Why did the otter cross the river?

To get to the otter side

Where do otters come from?

Otter Space.

Why did the otter want to work at NASA?

So he could go to Otter Space.

I used to have 2 pets, but one sadly drowned

One couldn't swim, the otter could.

What do otters and Tupperware have in common?

They both enjoy tight seals.

Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health.

From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week. His wife answered the door.

'Sure,' his wife said. 'It will cost you $500.'

'That much?'

'...

What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?

At least the otter knows he's not a seal.

A husband and wife are driving home and run over a otter.

They get out and find its still breathing but freezing cold. The husband says "Put it between your legs to warm it up" Wife replies "But its all wet and it stinks!" Husband says "Well hold its nose!".

what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?

hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter

Have you ever tried beaver curry?

It’s just like a regular curry but a little otter!

What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?

An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.

Where do otters come from?

Otter space.

[credit goes to Anne Carson, or wherever she heard it]

Binghamton University's Athletic Director compared the mens basketball team to a zoo. The Binghamton Zoo responded with the following letter:

I am tired of hearing that blight on Binghamton University, the men's basketball team, being referred to as a "zoo." The Binghamton Zoo at Ross Park has just received re-accreditation by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the industry's governing authority. We achieved this status by being in th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Was out at the bar today and saw a woman pull a phone right out of her crotch

I've come across plenty of camel toes and a few moose knuckles, but I've never seen an otter box.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[GOD INVENTING THE WEASEL] You know what we need?

An otter you can't fucking trust.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken walks into a bar..

..and orders five flagons of mead. After the fourth alcoholic beverage, the bartender asks him..

  

"Hey buddy why the long fac..oh wait not a horse lol."

  

The chicken gulps down his fifth drink and laments.

  

"You see, that ott...

I'm going to combine my hobbies of taxidermy and bomb making

And make you an otter you can't defuse.

Beaver curry

A Canadian is showing his English friend around his hometown.

Canadian: "Have you ever tried beaver curry?"

Englishman: "Beaver curry,!?"

Canadian: " Yeah, it's like normal curry, but just a bit otter."

Did you hear that some aquatic mammals escaped from the zoo?

It was otter chaos!

I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.

I otter know better.

What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?

I think we should sea otter people.

What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?

A little otter

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.