.

My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with Africa...

Kenya believe it? I'm Ghana miss her!

Not many people realize that Afrin Nasal Spray was acually invented in Africa.

Probably a good thing it wasn't invented in Europe.

TIL Most of the world's coco is produced in Africa.

This is because of part of the continent's tropical savanna climate, particularly its precipitation. I love chocolate, so I'm really grateful for this.

Next time I eat a candy bar, I'll have to bless the rains down in Africa.

When I was in Africa, I decided to play a little pokemon go until a young black boy stole my phone and ran off with it.

Oh well,

Gotta catch Jemal!

What country in Africa has the most frat parties?

Chad.

What do you call it when Arnold Schwarzenegger remembers the lyrics to Africa

Toto recall

Hundreds of years ago, there was a European salt trader who was stranded in Africa

\[A more politically correct re-write of an earlier joke this week\]

&#x200B;

Hundreds of years ago, there was a European salt trader who went all over the world on his caravan selling his wares. One year as he was traveling through Africa, he was betrayed by his caravan and left f...

Why can't you gamble in Africa?

Because of the Cheetahs.

Building electirc vehicles is illegal in Africa,

So i Madagascar.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

"Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?" "Rhino!"

"We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it's not your turn!"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A lion was chasing Uncle in Africa

A Uncle was trying to impress his nephew

Uncle: You know, when I was traveling in African Savannah alone, I went close to a sleeping lion to photograph him.

Nephew: What happened next?

Uncle: The lion suddenly wakes up, and start chasing me.

Nephew: Wow, what happened ...

How south is South Africa?

South AF

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year..

..British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Brits, in the weeks that followed, a team of American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 fe...

What Africa Really needs

If only Africa had more mosquito nets

Then every year we could save millions

Of mosquitos from dying needless from aids

\- Jimmy Carr

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I was on a safari in Africa when I saw two male lions having sex with each other in the open.

I thought to myself, “Have they got no pride?”

Is Africa by Toto country music?

No it’s continent music.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A dog went on a backpacking trip to Africa and decided he'd spend a few days in the safari

During one of the days he got lost when suddenly he saw a tiger lurking in the nearby woods. Knowing he had no chance escaping the tiger, he rushed over to a nearby pile of old bones. As the tiger approached ready to devour him for breakfast, the dog turned its back to the tiger, resiliently stuck a...

I have a kid in Africa...

I have a kid in Africa and for only 37 cents a day he has a place to live, plenty of food, and all his shots.


The expensive part was flying him there.

The term "Every 60 seconds in Africa..." is really stupid

Everyone knows Africans don't get seconds, they're lucky if they get a single serving.

There's an entire country in Africa without any sit down restaurants.

That's why they named it Togo

What Pokèmon blesses the rains down in Africa?

Totodile

A cowboy walks into Africa

"What in starvation"

A man is on a photo safari in Africa, when he finds an elephant in distress, lying in the bushes. Upon inspection, he finds that the elephant has a large, sharp rock embedded in the bottom of its foot. He carefully pulls the rock free, and the elephant gets up and saunters away.

Almost a decade later he is back in his home town when a circus is visiting
and they put on a parade. The man is watching all of the animals go past, when
he notices, and makes eye contact with a large African elephant. The elephant
immediately turns toward the man, picks him up in its trun...

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.

One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'

The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend. 

"Which part did yo...

Travelling through the deepest darkest jungles of Africa with my man servant Jeeves ....

We broke through the dense undergrowth into a small clearing. There were eggs everywhere. I turned to Jeeves and said "This is obviously the work of poachers"

What does Africa hunger and a mercedes have in common?

Princess Diana couldn't stop either.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A woman decides to go on a photo safari in Africa. She takes her pet dachshund along for company.

One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies, and before long the little dog discovers it’s lost.

Suddenly the dog sees a hungry leopard bounding toward it. The dachshund thinks, I’m in deep trouble now!

But then it notices some bones on the ground and immediately settles down to ...

Why has Africa never won gold at the olympics?

Because Africa isn't a country.


Geez man, no need to be racist.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A black man walks into a bar...

A black man walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.

"That is really special," said the bartender. "Where did you get it?"

"Africa," replied the parrot.

Why was the baby in Africa crying?

It was having a mid-life crisis.

If you could have Bill Gates' wealth or cure all the suffering in Africa...

What colour Ferrari would you get?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Englishman an Irishman and a Frenchman travel to the jungles of Africa

...and came across a tribe of man eaters that also had a grasp of the English language. The tribe leader expressed that today was a good day for the trio as the tribe had defeated an enemy tribe, had finished feasting and were preparing to celebrate so they had the option of offering a body part for...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three people are on a jungle safari in Africa.

On the safari they get captured by cannibals. The cannibals tell them that they’ll let all three of them go if they perform two tasks.

The first task is to go out into the jungle and get six of the same fruit. They go out into the forrest. 20 minutes later, two of the three come back. The fir...

I took a trip to South Africa and met a Khoisan woman.

We really clicked.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Smart Dachshund

An rich old lady decides to go on safari in Africa, along with her little pet dachshund, Frankie.
They set up camp and it isn't long before Frankie begins to explore his new surroundings.
Suddenly he finds himself far from the camp and feels eyes on him. Up in a tree is a large jaguar, ready...

I told my friend I had been in Africa gambling with the natives. “Zulu’s?” He asked.

I said nope. I usually won.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If you're ever in Africa and come face to face with a lion, take one step sideways and then one step back. Repeating this process lets you move obliquely away from the lion...

...and prevents you from standing in your own shit.

What's the only positive thing in Africa?

HIV

A pilot is flying a small one-seater plane over southern Africa in 1960...

when suddenly, his navigation equipment stops functioning. Because he has a general idea of where to go, he decides to keep flying.

Several hours pass, and the pilot is getting worried. He's running low on fuel, and doesn't have any idea where he is. He decides that he will land at the next r...

A young missionary on his first term in Africa..

..was reading his bible in a clearing when a lion came up and laid down beside him. As he quietly prayed for deliverance, another lion came out of the bush and laid down on his other side. Convinced that this was a test of his faith, he returned to reading his bible. As soon as he did, the two lions...

Why is there no rain in South Africa?

They forgot to /toggledownfall.

They also forgot to make their server private, so there's a decent bit of PvP and even PvE over there.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I recently went on a hunting trip in africa

And while i was there i shot and killed a lion, i decided to take it back to england with me so i could have it preserved but it was damaged in transit and only the rear end could be taxidermied, the rest had to be diaposed of,

It was a cat ass trophy

Why is Pokemon quite realistic?

Because in the games, Bug-types are effective against Dark-types. Just like malaria in Africa.

An American, A Frenchman, And an African excavate historical relics 300 years from now

The three men are assigned to find anything historic, and report what they found after their excavation.

The American starts digging up, and in 7 days, he finds an iPhone.

"Our country must have invented the first smartphones." He concludes.

The Frenchman starts digging up, a...

Took my GF and her friends on a tour on Africa. They hated every country we visited, except for one.

Turns out girls only like Chad.

I had trouble getting drunk off the coast of East Africa

Turns out Zanzibar is sans a bar.

What do you call it when clouds form in Africa?

Wakandensation

People who can’t accept the fact that they are in Africa’s biggest river

are in de nile

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman..........

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I always feel bad for the kids in africa when I waste water..

And when I leave the oven on, I feel bad for the jews.

what do you call a 9 year old african boy crying on his knees

Midlife crisis

I've worked with starving children in Africa, and let me tell you...

They are the slowest workers I've ever seen.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An American couple visits Africa...

While there, they see everything they’ve always to see and are having a great time seeing the animals and the sights and meeting new people.

One evening, they are invited to a traditional native dance ceremony. They are enjoying themselves and the culture of this 2,000 year old tribe, but ca...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three explores in Africa are captured by a local tribe...

They're taken to the tribal chief, who tells them that they have trespassed on sacred tribal lands and says, "For your punishment, you must choose death or bongo!"

Well, the first explorer thinks to himself "I don't know what bongo is, but it can't be worse than death". So he says "I choose b...