Andre Jokes

DJ Khaled says he'll produce

Dr Dre says he'll handle all the performers

Andre 3000 says I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write

...as he finishes setting up his tent, a park ranger rolls up to warn him about bear activity nearby. Specifically, an unusually intelligent and persistent bear that has a taste for 90's musicians. Andre thanks the ranger for his concern, and assures him that he'll take all the necessary precautions... read more

The Giant is seated in a bulkhead seat for extra space. It’s still a tight fit for this behemoth of a man. He starts to take apart the armrest between his seat and the one next to him in hopes of creating a bit more space before takeoff. A flight attendant approached him asking if she could get h... read more

Though his rival, Fahrenheit, was convinced he was 103.

Eminem said, "I'll perform."
Dr. Dre said, "I'll produce."
And Andre 3000 said, "I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write!"

In the first apartment was a boxer named Sean. In the second apartment was a soccer player named Andres. In the third was a blind man named Ian, and in the 4th apartment was a beautiful woman named Elizabeth. One day, Elizabeth decided to take a shower. She got in the shower then heard the doorbell ... read more

My daughter is having her pituitary gland removed. She has Gigantism like Andre The Giant.


Update!
She has been out of surgery for less then 10 hours and is doing great. (for someone that brain surgery for breakfast) Most of the pituitary gland was removed. The doctors are great and t... read more

I know I'm not the only one who does this.

Some of these jokes ought to have their own subreddits.

A group of trapped miners is finally freed after 188 days trapped underground. The media is all over the story, and the miners are immediately put in front of bright lights, cameras and... read more

Isaac Newton: "I'll drop in."

Socrates: "I'll think about it."

Georg Ohm: "I'm resisting the idea."

Robert Boyle: "I'm under too much pressure."

Charles Darwin: "I'll wait to see what evolves."

Pierre and Marie Curie: "We're radiating enthusiasm."

Alessandro... read more

Andre 3000: AlrightAlrightAlrightAlrightAlrightAlrightAlrightAlright!

As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ma'am, could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"
Trudeau: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Justin Trudeau, t... read more

*Issac Newton's mother--* "But did you wash the apple before eating it?"

*Archimedes's mother--* "Didn't you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka???”

*Thomas Edison's mother--* Of course I am proud that you invented the electric bulb. Now tu... read more