Right now everyone in Cleveland is taking social distancing very seriously. No one is even down by the lake.

It's Erie

Cleveland Indians are going to change their name....

....I suggest Cleveland Bharati.

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out.

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time." Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?" ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sports Teams should be named for what their city is famous for

For example: Dallas is known for cowboys, San Francisco was the place for the miners, 49ers, to bring their gold and claims, Islignton was famous as being home of the Artillery Regiment, thus "Arsenal," Milwauke HAD brewing.

Washington should change their name to "Senators," and Cleveland cou...

Cleveland Browns fan to Donald Trump: According to your definition of what winning looks like

We are World Champions several times over!

The Cleveland Browns are covering the playing field in cardboard for Sunday's game.

Because they always play better on paper.

TIL: Among all US Presidents, Grover Cleveland had the shortest term.

He was the twenty second president.

The Cleveland Browns team visited an orphanage today.

"It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Jose, age 6.

What’s the difference between the Cleveland Browns and the alphabet?

The alphabet has a “W”.

What does a Cleveland Cavaliers fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?

He turns off the PlayStation 4.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Going to Cleveland

Night nurse at a mental hospital is doing rounds and sees one patient sitting up going
"vrrrrrooommm"
and she asks " Tom what are you doing?"
He replies "driving to Cleveland!"
She tells him to have a nice trip and continues on.
Later she is doing rounds again and Tom is looking ov...

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A Pittsburgh Man, Idaho Falls Man, and a Cleveland Man walk into a bar...

An Idaho Falls man, a Pittsburgh man, and a Cleveland man walk into a bar.

An atheist bartender asks the Idado Falls man what he's drinking.

"Water. The Idaho Falls man replies. "My God doesn't allow us to drink harmful substances."

The bartender replies, "God doesn't exist, b...

The FBI just thwarted a July 4th terrorist attack in Cleveland.

But they couldn't stop LeBron from dropping a bomb on the city last night.

Tornado warnings are active for Cleveland, Ohio.

Residents are invited to seek shelter in Cleveland Browns Stadium where there is no chance of a touchdown.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Cleveland Browns fan finds a magical lamp.

The fan rubs the lamp and a genie emerges.

Genie: "I am the all powerful genie and I will grant you one wish!"

Fan: "That's easy, I want to live forever!"

Genie: "That's an impossible wish that I cannot grant."

Fan: "Okay then, I want to live long enough to see the Cl...

What do the Cleveland Browns and a Meth addict have in common?

They will both suck for 4 quarters.

“Which of the following does not belong in this list: herpes, gonorrhea, or a condominium in Cleveland?”

“The condo, obviously.”

“Nope, gonorrhea. It’s the only one you can get rid of.”

This joke was told to me yesterday by a 70-something year old man sitting next to me on a flight from Vegas to Cleveland. It was the only thing he said all flight.

A man gets home, walks into his bedroom, and finds his best friend standing in the closet naked.The man yells, "What the hell are you doing here?" and his friend replies, "Everybody's gotta' be somewhere!"

I left three Cleveland Browns tickets on my windshield before yesterday's game.

I came back and there were nine.

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Jew, A Catholic, and an atheist are rowing in Lake Erie when their boat springs a huge leak.

The Jew looks skyward, and says “Oh, Adonai, if you save me, I promise I’ll sail to Israel and spend the rest of my days trying to reclaim the land you gave us.”

The Catholic looks skyward, and says, “Oh, Jesus, if you save me, I promise I’ll fly to the Vatican and spend the rest of my days ...

Why are the Pro Football Hall of Fame and the Cleveland Browns in the same state?

To keep all the busts in one place.

(NSFW) GSW blew a 3-1 lead. Cleveland Indians blew a 3-1 lead....

Can't believe La La Land blew a misread

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wish my wife were more like the Cleveland Browns.

She'd work out all week and suck dick every Sunday.

Why doesn't Columbus Ohio have a professional football team?

Because then Cincinnati and Cleveland would want one too.

Nervous wreck

Bob was sitting on the plane at Cleveland waiting to fly to Chicago, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale hands shaking in fear.


"What's the matter, afraid of flying?" Bob asked.


"No, it's not that. I've been transferred to Chicag...

Tell a sad story in 4 words

Lifetime Cleveland Browns fan

Local Boy Stuns Courtroom in Custody Case

In Cleveland, Ohio a fifteen-year old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child cus...

The MLB is renaming the “disabled list” to the “injured list”.

I’m surprised by how easily it was for the Cleveland Indians to embrace using politically correct terminology.

My uncle is with the FBI

They caught him in Cleveland

What is Thanos Favorite Football team?

The Cleveland browns.

So far the have:

1 Regulatory Win

1 Overtime Win

1 Tie

1 Overtime Loss

1 Regulatory Loss


Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

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Browns Anthrax Scare

Cleveland, OH Monday, September 3, 2018 – Anthrax Scare At FirstEnergy Stadium

Cleveland Browns football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.

Coach Hue Jackson immediately suspended practic...

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Two Pickets

Two drunk Steelers fans were left in Cleveland after a game with no ride home. The first drunk decides that they can just hop a Greyhound bus and be home in no time. He stumbles to the ticket counter and the most beautiful, busty woman he's seen all day was working. He politely asks "can I please ha...

J.R. Smith can't wait for the NBA Finals to end tonight...

He thinks Cleveland is up 3-1.

The Browns' New QB

The head coach of the Browns is looking for a new QB when he sees news footage of a man in Afghanistan.

This man is fighting the Taliban and in the space of a few seconds, the coach sees him burst through a wooden barricade, knock down 10 armed soldiers, run 100 yards in 10 seconds, pick up a...

The story of Tyrone

When he was in school none of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity and clumsiness. However, no one disliked him as much as his teacher who was always telling him, "You're driving me crazy, Tyrone!"

One day Tyrone's mother came to the school to check on her son, and his teacher t...

4th of July Alcohol puns: American Heroes edition.

So this all started with Abraham Drinkin.

Help us come up with more. It has to be a character from American History to celebrate today as well as some sort of alcohol theme.

Here's what we have so far (some are better than others) :

Abraham Drinkin

John Wilkes Booze
...

An ugly man is walking through a forest when he trips on something.

He bends down and pulls a lamp out of the dirt. He rubs the lamp and sure enough, out pops a genie.


"I will grant you one wish for freeing me from the lamp."


"Well, as you can see, I've had trouble meeting women. I'd really like to find a wife and settle down. For my wish, I...

This just in, Beverly Hills, 90210

Cleveland Browns, 3

>Credit to Colin Mochrie from *Whose Line Is It Anyway?*

What do you call a carpet cleaning company based out of Ohio?

Cleveland Steamers

A ridiculously rich man is buying his 6 year old nephew a birthday present

On his birthday, the boy gets a Porsche 911. For Christmas that year, the man bought his nephew a massive yacht. For his 7th birthday, the man bought his nephew a weeks holiday in Dubai. The boy's dad was getting worried about his son, as he wasn't getting gifts that a child his age would normally g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly couple from Ohio are planning their 40th anniversary...

The couple, who were rabid basketball fans, had used the last 39 years to have an annual foray into their shared passion for the NBA. They went to games when they could, had gone to the Basketball Hall of Fame (four times so far), but usually just celebrated by getting each other neat collector's i...

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