Why shouldn’t you make a agreement with wolverine ?

Because of his retractable Clause

In every X-Men movie Wolverine looks at his claws like he forgot he had them

and then he gets real mad

What’s the difference between Wolverine and Paul Bunyan?

One’s a Hugh Jackman, the other is a huge ax man.

Wolverine cannot become a muslim.

It grows back!

What do Caitlyn Jenner and Wolverine have in common?

They are both X-Men.

My dad is just like Wolverine.

Dead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wolverine can chop off his dick and it will grow back.

He’ll never be an ex man.

What did Wolverine use to cut down trees before he got the adamantium treatment?

He used a huge axe, man.

If the actor who plays Wolverine were to reveal that he's been a con-artist his entire life....

Would that mean this has all been a huge act, man?

After much consideration, I do not believe Wolverine in the X-Men movies is real.

It's obviously just a huge act, man.

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Wolverine has only masturbated once

It was shortly before he became an Xman

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

"Sir" from a distance.

What are Wolverine's favorite type of cookie?

SNIKT-doodles

For Halloween, my neighbor put up a Wolverine themed scarecrow. And it's terrifying my daughter.

I guess she is claw-straw-phobic...

If the last Wolverine movie is a cross country chase...

then why isn't it called Logan's Run?

Heard a coffee barista say "I just wolverine'd this cappuccino."

Everyone looked at him confused. He continued, "I ruined its origin story," before pouring it out to make another.

Wolverine and a lawyer walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "No claws, please!"

They both leave.

My mate wears the same jacket when he's impersonating either Matt Damon or Hugh Jackman.

Maybe he's Bourne with it, maybe it's Wolverine.

Who is your favorite X-Man?

I like Wolverine but Bruce Jenner is a close second.

Cold War Dog Fight

During the Cold War, the Soviets and the Americans decided that nuclear brinkmanship was not sustainable. So they agreed to settle the question of world hegemony once and for all with a good old-fashioned dog fight - the parties had one year to prepare.

The top scientist of both nations worke...

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The Russian Winter

One cold winter night in Russia, a small sparrow was wandering along the middle of a snowy road looking for warmth. After many hours of struggling through the frozen wasteland, it finally collapsed in the middle of the rode and began to freeze to death.

Just as the bird was about to lose cons...

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Topical Jokes (5/21)

Here we are, once again. It's time for some laugh-words.

First up, we've got some big movie news. "Transformers 4" is now updating its cast. To appeal more to the US box office, the evil Decepticons will be played by menacing vending machines that won't let go of your Doritos.

More mov...

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X-men get captured.

Wolverine, Cyclops, and Magneto are captured by Mr. Sinister. As they regain consciousness they realize they are naked with their testicles in a vibranium clamp hanging from a vibranium chain that is slowly being lifted to the ceiling. As they realize they are about to be painfully suspended only by...

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