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Do you know why chicken breasts are so meaty?

They are always working on their pecks.

A Boy Named Meaty

There once was a boy named Meaty. He was wrong about everything. In school his teacher would ask "Meaty, what's 1+1?" Meaty would answer, "11!" The teacher would respond, "Meaty, you're wrong." But Meaty didn't give up easily. He always raised his hand and gave his best answer, and his teachers woul...

What do you call an overweight kidney doctor who can also predict the weather?

A meaty-urologist

What's the difference between a pork chop and a small rock entering Earth's atmosphere from space?

One's meaty, but the other is a little meteor.

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Nine medical tests you can do by yourself.

Wander into the back garden and piss on your neighbour’s fence (again).

If it dries quickly, you have high sodium (salt) levels and pending heart problems.
If it attracts ants your sugar level is too high and you might be diabetic.
If your piss is dark and of limited quantity, you are d...

I cracked open two eggs for breakfast this morning. One had two yolks, the other had a little chunk of steak.

The double-yolker was great! The meaty-yolker was just okay.

Me and a friend were eating Shrek's baby for dinner. My friend thought the meal was great.

Myself, I thought it was a little meaty ogre.

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What's the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you put the meat.

Also.....


What's similar between dildo and sushi?

Both are meat substitutes.


K imma go, this has been too meaty.

My friend claims that he can make the best red paint you’ve ever seen out of raw beef

It looks great, but it’s only meaty ochre

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What do you call a fat weather man that studies penises?

A meaty-urologist

What do you call an overweight average ogre eating beef flavored yogurt?

A mediocre meaty ogre eating meaty yogurt.

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A Panda walk into a bar.

The Panda immediately attacks the fucking hostess mauling her brutally. Screaming patrons run out side doors jump through windows all in an attempt to avoid the rampaging bear who by now is taking savage swipe after savage swipe tearing meaty chunks out of people as they run.

Finally the bar ...

Stupid joke I made when I was young

What do you call a fat monster who’s okay-at-best at his job?

Meaty ogre

The other day, I decided to tie one on at the local bar.

No sooner than I sit down, when a big guy walks up to the bar, slapping it with his big, meaty paw, yells, "Hey Jackass! Get me another round of beers!"

Aghast, I watched the poor bartender slouch over to the tap, and pulled three perfect pints, which he deftly delivered without spilling a dr...

Why did the astronomer use two hams to row his boat?

He liked meaty oars.

What do you call not bad, not good brown beef?

Meaty-ochre

What the food critic say after eating Shrek?

"He was just meaty ogre"

What's the difference between a weatherman and an overweight doctor that handles the urinary tract?

One's a meteorologist and the other's a meaty urologist.

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Golfing Gorilla

After a long week of work, Frank grabs his clubs and heads to the golf course for some needed R&R. After a few holes Frank catches up to a man and a gorilla standing on the par 5. Frank finds this odd, but strolls up and sets his ball up to tee off. The man with the gorilla looks at Frank and sa...

Why did the chubby kidney doctor go to the weather convention?

He heard they were looking for meaty urologists.

So I invented a new beef and vegetable recipe, but it wasn't so great...

It was meaty-okra.

2 Mexicans were walking through the desert...

It'd been more than a week since either of them had eaten anything, and their last bottle of water had just gone dry. They'd been walking for hours on end.

Suddenly on the horizon, one of the Mexican's spotted something. 'Look over there my friend, you see the green thing?'

His friend ...

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