Where do otters come from?

Otter Space.

Why did the otter want to work at NASA?

So he could go to Otter Space.

Why did the otter cross the river?

To get to the otter side

What do you call a blind otter?

I don't know, but it's definitely not a See Otter!

What do otters and Tupperware have in common?

They both enjoy tight seals.

A marauding group if small angry marine mammals trashed my house last night.

They left it an otter shambles i tell ya.

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escaped from the zoo?

It was otter chaos

Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health

From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answered the door.

"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."

"That much?"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Tale of Kevin Bopper

Back in high school there was this kid named Kevin Bopper. He was... strange, to say the least. He was that quiet kid with long, greasy, dandruff-ridden hair, a face full of acne, and wore a leather jacket- you know the type. The thing that made him stand out, however, was his weird fixation on traf...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The woodland critters decide to open a public restroom...

They all participate as best they can to build it, and Owl, the mayor of the woods gives it to the public. The next day as Owl is taking a stroll, he notices that one of the windows is smashed.

He calls an urgent meeting where all the animals gather together.

\- I am sorry for this bot...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I entered a gameshow to win a million dollars...

The gameshow required guessing the unknown using your five senses.

In round one, I stuck my hand into a covered box and guess what was inside by feel. Without hesitation I knew it was seaweed and tinfoil. I would know that feeling anywhere.

In round two, we were paired and had to guess...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife are driving home and run over a otter.

They get out and find its still breathing but freezing cold. The husband says "Put it between your legs to warm it up" Wife replies "But its all wet and it stinks!" Husband says "Well hold its nose!".

What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?

At least the otter knows he's not a seal.

Why do Otters swim on their backs?

To keep their nuts dry.

What does a shaved otter look like?

Odder...

Sorry

Why did the chicken go to the zoo?

To get to the otter slide.

What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?

An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken walks into a bar..

..and orders five flagons of mead. After the fourth alcoholic beverage, the bartender asks him..

  

"Hey buddy why the long fac..oh wait not a horse lol."

  

The chicken gulps down his fifth drink and laments.

  

"You see, that ott...

Where do otters come from?

Otter space.

[credit goes to Anne Carson, or wherever she heard it]

There was once an old trapper drinking in a tavern.

He didn't have much money, so he loudly made a bet to every one in the room,"Blind fold me and bring me any pelt! I'll tell you what animal it was and how you killed it! If I'm right, you buy me a drink. If I'm wrong, drinks on me!"

The first taker stepped up to the bar. "Alright, old man. ...

Just finished eating a beaver curry...

It's like a normal curry, but otter.

I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making

by making you an otter you can't defuse.

what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?

hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter

My girlfriend convinced me that certain aquatic mammals don't exist right before she broke up with me.

She left me in otter disbelief.

Binghamton University's Athletic Director compared the mens basketball team to a zoo. The Binghamton Zoo responded with the following letter:

I am tired of hearing that blight on Binghamton University, the men's basketball team, being referred to as a "zoo." The Binghamton Zoo at Ross Park has just received re-accreditation by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the industry's governing authority. We achieved this status by being in th...

Beaver curry

A Canadian is showing his English friend around his hometown.

Canadian: "Have you ever tried beaver curry?"

Englishman: "Beaver curry,!?"

Canadian: " Yeah, it's like normal curry, but just a bit otter."

I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.

I otter know better.

What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?

I think we should sea otter people.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[GOD INVENTING THE WEASEL] You know what we need?

An otter you can't fucking trust.

What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?

A little otter

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