Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.

Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.

Juan comes to US/Mexico border on a cycle...

...with 2 large bags over his shoulders.

The guard stops him and says, "What's in those bags?"

"Sand," answered Juan.

The guard says, "We'll see about that. Get off the bike."

The guard takes the bag and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but ...

You can't have Juan ...

Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health

From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answe...

3 animals are accused of a terrible crime. Sally the pig, Juan the eagle, and Carl the otter. A famous detective is brought in to investigate. He interrogates all 3 suspects and immediately decides it’s not the pig. But why?

It’s always Juan or the otter

A husband and wife give up their identical twin boys for adoption. They name one of them Juan and the other Amol

Years later the wife receives a letter from Juan reaching out to her, he included a picture. Elated she showed her husband who was excited to see his son doing so well in life.. weeks later they receive a letter from Amol telling them how well he is doing and also included a picture. Wife asks hubb...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happened to Juan?!

There once was a man named Juan(65M), who was seeing this woman named Maria(60F)... every Saturday, they had a ritual. They would meet up at the local park, sit on the bench, and Maria would hold his penis. They enjoyed about a year of this relationship, before one Saturday, Juan failed to show.
...

Name’s Juan

Names Juan. A few years ago I’d been living with my girlfriend in her apartment. I’ve been into video games since I was a kid and never took a real interest in learning practical things like how to hit a nail with a hammer. Girlfriend and I met in college and since graduating and moving in together ...

A woman has twin boys.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she...

What are the chances of winning the Mexican lottery?

Juan in a million.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Juan

My friend had twins last month, Amal and Juan

When I saw her at the store yesterday she only had a picture of one of the babies on her phone but she assured me, “If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

How many Rodriguezes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Juan Rodriguez

So this farmer named Juan wants to run for city council.

He notices his small town is going downhill and wants to make a difference. He asks his wife what his slogan should be and she says: "Well you don't beat me, the kids, or your cow, so use that."

So Juan runs for city council using the slogan: "I don't beat my wife, I don't beat my kids, I don...

There was a snail named Sam

He was friends with a worm named Juan.
One day, he told Juan,” You know, I’m gonna buy myself a nice sports car, with an S on the hood, for Sam!”

“No way, you can’t afford that!” Juan said.

That afternoon, Juan couldn’t believe his eyes! Driving down the boulevard was Sam in his swe...

I watched a singles match between two Mexican fighters the other day

It was Juan-on-Juan

My Friend Had Twins Over the Pandemic

I ran into her for the first time in ages and asked how the little ones were doing. She said Amal and Juan were just fine and were growing like weeds.

I asked to see a picture of them and she showed me a single baby on her phone.

“Aren’t there two of them?” I asked.

She replied:...

A mexican man was struck through the chest with a golf ball.

They called it a hole in Juan.

I’m so poor….

That when people see me walking down the street with only one flip-flop on they say to me “ yo Juan you lost a flip flop” and I say “ no I didn’t, I found one!”

Did you know Juan the horse has a brother named jamal?

Nothing really special, they're identical twins.

If you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal

Amal and Juan repost a joke on /r/jokes but no one ever upvotes Juan's posts

Because once you've seen Amal, you don't wanna see another Juan.

Juan, a prison warden, decided a group of sikhs (4 or 5 of them) should be released for good behaviour.

The occasion was mentioned in the newspaper: “Juan to free four, five sikhs”
I’ll be here all week.

My daughter ran off with some Hispanic guy...

She says he's her Juan and only...

Juan Ken always dreamed of becoming an obstetrician but when he finally made it he couldn't decide on what people should call him.

His two choices: OB Juan, Ken OB

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

“How was he killed” asked one detective. “With a golf gun.” Replied the second detective.

“A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?”

“I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan”

This new guy Juan has been hanging out with me and friends lately and honestly, I'm not a fan. He very controlling and manipulative.

And no Juan is going to tell me what to do.

Did you hear about the Spanish Star Wars spin-off?

It’s about the chosen Juan.

We've all heard the one about the twin boys - once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal. But have you heard the one about the twin girls -

Sharon is Karen.

My grandparents are from San Juan, Puerto Rico, but the rest of my family is European.

I guess that makes me Quarter-Rican.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was once a man named Juan...

Juan was the most charismatic person around, and because of this he made a brilliant teacher. All of his students loved him, and Juan had helped their grades go up by at least 10%. So of course, when the principal at the time resigned Juan's pupils pushed him to become the next principal and so he d...

I have 2 friends name Juan, to avoid confusion I call the first one Juan and I call the second one....

Another Juan!

Identical Twins

A teenage girl gave birth to identical twin boys. As she realized she was not ready to take care of young children, let alone 2 boys, she made the difficult decision to give them up for adoption.

The boys were adopted immediately. One of them was adopted by a lovely Egyptian family who decide...

I'm a regular Don Juan

The ladies Don Juan anything to do with me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pedro and Juan are stranded in the desert... (My favourite joke, [LONG])

After a day of walking, staggering, then crawling, they are thirsty, starving, and near death. They are about to give up when Juan exclaims,

“Pedro, look! At thee bottom of the dune... it’s an Oasis!”

Pedro struggles to bring his head up to look. “Juan... I think so my friend. I think...

Why were Juan and his twin sibling able to plagiarize off each other without being caught?

Nobody expects the Spanish Twin Submission.

I won a tutu in a charity draw at my daughter's ballet school. My Mexican friend entered as well.

Juan won one tutu too.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Juan was sent to hell.

In the hell lobby, Juan is greeted by a demon. The demon showed 3 doors that contains the type of punishment Juan will receive. Of course, Juan is given the ability to choose his punishment.

The demon opened the 1st door. Juan saw a man being punished by a whip. Juan said: "No! I do not want ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At a wedding party in Mexico, the inebriated groom stumbles into the bedroom and finds his bride getting fucked by the best man.he laughs uproariously and calls his his friends to the doorway to have a look. They say to him "Juan, you are drunk!"

"You think I'M drunk?" he yells. .
"Take a look at Manuel. . He's so drunk, he thinks he's ME!"

In order to stop accusations of racism, Trump decides to hire a Mexican immigrant

However, he doesn't feel confortable having him as an employee and calls him over in his office.

Juan: "Why you call me, jefe ?"

Trump: "You're fired!"


Juan: "Que ?! Why ?!!"


Trump: "Because....uh... Because you didn't finish high school!"

Juan: "Oh, no pro...

There was a guy named Juan

Juan was a normal person working at a restaurant serving people. One day someone asked for Juan to go for governor.

Juan had nothing going on in his life so he went for it. Juan ran for governor and got the job. But the same guy came in and asked for Juan to go be president.

So Juan ra...

Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same....

Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A politician, drug dealer, beekeeper, priest, doctor, lawyer, accountant, engineer, prostitute, programmer, nurse, chef, forensic analyst, biologist, truck driver and a writer walk into a bar

It is a big bar. Very big one. And empty, or at least it was empty until this large group of people entered it.

They all form a queue in front of the bar and order drinks one by one. The politician gets a Heineken, the drug dealer orders a Budweiser, the beekeeper gets a mead, the priest buy...

A young couple in poverty give birth to identical twins.

After much consideration they decide that the best thing for the baby boys would be to give them up for adoption so that they can have a better shot in life. One boy goes to a Spanish family who name him Juan, the second goes to an Indian family who name him Amal.

18 years pass when the birth...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny was in class one friday.....

The teacher said we'll play a game, whoever answers my questions correctly can leave early for the weekend. The first question was, who started a speech with "four score and seven years ago "? Several kids raised their hand and little Johnny was waving his hand frantically in the back of the class....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My name is Juan

Juan was the custodian at a local grade school. Everyone loved Juan. He was so sweet and compassionate with the kids and did a wonderful job. One day the principal came up to Juan and said:

“You know Juan, you care about this school so much, maybe you should run for the board of education”...

One day, a family from mexico moves up from Mexico city all the way to Jacksonville Florida

One day, a family from mexico moves up from Mexico city all the way to Jacksonville Florida. They settle in a small little house. The neighbors are a little skeptical, being their race and all, so they keep an eye out on their plot for a few days. To his suprise, he sees that the family is one of th...

So Juan, Pablo, and Jose are all attempting to cross the border legally...

A border guard stops when he sees only one of them has the correct papers, and says
'Whoa whoa whoa there can be only Juan!'

I'll see myself out

Why was Juan so depressed?

because the loneliest hombre is the hombre Juan.

When Juan told me he was scratching himself during a questionnaire, I was surprised.

After all, nobody expects the Spanish in-quiz itching.

A guy says, "Obstetricians named Juan can't seem to learn the whole alphabet."

His friend replies, "Why??"

"I dunno. For some reason they always get stuck at B."

"That's ridiculous. O.B. Juan can know 'B'"

I'll show my self out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I pissed off my buddy Juan today

And it was to the point to where he was going to kick my ass unless I did something embarrassing or gross. His suggestion was to drink milk straight from the cow he had out back. It was then I realized I had to choose between Juan or the udder.

"Oh man, Juan Valdez died this morning."

Ok, so it's not a 'joke' joke, but that's what you say. Maybe at work, at the bar with friends. Say it in a lull in the conversation. If you're really good, say it while scanning the paper or a news site.


Some people go, "oh!" And some people say, "wait, the Colombian coffee merchant?" an...

A teenage girl gives birth to twins and puts them up for adoption...

She never hears from them again except for the news that one baby was adopted by a Mexican couple, and the other was adopted by a couple from the Middle East.

Years later she hires a private investigator to track down her two adopted children, just so she can find out how their lives have bee...

I just found out that George Clooney's wife has a twin brother named Juan who looks exactly like her

Some people say that once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal

So there is this guy named Juan...

So there is this guy named Juan and Juan is a great guy. He doesn't drink he doesn't smoke, he doesn't beat his wife and kids. He doesn't kick his armadillo a cross the back yard.

One day, person number one comes up to him and says "Juan, you're a great guy. You don't drink. You don't smoke....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two drunk girls stop to pee in a cemetery

Two drunk girls stopped to pee in a cemetery after a long night out drinking and partying.

The first girl squats down by the car and starts to pee. She then realizes she doesn't have anything to wipe with, so she takes her panties off and wipes herself, and throws them away.

The secon...

Did you hear about the new Marvel hero? He’s a Mexican guy that can clone himself...

I think he’s called Juan Division.

What you call a house with a Mexican and American ghost?

A Juan-Ted house

I can't stand it when my Mexican friend is late

I wait for no Juan.

What is Juan's favorite book to read?

Tequila Mockingbird

The Mayor of San Juan was panicking

A reporter asked her what was wrong...

"Not only do I have to deal with the horrible conditions in my city after Maria, but now we have to prepare for another visit from a big ugly bag of wind."

"You mean there's another hurricane headed our way?"

"No, President Trump might fly ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Request: Does anyone know any good jokes about Juan Ponce de Leon?

Sorry, I know this isn't the usual fare here, but my son is looking for jokes about Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon to share with his Social Studies class. Nothing too NSFW - it's for ten-year-olds.

Thanks!

I keep hearing about this great new MCU show featuring what I can only assume are Hispanic superheroes...

but I can't seem to find this *Juan Division* on any streaming service.

whenever i needed help, my Mexican friend is always there for me.

He is Juan hell of a guy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the future Mexico became the wealthies, most transparent, most peaceful, most progressive, most developed and most prosperous nation in the Americas while the US became a 3th world shithole.

As such many Mexicans decided to move back to Mexico but among them there were also Americans trying to emmigrate. As such the border checks were supposed to make sure that those going in Mexico were Mexicans and not American immigrants.


A man aproaches the border and is asked: "What's yo...

I sent an email to my friend in Mexico...

He never got it, guess I sent it to the wrong Juan.

A woman has twins and gives up both for adoption.

A woman has twins and gives up both for adoption.


The first twin is adopted by an Egyptian family and is then named "Amal."


The second twin is adopted by a Spanish family and is then named "Juan."


After 25 years, Juan sends a picture of himself to his biological moth...

How many jokes does it take to make a Mexican smile?

Juan.

2 detectives were looking over Juan's murdered, lifeless body..

when one detective says " it looks like he was killed by a golf gun". The other detective said "what's a golf gun?" The other says " I dunno, but it sure made a hole in Juan."

My mexican friend commited a robbery and got away.

Now he's Juanted

How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans?

Juan by Juan.

Two ghosts were sharing stories of their deaths.

Juan asked first, "What killed you?"

"I was locked inside a fridge," Pedro said, "I was cold and trembling, then suffocated after an hour."

"That sucks man," replied Juan. "I got a heart attack and passed away."

"What happened?", asked Pedro.

"As I got...

Two filmmakers, Juan and Theotto, are talking over lunch…

…when Juan says to Theotto, "So, how's your work been lately?"

Theotto replies, "Eh, it's been pretty alright. I did get this rather--ahem--'interesting' screenplay recently."

Juan: "Yeah?"

Theotto: "Yeah. It was thick as a brick. It had this giant cast of characters, and there ...

A Mexican man is found unresponsive...

A Mexican man is found unresponsive on the roadway outside Tijuana.
Local authorities call for an ambulance and he is rushed to the nearest hospital.
Unfortunately, the doctors determine that he has consumed a lethal amount of drugs and there is nothing they can do to save him. He dies within ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.