After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father to start their family.

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jacobs kissed his wife and said 'I'm off to work, Lydia. The guy should be here soon.'

Wouldn't you know it, a door-to-door baby photographer came by half an hour later, hoping to make a sale. Mrs. Jacobs answered the door. 'Good morning, ma'am. ...

I tried to get a Jacobs ladder penile piercing...

Best I could get was a Jacobs Step stool.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The 5th floor of the construction site

A man named Alex, is on the 5th floor of a construction site, and he really needed a Hammer but he didn't want to have to climb down to the ground to go an grab one. So Alex called out to his mate Jacob on the ground floor.


"HEY JACOB" Alex yelled, "CAN YOU RUN ME UP A HAMMER, MATE?"
<...

I worked in one of those creepy ice cream vans over Memorial Day weekend, and I must say, they really do work. I raked in the Benjamins.

Also got a couple Jacobs and Timothys as well.

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