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Reindeer Jokes

When four of Santa's elves got sick...

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Christmas pressure.

Then, Mrs. Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When went to harness the reindeer, he fou...

Did you know there is a 10th reindeer?

It's true. His name is Jerry and he is in charge of managing deliveries that the elves had, which includes food orders. He started his own business.

Its called "Deer Dash"!

A child asked Santa Claus

“How did your reindeer get their names?”



Santa replied, “I named them after memories, like pranced frolicking through the snow!”


“What about Donner?” the child asked.


A shadow settled on Santa’s face, and after a moment he began: “The year was 1847, and snowfal...

A British man goes to visit his granny, who recently moved to Greece

When he takes his coat off he notices she doesn't have any. "We need to go buy you a coat granny."

"You don't need a coat in Greece, dear."

He takes his shoes off and notices she also doesn't have any wellies. "We need to get you some wellies granny."

"You don't need wellies in ...

Q: What is a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?

A: Comet.

One 23rd of December, Santa's doorbell rings.

He opens the door and there is a little man there in a blue uniform with a peaked cap. "Evening!" he says, "...or whatever time it is up here. Hopkins, Civil Aviation Authority. It's time for your checkride".

Santa begs his pardon politely and Hopkins digs through the satchel he is carrying a...

What did the female reindeers do when their boyfriends were off of Santa delivering presents on Christmas Eve?

They went to the nearest pub and blew a few bucks.

What happens when you cross Santa Claus with five shots of tequila?

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.

A guy dressed up in an elf suit walks into a bar

"Could you name all of Santa's reindeer?" he asks the bartender. "Oh my God!" the bartender said with tears in his eyes. "It would be an honor."

A farmer got an idea for how to make money off his farm in the off-season. He had a huge property all bounded by a big, white fence end to end. Along that fence was an old country road where few people drove. He decided he would set up a Christmas light display.

It took him some time to gather all the lights necessary, but eventually through the sweat of his farmhands and an absurd number of extension cords, he was finished. When sunset came, the first car to come down that road got an amazing sight.


The entire fence was covered in lights! Fenc...

Santa Claus had started feeling like he was losing some of his mojo at one point...

... so in recent years, he had taken to periodically stopping during his annual Christmas Eve present run to take in words of wisdom from spiritual leaders from various backgrounds all over the world, hoping that someone could re-ignite that spark for him that made Christmas special.

Eventual...

How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh and reindeer?

Nothing! It’s on the house!

One Christmas Eve, many decades ago, Santa Claus announced to his elves, "I'm supposed to begin my annual flight in one hour. But there are still some toys that need to be made and put into my sack. I need all seven of my elite toymakers to finish the toys on time."

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Kringle," said the elf in charge of the workshop. "One of the elite toymakers is on vacation, and two are sick. I'm afraid we only have four elites tonight."

"So be it," said Santa.

It took two hours for the elves to finish making the toys. By the time they were done...

How can you tell Rudolph the reindeer was male?

He was only liked when he was useful.

How may reindeer does Santa have?

2, Rudolph and Olive the other reindeer

One of Santa's reindeer served in the army with Tina Turner

Back then he was known as Private Dancer

What’s the difference between Santa Claus and voter fraud?

One is a childish fantasy about getting what you want. The other has flying reindeer.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year...

Male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rud...

Santa’s reindeer had an issue with their dinner reservation.

The restaurant simply refused to seat the Donner party.

Clarence the brown-nosed reindeer.

He was right behind Rudolf, he could fly just as fast as him, but could never stop as quick as Rudolf.

A lot of people don't know about Rudolph's wife Olive,

but she is mentioned in the song: "Olive, the other reindeer."

Queen Victoria died and went to heaven.

When she got there, she was informed that she would be reincarnated. However, she could choose which animal.

"One has always thought reindeers are majestic." She said.
So sure enough, a moment later she found herself in the form of a reindeer.

Grazing happily in the England's green ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight.

During the pilot's preflight check, he discovered that the aircraft's latrine holding tank was still full from the last flight. So a message was sent to the base, and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it.
The young man finally got to the air base and made his way to the air...

What do you call a deer that loves being out in the rain?

A reindeer

Which of Santa's reindeer is the most important this year?

Vaxen

What happens when Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer gets on the mic?

He sleighs.

Blinking lights, presents, reindeer, and snowmen everywhere…

I love Thanksgiving.

What’s the difference between Beer Nuts and Reindeer Nuts?

Beer nuts are about $2.50, Reindeer Nuts are under a buck.

Everyone knows about Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer..

But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.

He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high..he just couldn't stop as fast.

Why was rudolf the reindeer so angry?

Because his wife went to Las Vegas and blew 50 bucks.

Stop me if you heard this...

Cows, sheep, goats, and/or reindeer.

Santa is entangled

Eureka! I have it. Santa's wave function is entangled with the wave functions of all non-naughty kids and all presents. Observation on Christmas morning collapses the wave function, so presents appear instantaneously under the trees of all good kids. No violation of relativity in Santa's travel. ...

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were ...

Do you know which animal comes from the sky?

Reindeer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You've never heard of the 10th Reindeer?

The first eight are Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen.

The 9th is Rudolth the red nosed reindeer, and the 10th is the jerk called Olive.

Why do i call him a jerk? You know... Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names.

Where do you find reindeer ?

It depends where you left them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've started my own brand of Reindeer Jerky...

I call it "Little Blitz N' Pieces"

What do female reindeer do for fun?

Go into town and blow a couple hundred bucks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman walks into a pet shop looking for a bird. The employee of the pet shop walks up to her and asks, "What are you looking for?"

The woman explains she wants a bird who can sing. The employee explains "We have one, but he only sings Christmas songs". The womans says "well I'd love to see it!" The employee walks into the backroom and brings out a pretty, brown parrot. "His name is Chet and he only sings when you light a fire u...

Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to spend Christmas together?

Because they have herd immunity.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Asian men die in a car accident on Easter Sunday.

They find themselves at the pearly gates, where Peter is at his receptionist desk awaiting them.

“Now, here’s the deal,” Peter says to them. “You three were not believers, so you are not allowed in here.” The men glance at each other, beginning to grow pale. “However, since it’s Easter, I’m w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dad, is Santa real?

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the popul...

They’re taking “Baby It’s Cold Outside” off off of the radio for being offensive?

But I can’t help to think about all those poor children that lost their grandmothers in tragic reindeer accidents.

What's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?

Comet.

Why was Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer getting a divorce?

Because every time his wife went out, she'd end up blowing 50 bucks

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

night before christmas (covid edition)

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse,

Do you know why? Because none of us were

allowed out,

Looked out into the street and no Christmas decorations about,

Looked out of the window, what did I s...

How does Santa choose which female reindeer to breed with his prized stud?

By choosing the one that’s the best bang for the buck.

Even Santa can have a bad day.

There he was one Christmas Eve many years ago, he'd had a runner break on the sleigh and had elves working round the clock to fix it; the toy workshop had a hole in the roof and half the year's run of toys were ruined by rainwater; two of the reindeer had colic and he had to drag two elderly ones ou...

What did Santa say to his wife when she gave him a private dance?

Make it reindeer!

- Credit to my brother

Merry Christmas from the FAA

Santa decided to make sure that his equipment was working. He hitched up the reindeer and ran pre-flight tests on the sleigh. Everything was just fine. As he swung up into the seat, he sees a man wearing a trenchcoat and carrying a shotgun walking towards him.

The man smiles and says, "Hi! I'...

What is the purpose of reindeer?

It makes the grass grow, sweetie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's Christmas Eve and Santa is very angry...

...his reindeer cannot fly because they ended up drinking mulled wine and are now very drunk. His elves are refusing to produce any more presents because they are angry about their pay and an angel Santa sent off to get a Christmas tree hasn't returned yet. "How the hell am I going to get Christmas ...

My dad's lame holiday joke

During the holiday season, a man is aimlessly drifting around a shopping center, wondering what to get his wife for Christmas. Wandering into a pet store, he asks the shop assistant, "Hey, buddy, you got anything with a Christmas-type theme in here?"

"Well, there is Chet, the parrot," the...

If the answer to “what do you call a blind reindeer?” is ‘no idea’, what do you call a blind reindeer that can’t walk?

Still no idea.

Everyone knows how Bert the Brown Nose reindeer got his name, but nobody knows how Rudolph did

Rudolph the regular nose reindeer was on sabbatical and took a brief trip through Portland Maine.

While Rudolph and his life partner Gary were there, they spotted a fortune teller on the other side of the street. As the pair crossed the road, a truck carrying industrial red naval paint swerv...

Who is the loneliness Reindeer on their birthday?

I know you're thinking it's probably Rudolph, but, let's just say no one wants to go to Donner party.

What do all the Female Reindeer do when Santa takes the crew out to deliver presents? (NSFW)

They go into town and blow a few bucks. ;)

Happy holidays everyone! Wish you all good health & wealth in the New Year!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Proof that Santa doesn’t exists

There are about 2 billion children on earth. But Santa does not have to visit Muslims, Hindus, Jews or Buddhists, which reduces the number to 15% or 378 million. Thus, with a world average of 3.5 children per household, there are 108 million households to visit if we can assume that there are at le...

What do you call a reindeer on Halloween?

A cariboo.......

I'll see myself out

As the world’s population swelled over the past few decades, Santa’s sleigh got heavier and heavier, requiring more reindeer to pull it.

Santa hired two new reindeer as crew, Lee and Franklin.

As part of their new hire training both Lee and Franklin go through a lot of physical training, navigational training, as well as a list of things that is to be packed on the sleigh.

Franklin is going through the list of banned it...

Why is the world's funniest joke not in Rudolph the Reindeer's joke book?

Because the real joke is in Comet's!

I dont understand how one of the most widespread traditions in America is about flying reindeers from the north pole.

Its just not clausible.

The baby reindeer asked the mother reindeer if it would snow this Christmas.

The mother replied sorry it'll rain dear.

How did the angel get on top of the christmas tree?

So one year, Santa was having a bad time of it. The reindeer were threatening a strike, the elves had to recall 30% of their toys due to manufacturing defects, all in all, just a frustrating time.

So Santa stood up and made a very LOUD announcement.

"I am going to my study. I'm tak...

Why doesn't Santa use reindeer milk in his coffee?

He prefers non-deery creamer.

What's the name of the reindeer that's directly behind Rudolf? You know the one, he's just as fast as Rudolf but can't stop as fast.

Larry the Brown Nosed Reindeer

Do you recall the name of the other, 10th reindeer?

You have the original eight reindeer: Dasher, Prancer, etc. And of course, there is Rudoloph which makes nine.

The 10th reindeer is Olive. It says so right in the song:

"Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"!

How do reindeer fly?

They use their Missile-toes.

(courtesy of my ten year old this morning lol)

Santas reindeer get lost on a flight one night and don't return to the pole. After being missing for weeks, they are found, the only survivor being Donner. When asked how he survived, he replied:

"They don't call me Donner for nothin'"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:

**NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:**

Please be advised that anyone planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a full Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs. This assessment must also consider wheth...

Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer died today over Barcelona. He was struck by a flock of seagulls and a 747.

Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

Have you ever heard the story of how the angel got on top of the Christmas tree?

Once upon a time, three days before Christmas many years ago, Santa was sitting in his office. He was under a horrible amount of stress; the elves had just announced that they were forming a labour union, half the reindeer had hoof and mouth disease, and Mrs. Claus hadn't touched his candy cane in m...

How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents

Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the Reindeer drowned.

Bad Christmas cracker jokes.

Where do you find reindeer?
It depends on where you leave them!


What do reindeer have that no other animals have?
Baby reindeer!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
...

Ever wonder why angels are put on top of Christmas trees?

‘‘Twas the night before Christmas, to Santa’s dismay

Because the North Pole was in a bad way

The elves were on strike and not making toys

And the reindeer were out getting drunk with the boys

Santa sat in his sleigh and pondered his plight

When what came his way ...

Santa was hit by an Airbus 747 while flying over Barcelona last night, and none of the flight crew survived

The doctors have confirmed that the reindeer in Spain were hit mainly by the plane.

- Credit to Colin Monchrie from "Whose Line Is It Anyway"

Santa is stressed...

Many years ago on Christmas Eve, Santa Claus is preparing for his big day tomorrow but nothing is goin well. Half the reindeer are sick, the elves are behind on their work and Mrs Claus' mother-in-law just arrived for the week.

But then an angel appeared at Santa's door with a Christmas tree ...

T'was a wet and rainy Christmas eve...

...when santa landed on our roof.

The slippery condition were quite treacherous,

as a reindeer missed its hoof.

Santa and his reindeers came sliding down.

I would've laffed if it was a clown.

One by one, they got tangled in the lights,

and came crashing down...

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