Aaron Jokes

Longest hang time by a player who doesn't punt

Its 5 if you count the Achilles ( I'm so sorry jets fans )

Obviously he’s just into four play

Because he’s a meth-head actor.

Killing people.

The Ham-Burr-Grrr.

I'm not even sorry.

If he's not careful, Tom Brady might try to hold him

He’s also 0-3 for his vaccination shots

Because he doesn't want to Take a Shot on another team.

What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.

"I felt like I was being rushed."

Is suspended indefinitely.

To watch the playoffs

I feel like the media really left us hanging.

She found out he was a swinger.

His name was Tim.

"After review, the receiver did not get two feet down."

I am not throwing away my shot

The tight end.

And now I hear he's well-hung, too?

He must have thought it ended in a hung jury.

...hang in there, it'll die quicker than you think.

He's not a tight end anymore ;)

hang in there

Doesn’t that make you Europaaron?

(I know it’s stupid)

Aaron Hernandez knew when to hang it up.

It's called methead acting

But since going to prison he's become a wide receiver.

Suspended.

He wanted to leave us hanging.

Experts are saying that he'll probably be hanging around and available in the late rounds.

David had died. His lawyer is standing before the family, and reads out David's Last Will and Testament.
"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and one million dollars.
To my son Barry, I leave my Lexus, and the new Jaguar.
To my daughter Shriley I leave my... read more

Aaron Rodgers won’t get a shot at either.

He said, "No thanks I'll just hang in my cell"

But I think he was just a guy at the end of his rope.

She is wrapped up in her towel and as she walks past her husband who is going into the shower they hear a knock at the door.

"You go get that" her husband says and hops into the shower.

Sighing the woman went to the door still wrapped in her towel. She opens the door expecting the mai... read more

She said "I'll be home in 10-15 minutes max"

...... My name is Aaron.

but it received tons of backslash from the community.

--
Source: Aaron Peterson, Twitter.

January 2021: U.S. Capitol building attacked, Hank Aaron dead, Larry King dead

We walked through the door and I handed him our card:

"Barney. Talking dog."

The agent chuckled, leaned back in his chair, and said, "Alright, show me what you got."

"Hey Barn, how was work this week?"

"Rough."

"What goes on top of a house?"

"Roof."

"... read more

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, De... read more

Aaron: "That which thou canst not undo."

Chiron: "Thou hast undone our mother."

Aaron: "Villain, I have done thy mother."

 

Shakespearean "Yo momma" diss:

Act IV, Scene II of Titus Andronicus, Aaron taunts his lover's sons

Haha Aaron go Brr

Boy: I'll bet you a dollar my dog can talk

Man: you're on

Boy: how does sandpaper feel?

Dog: Ruff!

Boy: what's on top of a house?

Dog: Roof!

Boy: who's the greatest ballplayer ever?

Dog: Ruth!

Man: come on! I ain't payin' for that, get out of h... read more

After tight end Aaron Hernandez request for white Bronco.

Aaron

**A Jewish guy goes into a confession box.** **"Father O’Malley," he says, "My name is Aaron Cohen. I’m seventy eight years old. Believe it or not, I’m currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire l... read more

You can’t say it without sounding at least a little drunk.” - Aaron Jaffe

Aaron Hernandez (Neck)

Out Indefinitely

So Fred asked his dog, “What’s on top of a house?”

“Roof,” the dog barked.

Bob wasn’t convinced. So Fred asked the dog how sandpaper feels.

“Rough.”

He still wasn’t convinced.

“O.K., who was the greatest baseball player of all time?” Fred asked the dog.

“Rut... read more

My mother once gave me two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one.

As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, 'Aaron, what's the matter? You didn't like the other one?'