In spite of all our political and religious disagreements here on Reddit, I’m happy about one thing.

Most people reading this are on the same page.

What’s Matthew McConaughey’s political affiliation?

He’s alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

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What do political opinions and a penis have in common?

It is rude to bust them out in public...

I was teaching political correctness to my niece and I said, "Ok let's say there's someone named Michael or Mike for short, and if Mike delivers mail, he's a Mail-man. Similarly if there's someone named Jennifer who's doing the same job what would you call her?"

"Jenny"

Political speeches

Once, a politician, 3 doctors and 3 engineers decided to climb Mt.Everest.

They arrive there and start climbing. Halfway into the climbing, the rope starts to break. The engineers, with their quick physics skills tell everyone "One of us has to jump or else we all die!". Nobody wanted to jum...

What's the greatest problem with political jokes?

They get elected.

If communism is a political party

Where is all the food?

Heard this one from a political science professor

A man just arrived in New York City. In the taxi heading to his destination, the taxi passed by the United Nations building. The man said to the driver “Wow, that’s the United Nations building.” The driver responded “Yes it is.” The man then asks, “How many people do you suppose work in there?” Afte...

Prince Philip turns up to a political event 20 minutes before everyone else

and the doorman says

“Blimey Phil, you’re early”

And Philip replies “Actually Bob, I think I’m more dukey”

A historian, a journalist, and a political scientist walk into a bar on January 23, 1993...

[Citation Needed]

Someone asked me what political party I liked.

I told them "as long as they have beer I like every party."

[Political] What's a pro-choicer's favorite metal band?

Dying Fetus

How does Beyonce describe her political beliefs?

"To the left, to the left."

I don’t like political humor

It’s too taxing.

I used to really enjoy political jokes...

Unfortunately, too many of them got elected.

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How many political pundits does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just bitch about how the darkness is the other party's fault.

In a prison, two inmates are comparing notes (old Soviet joke)

"What did they arrest you for?" asks the first. "Was it a political or common crime?"

"Of course it was political. I'm a plumber. They summoned me to the district Party committee to fix the sewage pipes. I looked and said, 'Hey, the entire system needs to be replaced.' So they gave me seven ...

Three men are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.

The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and ...

In America, prison reform is a political issue.

In Russia, political reform is a prison issue.

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A political joke that makes everyone laugh.

One day, North Korea decides that they wish to invade America by destroying it from the inside. They decided to scrap the idea when they realized that there is an entire political party already trying to do that.

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Political opinions are like penises

It's fine to be proud of it, just don't take it out in public or try to force it down someone else's throat.

What do you call a political convention in a Soviet state?

A communist party

I’m Venezuelan, if I had a dollar for every time people ask me about the political situation in my country

I would have enough money to get the hell out of here

I’m going to create a political institution based on eliminating vaccines. I’ll call it...

The Donner Party

Political Joke

My neighbors were just walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said she wanted to be President someday. Both of her parents, Democratic Party members, were standing there so I asked her, If you were President what wo...

Political joke good joke

A politician is visiting a local school.

In one class, he asks the students if anyone could give him an example of a ‘tragedy’. Mohan stands up and says, ‘If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.’

...

How many [not your political party] does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they are incapable of making real changes due to [thing you dislike about the opposing political party]

Political joke competition in the USSR

Grand prize: 15 years

A political assassin, a cabinet secretary, and a narcissist walk into a bar

A political assassin, a cabinet secretary, and a narcissist walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "The usual, Mrs. Clinton?"

People are so political these days...

...that you can't even say black paint. Instead, you have to say, "Daniel, please paint my fence".

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Both right and left political extremists are like testicles...

They're both nuts.

How do you make a good political joke?

You elect one.

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President Trump and Queen Elizabeth are having a political discussion...

President Trump and Queen Elizabeth are having a discussion about politics. Trump asks the Queen, "Could the United States become a Kingdom, like yours?"

And the Queen responds, "No, a Kingdom is ruled by a King. I'm sorry but you are no King."

This upsets Trump, but he thinks it over ...

A Physicist, an Engineer, and a Political Scientist are stranded on a deserted island

A Physicist, an Engineer, and a Political Scientist are stranded on a deserted island and are all very hungry. They are delighted to find a large can of beans that has been washed up on the beach. Having no way to open the can they try to find a way to the beans. The physicist states that if he puts...

if you're a student with political ambitions, think carefully about what you put on your yearbook page

I don't mean to keep it clean; I mean think carefully about how you can troll a bunch of Congressmen who will be trying to decode it in 2048.

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Political joke

A boy asks his father:

What is politics?

Father answers:

It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business . Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.

Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law...

The eclipse did two things our political leaders cannot.

It slowed global warming and gave us all something to look up to

An old political joke from Imperial Russia (reign of Nicholas II)

A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a moron!". He is taken away by the police on charges of lese majeste (insulting the monarch). He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!". The police chief replies: "Do not lie. If you said 'moron', you certainly meant the Czar!"

I wanted to make a political joke...

But I'm scared you guys might make it president.

Turkish Political Humor

Current Turkish gallows humour: A prisoner goes to the prison library, asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author." From Moshik_Temkin on Twitter

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r/Showerthoughts deleted this as being a political topic

"Sexual harassment is a touchy subject."

Why did the political theory class think their teacher was being unfair?

He gave the whole class the same Marx

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The president is at a political meet and greet in a restaurant, meeting with people and doing the usual schmoozing.

A young man comes up to him and shakes his hand. He says to the president, “it’s an honor to meet you sir, and I was hoping you could help me out. I’m meeting a girl for our first date in a few minutes, and if you stopped by our table, y’know, just to say hi as if we’re good friends, I’d look like...

I'm not a fan of political jokes.

I've seen too many get elected.

The new iPhones are at the climax of political correctness

It's not XL, it's XS Max.

What was the name of the political committee that worked to protect the rights of wine enthusiasts?

The Bacchus Caucus

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(My piss poor attempt at political humor): What do you call a bunch of British politicians about to have a meal before resigning from their positions?

A full English Brexit

A man jumps into a lion's cage to save a 5 year old boy by punching the lion in the nose

Soon, reporters are on the scene.

"Why don't you tell us a bit more about yourself"

"Well, I'm currently a stockbroker, but I got out of the Army only two years ago"

"What do you do for fun"

"I'm an avid fisherman, and I teach rifle safety classes for the NRA"

"Who...

My political ambition...

So my big plan is to one day create a huge political scandal.

The main piece of evidence will be encoded on a layered MIDI file that has to be discovered, decoded, and played at just the right frequency.

Then I can laugh maniacly while I sit and watch all the news stories about MIDIgat...

I'd make a political joke but it would just end up being elected president

Ba Dum Tss

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