UPJOKE
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A British spy goes undercover in America and tries to infiltrate the political ranks.

To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam.


Examiner: When did the USA gain independence?
Spy: July 4, 1776


\- Good. How many continents are there?
\- Easy peasy, seven.
\- Damn, you're good. Which continent is Turkey in?
\- Technically, Turkey...

What is the definition of politics?

Poly meaning many.

And ticks meaning blood sucking parasites.

What do you call a person who's an expert in American culture and politics?

A European Redditor.

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Defective Parrot

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Sheesh. I wonder what happened to this poor Parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy smokes!" the guy replies. "You ...

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The son said to his father " I don't understand politics dad ''

The father said " I'll give you an example. I bring money to the family, so I represent the upper class. Your mom uses the money on whatever necessary, she is the goverment. The maid who's doing the chores represents the working class. Your grandpa watches what's going on and assures everything is a...

Why is Ukrainian and Russian politics funny?

One has a comedian for a president, the other has a joke.

Politics in terms of cows

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes a high portion of the milk they produce to be redistributed.


COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and you have to get into a bread line for food instead.


FASCISM: You have two cows. The State will kill you ...

Crime does not pay…

as well as politics.

Student: I've been writing my exam for 2 hours but haven't answered a single question!!!

Politics Teacher: Well done, that's an A.

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What are Politics?

A young boy asks his father what politics are at the dinner table. His father responds with, "Well look at it this way son, I'm the president since I run the household. Your mother is the government since she pays the bills, the nanny is the working class since she works for me, and you and your lit...

What do US politics have in common with a dry prom?

No punchline.

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The young son asks the father what politics is

The young son asks the father what politics is. The father says, "Let's take our family, for example. I bring the money home, so we call me capitalism. Your mother manages the money, so we call her the government. We both look after your welfare almost exclusively, so you are the people. Our maid is...

A farmhand loses both his farm and his hand after getting into a fight with his dad over politics...

...would be a really bad but accurate way to describe the plot of Star Wars.

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A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism.

Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government.

We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people....

(Politics) Why would it be unsafe to board a plane with Ben Shapiro?

He'd destroy the Left Wing.

Politics...

I recently asked my neighbors little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President someday.

Both of her parents, Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'I'd give food ...

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How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers ...

When Putin began his first term in office…

When Putin began his first term in office in 1999, he asked the then outgoing president Boris Yeltsin if he had any advice for him since he, Putin had no prior experience in politics.


Yeltsin reportedly handed him two envelopes and said, if things go bad, open the first envelope. If thing...

Politics Is the Most Accurate Word In English

It's made up of two other parts.

1 - Poly - meaning many
2 - Ticks - blood sucking insects.

Now that Matthew McConaughey might be running for governor of Texas people are wondering what his politics are...

I think it’s obvious he’s a member of the Alt Right, Alt Right, Alt Right

US politics is a lot like square dancing.

Move to the right, take one step back, move to the left, take one step forward. Repeat.

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