How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?

Burger King forgot to wrap his Whopper.

The impossible Whopper isn't really anything new

Burger King never used real meat

Is the impossible whopper still vegan if....

The animal cooking it spits on it?

With the success of BK's Impossible Whopper, McDonald's decided they needed a non-meat option too.

So they brought back the McRib.

What does a McChicken, a whopper, a beefy 5-layer burrito, and an extra most bestest pizza have in common?

They've all seen me naked.

I used to make some real zingers a long time ago.

But then KFC fired me because I made a whopper.

What do you call a 300 pound woman with a yeast infection?

A Whopper with cheese.

Burger King joke

What does Burger King and my boxers have in common?

They are both the Home Of The Whopper.

Yes there's a burger down there.

That is all.

Did you hear Burger King is promoting a black Whopper?

McDonalds responded by introducing a 3/5ths pounder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Birth of Baby Ruth

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?"

Well, she immediate...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men shipwrecked on desert island

(Beer garden banter joke. Works best when you use yourself and people you know as the protagonists, just replace names and choose the butt of the joke)

3 men get shipwrecked on a desert island.
Their boat ruined they head in-land to find salvation, when out of the trees lunges a huge 7 fo...

Did you hear the one about the guy who took his fishing rod to Burger King?

He caught a Whopper.

(I'm hoping that this translates well to cultures outside of the UK - apologies if it doesn't)

A fisherman and his wife had two children: a boy and a girl.

They were deciding what to name the children, when the fisherman noticed that every time they stood on the balcony, the boy looked towards the ocean and the girl looked away from the ocean. So the boy was named Towards and the girl was named Away.

Years later, the fisherman decided to take To...

A cab driver picks up a nun.

She gets into the cab,but the driver can't stop staring at her.She asks him why is he staring.He replies,"I have a question for you but I don't want to offend you.She answers,"My son,you cannot offend me.When your as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have,you get a chance to see and hear ...

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Introducing a Friend Who Says Whatever He's Thinking

"I'd like you to meet a friend of mine."

"How do you do?"

"You want a Big Mac or Whopper that's been in my butt?"

"What the hell is wrong with your friend?"

"Oh, don't mind him. He just has ass burgers."

How do you call it when you help someone make a hamburger?

A co-whopperation.

What do you call a malted milk ball that fights crime?

Whopper texas ranger.

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Voodoo Dick

A nymphomaniac just couldn't get enough pleasure. Not from any man, nor any of the many toys she had collected over the years.


One day, while having coffee with a girlfriend, she told her friend about this problem. Her friend knew exactly what she needed, and gave her the name of a s...

Life hack

If you beat your kids at a burger king it legally changes from child abuse to a whopper jr.

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Voo-Doo Dick

A man about to go on an extended business trip decided to buy his wife a couple of toys as a surprise. He came home the night before his flight out with a sex toy called Voo-Doo Dick.

"Voo-Doo Dick?" his wife asked. "What is that?"

"You'll see," he smirked. "Just have fun. It's special...

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True story.

You ever pass wind and it does not smell like you would expect? I an driving to work one day and fart and to my surprise it smelled exactly like a whopper with cheese. At first I was a little amused but then the cravings hit. I skipped breakfast and all morning long I can only think about lunch and ...

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A shetland pony walks into a Burger King...

He walks up to the counter and whispers "I'll take one whopper please." The cashier says "sure, buy why are you whispering?" The pony looks up at him and says "sorry, I'm just a little hoarse"

I'm giving my order at Burger King.

I ask for a Triple Whopper with cheese, and extra mayo. The 20-ish girl in line behind me says, "Do you know what that will do to your body?"

I turned and replied, "Nothing, compared to what my body will do to it."

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