UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boom twang

A joke my dad told me when I was a kid.

It's a bit long.


Terry the truck driver was on his usual route when he spotted a nun on the side of the highway in need of a lift, well he flicked on the Jacobs brake and started dropping gears. He pulled up beside her and said "jump on in s...

After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father to start their family.

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jacobs kissed his wife and said 'I'm off to work, Lydia. The guy should be here soon.'

Wouldn't you know it, a door-to-door baby photographer came by half an hour later, hoping to make a sale. Mrs. Jacobs answered the door. 'Good morning, ma'am. ...

I tried to get a Jacobs ladder penile piercing...

Best I could get was a Jacobs Step stool.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Hospital

A sweet old lady telephoned the hospital.

She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I can, what's the name and room number?"

The old laday in her weak voice said, "Doreen Jacobs, Room 604."

The ope...

I worked in one of those creepy ice cream vans over Memorial Day weekend, and I must say, they really do work. I raked in the Benjamins.

Also got a couple Jacobs and Timothys as well.

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