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Jamal Jokes

Recess and cookies

An elementary teacher asks her students what they did during recess.

Teacher: Johnny what did you do doing recess?

Johnny: I played in the sandbox.

Teacher: Okay, if you can write the word "sand" on the board, you get a cookie.

Johnny writes "sand" and gets his cookie....

A teacher asks her students what they want to be when they grow up.

Richard: I want to be a doctor!
Tommy: I want to be a firefighter!
Elizabeth: I want to be a mother!

The teacher then asks Jamal what he wants to do later.

Jamal: Help people.

Teacher: What kind of help?

Jamal: I want to help Elizabeth become a mother.

What do Jeff Bezos and Jamal Khashoggi have in common?

They were both hacked by Saudis.

Mother: "How was school today, Jamal?"

Jamal: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother: "Oh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Jamal: "What school?"

People are so sensitive now-a-days.

People are so sensitive now-a-days. You can’t even say “black paint.” Instead you gotta say,” Jamal, will you please paint the fence?”

Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same....

Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I said to my neighbour Jamal...

I said to my neighbour Jamal, "You're like marmite, you know Jamal."

He replied, "What? You love me or hate me?"

I replied, "No, you're black and you fucking smell."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A black woman has five kids all named Jamal, how does she tell them apart?

By their last names.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't the black kid play Pokémon?

He was afraid they were trying to catch Jamal.

I hate how politically correct the world is today

Instead of saying "Black paint" I now have to say "Jamal please paint"

At work today...

... the new guy asked where the color printer was.

I said, "It's 2022, use any printer you want, Jamal."

A black 6th grader goes to the swimming pool with his class

When he returned home, he asked his Mum:

"Hey mum, everybody was staring at my wee-wee in the communal shower. They said it's so big. Is it because I'm black?

"No Jamal, it's because you're 18"

Did you know Juan the horse has a brother named jamal?

Nothing really special, they're identical twins.

If you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal

We've all heard the one about the twin boys - once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal. But have you heard the one about the twin girls -

Sharon is Karen.

Twins

A lady had 2 twin boys and her and her husband decided to put them up for adoption.
The woman made it clear to the people adopting that she wanted a picture every year on their birthday.
Well one kid got adopted by a Hispanic family and they named him Juan.
The other was adopted by a black...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[slight racism] So a Hercules plane is failing while carrying a small squad...

A Hercules plane has a motor go kapputt while in flight. The soldiers inside start throwing equipment off the plane to keep it lighter and help it fly better until it can land, but after they toss almost everything, the general says:

* General: We need to throw someone out of the plane!
...

Nowadays I can't even say "Black Coat" anymore because it isn't PC...

No, now I really need to say "Jamal give me my coat please."

I hate all the political correctness in recent years.

I can't even say "black paint" anymore, I have to say "hey Jamal, would you please go paint that fence over there?"

Police officers have been playing Pokemon Go a lot longer than the rest y'all have...

'Gotta catch Jamal'

A woman has identical twins and gives them up for adoption

One of the twin boys is adopted by a family in Spain and is named Juan. The other boy is adopted by a family in Egypt, who name him Jamal.

Years later, her son Juan connects with her and sends him a picture of himself with his family.

Feeling moved and happy that Juan is doing well, ...

A woman was forced to give up her twins at birth

One of the boys goes to a family in Mexico and is named Juan. The other boy goes to a family in Africa, and is named Jamal.

Years later after the boys are grown her and her husband end up getting in contact with them. The couple is ecstatic! After a few letters have been exchanged the woman ...

Have you ever seen a Spanish Muslim?

Once you see juan, you see jamal.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's President's Day and Mrs. Rosewood was giving her students a bonus quiz...

Whoever could identify the president who said the famous quote would not have any homework that night.

"Alright, class. Who said "A house divided against itself cannot stand."?"
Lil' Johnny knew the answer, but wasn't the first to have his hand up. That was Jamal Jefferson.

"Was it...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman had twin boys

Unfortunately, she was unable to keep them, so she put them up for adoption. She was able to find loving homes for both of them overseas, but it was many years since she had seen them.

Then, just before their 21st birthday she got two letters, one from Egypt, the other from Spain. Each son ha...

What does Pokemon and a prison break have in common?

You gotta catch Jamal.

What do you call a Spanish king in Africa?

Juan man to rule Jamal.

The twins

There were two twin brothers called Juan and Jamal who had grown up and left their family to find their luck far away in two different parts of the country.

After a while, missing his sons, their father went to a trip to see them. When back home, his wife, who had stayed home, asked him about...

The problem with Saudi embassies

Is once you've lost one citizen you've lost Jamal.

A husband and wife give birth to twins...

...but realized that they simply don't have the money to support a family. They put the twins up for adoption without so much as giving them names, after deciding it was for the best. Soon, one twin is adopted by a Mexican family, and his new family names him Juan. Shortly after, the other twin i...

What did the policeman say when the Arabic man escaped from jail?

GOTTA CATCH JAMAL

It's politically incorrect to say 'black paint' these days...

You must say, "Jamal, would you mind painting the fence please?"

Mexicans and blacks are a lot alike.

If you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal.

I got called racist for saying 'pitch black'

The umpire disqualified me and told me I struck out and that the better thing to say would be 'Jamal, I'm ready for your fastball'.

ISIS math problem

Ahmed has 5 bags. If he gives 2 to Mohamed and 1 to Jamal. Then calculate the radius of the blast.

Sheikh on the top of a building

A Sheikh was walking on the terrace of a building, when he heard the door behind him open. A sad voice followed,

"Sheikh Ahmed, I am sorry for breaking this to you. Your only daughter ran away with the son of a grocery store owner. I hear she was pregnant. Your wife had a heart attack and is ...

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