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The great detective Herlock Sholmes was hired to investigate the disappearance of one of the most important political figures in the nation.

He was quickly briefed on the current situation: at two in the morning, a young woman named Andrea had been captured by an unknown party. Now normally, a kidnapping wouldn’t be something to call in the great Herlock Sholmes for, but Andrea was a special case.

In the nation of Modgasia, the go...

I told my friend that I never knew that Rage Against the Machine was so political, and that it really ruined the music for me.

He looked at me deadpan and asked, "What machine did you think they were raging against, the dishwasher?

I know why super hot girls aren’t political...

...no matter what party wins, they still get invited to it.

Adam told his mother that he wanted to study political science.

Mrs.May: Why?

Adam: I want to be a politician when I grow up so I can help clean up the mess left behind by the others before me.

Mrs May: That's very exciting. Go upstairs now and start by cleaning your own room.

If Biden is elected, I'm leaving the country

If Trump is reelected, I'm leaving the country.

This is not a political post. I just want to travel.

I hate that even poker is getting political.

The big blind is always ante-establishment.

Is this the right place for politically incorrect jokes?

I have this great one about President Benjamin Franklin.

How do you define political correctness?

Carefully.

The political parties can't agree on what a second economic stimulus package should look like. Democrats want every American to receive a $1,200.00 check, while Republicans favor giving everybody 10 pounds of Parmesean cheese.

The GOP wants to "Make America Grate Again".

Political jokes are a terrible idea

because it is not a good thing to be talking about a fellow comedian.

I wrote a manifesto for my political party but I think it was too long so I wrote a shorter one...

It’s a minifesto

What's worse than using your family as political props?

According to my HOA, using them as Halloween props.

A politically-appointed medical research director had been busy pushing recruitment for round after round of hydroxychloroquine tests. After another poor result, a White House aide walked in. "Doctor, the President has demanded another HCQ test. Can you do it?"

The director sighs, rubs his temples, and sits back in his chair. "No. Quite frankly, I don't have the patients."

This one is a little bit political,I hope that doesn’t break any rules

Taiwan:I am China

China:No I am China

Taiwan:Ok then I am Taiwan

China:No you are China

Why can’t sunglasses have political opinions?

Because they’re so polarizing

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Why did Hitler win every political race?

Because he's the fascist

"stop being political"

Bruh, I said don't murder people

A political joke for both sides:

Joe Biden has forgotten more about governing than Trump ever learned.

What's the difference between comedy and political correctness?

One is making light of a dark situation.

The other is making dark of a light situation.

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How many Redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

Ghandi walked around barefoot most of the time, so he had rough feet. And he fasted a lot for spiritual and political reasons, so he’s not very physically strong. And because of the fasting, you could say that he did not have great breath, it didn’t smell great.

So to sum it all up, you could say that Ghandi was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I used to think political jokes would go for the left.

I was Right.

A contest for political jokes is held in a communist country.

Main prize: 20 years

What's the difference between taekwondo and political lobbying?

One has back kicks the other has kick backs.

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint

You have to say

Leroy, please paint that wall

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I learned today that taxi's are now a hot political topic.

I called for acab and all the conservatives got pissed.

I always have heavy security at my far-left political rallies...

It's dangerous to have unprotected sects.

Politically correct people are great comedians

Even when they say something's not funny people keep laughing

You know the problem with political jokes?

They get elected.

--Henry Cate.

My son is taking part in a political social experiment...

He has to wear a Bernie 2020 t-shirt for 2 weeks and see how people react. So far he's be spit on, punched and had a wine bottle thrown at him!



I am curious to see what happens when he goes outside.

I know this is a risk of being a political joke... But here is the joke:

Our Political system.

A guy walks into a hotel in soviet Russia

A guy walks into a hotel in soviet Russia and asks for a room. The receptionist tells him that they only place left is in a shared room with four beds, the bathroom is on corridor and the other 3 beds are already occupied. He accepts it, goes to his room and tries to fall asleep but the other 3 gues...

I'm not trying to sound political and all but

Hillbilly is short for Hilliam William

I am not very political but it seem to me that Trump's suggestion to drink Chlorox bleach...

is grounds for Imbleachment.

What do you call a cross between a political ethicist, a wizard and an alien ?

GhandAlf

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Land O Lakes

Have you guys seen the new Land O Lakes butter packaging? They removed the Native American girl from their labels to be more politically correct.

Now that’s the most American thing I’ve ever seen; remove the Indian and keep the land.

I hate how we have to be politically correct at the office. My boss said we shouldn't use the term "black" because it's not very professional.

So during coffee break, I asked him: *"How African-American do you like your coffee?"*

[just wrote this one] Political Massage

So I went to this masseur. Great reputation. People say he’s good with his hands.

We get down to business, and he starts asking me about politics.

He asks, “So are you for states or against states? You’ll get a different massage depending on your answer.”

I guess he’s probably a...

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Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgaria...

It is inappropriate to call people "monkeys"

The politically correct term is "orangutan".

Some may say the democratic national convention is where we nominate the president

I think it’s just a political party

Did you hear about Political Knieval?

He tried to jump over all 50 congressmen with a steamroller

What do you call a political figure thats been shot in the leg?

a Handi-capitalist.

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Political opinions are like assholes

Please don’t dive into yours during Thanksgiving dinner

I use geese to spread the right political messages

It's a proper gander

In spite of all our political and religious disagreements here on Reddit, I’m happy about one thing.

Most people reading this are on the same page.

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Bit of a political

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your ...

Why did the molecular biologist call the FBI to incarcerate the political extremist?

Because he hated free radicals.

Donald Trump was sitting in his office, when suddenly, his Chief Political Advisor burst through the door.

CPA: "Terrible news, sir. Three Brazilian men were killed outside of an embassy in Rio."

Trump: "That is terrible news. We must act immediately. But first, tell me again, how many is a Brazilian?"

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One of my posts got taken down for being“inappropriate/political” because I used the word liberal

How is it political to say “I’m liberal with the amount of kids I fit in my basement”

I used to really enjoy political jokes...

Unfortunately, too many of them got elected.

What’s Matthew McConaughey’s political affiliation?

He’s alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

Political Joke

Bernie Sanders: Hey Trump. Wanna hear a joke?

Trump: Sure

Bernie: A second presidential term

Trump: I don’t get it.

Bernie: Exactly.

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