What does Caitlyn Jenner have in common with Wolverine?

The both are X Men

Why shouldn’t you make a agreement with wolverine ?

Because of his retractable Clause

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So i heard Wolverine got a sex change

Now he's an ex-man

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Wolverine can chop off his dick and it will grow back.

He’ll never be an ex man.

Wolverine, Nightcrawler and Cyclops heard of the birth of Jesus and decided to pay him a visit

They had travelled many miles following a star, until they came to Bethlehem.

Finally, the found the stable wherein the tiny baby lay in a manger, watched over by his mother Mary.

They knelt before the babe and asked of his mother, "May we worship the holy child?"

Sadly she s...

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A barman charges people based on how tragic their backstory is. One day, Batman, Wolverine and Rorshach come in, expecting to be given free drinks.

“Alright,” says the barman to Batman, “what’s your backstory?”

“I saw my parents murdered right in front of me as a child.”

The barman nods, and charges Batman ten bucks, as a lot of people have a tragic backstory where their parents died.

Next up, Wolverine.

“When I was ...

What did Wolverine use to cut down trees before he got the adamantium treatment?

He used a huge axe, man.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Wolverine has only masturbated once

It was shortly before he became an Xman

If the actor who plays Wolverine were to reveal that he's been a con-artist his entire life....

Would that mean this has all been a huge act, man?

Do you know who plays Wolverine?

Yeah, that huge jacked man

My dad is just like Wolverine.

Dead.

Why was Wolverine (from the X-Men) fired from the law firm?

Because he forgot to read the contract claws.

What are Wolverine's favorite type of cookie?

SNIKT-doodles

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

"Sir" from a distance.

After much consideration, I do not believe Wolverine in the X-Men movies is real.

It's obviously just a huge act, man.

If the last Wolverine movie is a cross country chase...

then why isn't it called Logan's Run?

For Halloween, my neighbor put up a Wolverine themed scarecrow. And it's terrifying my daughter.

I guess she is claw-straw-phobic...

What did storm say when she saw wolverine chopping wood?

That's a huge axe man!

Wolverine and a lawyer walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "No claws, please!"

They both leave.

Cold War Dog Fight

During the Cold War, the Soviets and the Americans decided that nuclear brinkmanship was not sustainable. So they agreed to settle the question of world hegemony once and for all with a good old-fashioned dog fight - the parties had one year to prepare.

The top scientist of both nations worke...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I wish there was more diversity of superheroes. We have a few female and a few black superheroes. You know what I want to see?

An FTM trans hero kicking ass with Wolverine, Cyclops, and Storm. His name can be XX-Man.

My mate wears the same jacket when he's impersonating either Matt Damon or Hugh Jackman.

Maybe he's Bourne with it, maybe it's Wolverine.

Corny Deadpool joke

Wolverine has DirecTV. Deadpool has Cable.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

X-men get captured.

Wolverine, Cyclops, and Magneto are captured by Mr. Sinister. As they regain consciousness they realize they are naked with their testicles in a vibranium clamp hanging from a vibranium chain that is slowly being lifted to the ceiling. As they realize they are about to be painfully suspended only by...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Russian Winter

One cold winter night in Russia, a small sparrow was wandering along the middle of a snowy road looking for warmth. After many hours of struggling through the frozen wasteland, it finally collapsed in the middle of the rode and began to freeze to death.

Just as the bird was about to lose cons...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Topical Jokes (5/21)

Here we are, once again. It's time for some laugh-words.

First up, we've got some big movie news. "Transformers 4" is now updating its cast. To appeal more to the US box office, the evil Decepticons will be played by menacing vending machines that won't let go of your Doritos.

More mov...