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Nba Jokes

What do the NBA and a box of crayons have in common?

The whites are useless.

Smartest president

An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes.

The 1st passenger said, 'I am LeBron James, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die.' So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.

The 2...

2 girls walk out of the locker room at the NBA finals tonight. . .

One looks at the other and says "I can't believe I just blew 15 Bucks in there"

J.R. Smith can't wait for the NBA Finals to end tonight...

He thinks Cleveland is up 3-1.

What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA

How much did it cost the Miami Heat to lose their spot in the 2021 NBA playoffs?

10-15 Bucks.

Rudy Gobert should win NBA’s defensive player of the year

He just single-handedly shut down the whole league.

Who is China's favorite NBA team?

[REDACTED]

What does Lebron James do after winning the NBA Championship?

He turns off his Xbox.

The NBA is like a box of crayons...

they don't use the white ones.

Don't let the Golden State Warriors blowing a 3 - 1 lead in the NBA finals..

..distract you from the fact that the British blew a 13 colony lead in 1776

Why is it so difficult to wake up certain NBA players in the morning?

They think they're already up.

Which NBA player has moves like a mouse?

S. Curry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Blizzard the NBA and eating pussy have in common?

One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit!

Wh did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited?

Because he was always putting on Airs.

Why does the NBA finish in June?

She likes it.

What's the difference between the NBA and a pint of Guinness?

Nothing. They're both mostly black, with a little bit of white at the top.

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I could’ve been in the NBA…

Unfortunately God added 8” in the wrong spot.


Sometimes it sucks having ass hair that long.

I would play in the nba but...

God gave me 10” in the wrong place.

Team LeBron beat team Durant in the NBA All Star game last night.

Immediately after the game Kevin Durant announced he is signing with Team LeBron.

How many NBA finals does Lebron plan on losing?

not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7

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I hate when black people mistakenly think I'm racist

Today, a black guy was holding hands with his white girlfriend in the airport and got upset because he caught me looking at him suspiciously. I wish I could explain to him that I was only trying to figure out if he was in the NBA or not.

NBA Finals

It's Game 7 on the NBA Finals, and an excited man makes his way to his courtside seat. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there.

"No,’ says the neighbour. "The seat is empty."

"That is insane," said...

Ever hear of that NBA player named Druff? Think his first name is Dan...

They say he’s Head & Shoulders above the competition!

Why might a French Archeologist be interested in how old an NBA star is?

They might be studying LeBron’s age.

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals ?

The Lakers .



(Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals. )

As much as I love Black History Month

Why can’t there a Black Future Month so I know who to bet on in NBA games?

A friend asked me to name all nba players

I politely refused and told him they already have names

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The story of Rolph Louie, the worst basketball player to ever make it to the NBA.

There was once a basketball player named Rolph Louie, who somehow made his way into the Chicago Bulls. This decision to pick up Rolph for the roster made no sense to anybody; it baffled the commentators, the fans and even the players on the team. Rolph could barely dribble a ball...

In 99% of...

What does a Cleveland Cavaliers fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?

He turns off the PlayStation 4.

What do the NBA and the presidential election have in common?

There's only two candidates, and nobody wants either of them to win!

Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA?

Supposedly he's a whistleblower.

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Three boys were sitting on a curb, admiring a parked Cadillac, Mercedes and BMW.[NSFW]

The first kid says “man, I’m going to keep practicing my three point shot so I can go to the NBA, and buy a Cadillac like that one.” Second kid says “I’m going to go to college, get a good job, and buy a Mercedes.” The last kid says “I wish I had a nice pussy.” The first two kids exclaim “WTF you wa...

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An inspector goes in to an asylum...

He needs to make sure that all of the patients' rooms are up to code, following a new set of regulations.

When he enters the first room, the patient is shooting an imaginary basketball.

The inspector asks, "What are you doing?"

"When I get out of here, I'm going to be in the N...

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I'm a day late, but here's some Canadian jokes I came up with

1.) What do you call a Canadian military group?

- *The Eh Team*

2.) Welcome to Canada: Native land of the world's two sexiest Ryan's and the world's two most hated Justin's.

3.) Canadians are great at introducing themselves to strangers since they're so used to breaking the ice....

What does the NFL, NBA, and the Catholic Church have in common?

They all have a cult following

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First day working at the nuthouse.

A guy starts his first day at his new job in the local mental institution. The boss tells him his first day all he has to do is check on 4 patients, and write down how they are doing. He walks to the first patient's room and opens the door. The patient is pretending to play football. He then asks th...

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The young woman who submitted the tech support message presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself.

The query:
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications and intimacy, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 unin...

The sea level is going to rise 7 feet by 2100....

...I think he could play center in the NBA.

I mean, NHL teams have father-son road trips all the time

I don't think they're as common in the NBA though...

A man traveling through Tibet sees a monk light a fire with only the heat from his hands

He walks over to the Monk and says “how did you do that?” The monk replies “with enough training you can do things that appear impossible, what is the one thing you most want to achieve in life?” The man replies “I’d love to be able to jump as high as a house so I can compete in the NBA” the monk re...

What do you call a gust of wind that blows a black guy off of a boat?

The NBA draft

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Working in a mental institution

There was a nurse in a mental institution. As he was doing his rounds, he saw a patient dribbling and imaginary basketball and then shooting it. The nurse said "What are you doing?" The man replied, "I get out in 2 months and I'm going to the NBA." The nurse laughed and moved on

The next room...

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Mental Institution

So this guy delivers packages to this mental institution but has never gone in. He was curious one day and decided to go in and he met with the main supervisor and he took him around. So they were walking down the halls and they saw a door that was open. Inside was a person who was playing imaginary...

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I almost got arrested on my way to a Pistons game

I recently moved to Michigan because of my new job. It was a step up from my previous dead-end one and of course, more pay meant more work which is why I try to enjoy the little free time that I have.

Being a huge NBA fan, I decided to catch a Pistons game at the Little Caesar's Arena. Howev...

[OC] Micheal Jordan's origin story.

Micheal Jordan loved basketball growing up. He was good at it too. Every day at school, he'd be playing basketball and everyone wanted him on thier team.

The only catch was that, he could only play B-Ball at school. There were no courts near his house. So... Micheal's father, whom I will hen...

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An elderly couple from Ohio are planning their 40th anniversary...

The couple, who were rabid basketball fans, had used the last 39 years to have an annual foray into their shared passion for the NBA. They went to games when they could, had gone to the Basketball Hall of Fame (four times so far), but usually just celebrated by getting each other neat collector's i...

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My Old Teammate Ron.

So when I was in high school we had a standout basketball player (Ron) who was destined to be in the NBA in his life. As a sophomore, he was 6'7" 230, super athletic and was a star in any sport he played, but he loved basketball the most. One night he was out celebrating after a win and his buddy wa...

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