Political Jokes

Three men who don’t know each other sits in a prison cell. Each explains why he was arrested.

The first man said: “I opposed covid testing.”

The second man said: “I supported covid testing.”

The third man said: “I administered the covid tests.”

They're calling it a culture war.

It’s propaganja.

Do honest politicians exist?
Of course! But they are the most expensive!

It's all relative.

and a lot of bull in between.

Worried that they were going too far, Sasha decides to play a practical joke on his pals and lighten the mood a bit. He slips downstairs to the lobby and asks the receptionist for an orange juice to be brought to room 304.

When he comes back to the room, he tells his friends “Guys, stop playi... read more

Both of their political careers ended with a stained dress.

but very few people know about his sister,

Onya, the inventor of the starter pistol.

They don't like voter competition.

A soviet couple was walking on the red square in Moscow one day, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

“I think it’s raining,” he said to his wife.

“No, that felt more like snow to me,” she replied.

“No, I’m sure it was just rain,” he said.

Well, as these things go, they... read more

They would not like to be called Caucasians but Ladyboys instead

I was right.

They get elected to office too often.

Because all the other letters are not-Z's.

The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and ... read more

That would set a very dangerous president.

I think they call it the pro-state exam?

2 people are running away from a Zombie when they back themselves into a corner.

The Zombie approaches, wanting to eat their brains.

1 of them suddenly has an idea. "Wait, don't eat us! We're \[insert unpopular group members, for example, a political affiliation you hate\]!"

The... read more

Please use the medically-recommended term “conjoined twins” instead.

You have to say

Leroy, please paint that wall

Who's there?


Putin.


Putin who?


Putin a doorbell I'm tired of knocking.

They are always taking debate.

He jumped out of the Overton window.

But they violently disagree about which one is which.

Marine Le Pen

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn't it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.

The prosecutor aga... read more

Ministers said to have considered three options during yesterday's cabinet meeting, thought to be Stilton, Wensleydale and Brie.

A group of friends stays in a hotel in Soviet Russia. One of them ended up in a separate room and is trying to fall asleep. His friends, however, are loudly talking and telling each other political jokes in the next room. So he decides to prank them a bit. Calls downstairs, orders some coffee to the... read more

To be fair, so did the rest of them

One of the men asks the other, "What are you in for?"

He responds, "I opposed Comrade Popov in 1937. What about you?"

The first man replies "I supported Comrade Popov in 1938. How about you?" he asks the third man

The third man says "I am Comrade Popov."

A: Pollentics

(Please don’t kill me, I made this when I was 11 after a 8 hour plane ride. I was delirious.)

Thanks, Obama.

An **elect**ile dysfunction.

The Pope was visiting the U.S. and had spent a busy day in D.C. addressing the U.S. Congress and meeting with top political and religious figures. Afterwards, his chauffeur took him for an evening tour of some of the city’s beautiful monuments. At the end of the evening the chauffeur asked the Pope ... read more

"Hey Siri"

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.

“What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?” asked the Rabbi.

“Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job.” replied the P... read more

I got quasi-federal with your mom last night.





It was both a coming together and holding each other federation.

Unfortunately, too many of them got elected.

Neighbors are ratting out neighbors. Employees report their coworkers to the KGB for innocuous jokes. Nighttime knocks on the door are commonplace. Regular citizens are labeled enemies of the people and taken away.

A group of university students are on a government-sponsored trip to a confere... read more