What do you call a well-known elk?

Famoose

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An old woman was watching the news while waiting for her husband to return from the Elk's club

A breaking news story came on about a car driving the wrong away on the interstate.
Being worked for her husband's safety she called him.

"Bill I hope I haven't caught you too late," she said. "The news is reporting a car driving the wrong way down the interstate you use to come home. You ...

What part of the brain regulates elk-like behaviour?

The hypothalamoose.

Queen Victoria died and went to heaven.

When she got there, she was informed that she would be reincarnated. However, she could choose which animal.

"One has always thought reindeers are majestic." She said.
So sure enough, a moment later she found herself in the form of a reindeer.

Grazing happily in the England's green ...

I saw some leeches on a running elk.

They were hanging on for deer life.

A North American Elk walks into a pizzeria...

A North American Elk walks into a pizzeria and sits at an empty table while he waits for the waiter. The waiter hands him a menu and the Elk ponders for a bit. He's not really in the mood for pizza, so he narrows it down to pasta. The Elk is finally ready to order, so he calls for the waiter. The wa...

Why did the elk cry at the funeral?

He had lost a deer friend

I've been training as a sculptor for months but I'm not very good at it. Just the other day I made an Elk from limestone which I thought was good, but my art teacher Mr Watson couldn't work out what it was.

I said to him surely he could see it was sedimentary, my deer, Watson.

God created Canada.

On the 6th day God turned to Archangel Gabriel and said: "Today I am going to create a land called Canada, it will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains,beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-l...

A herd of elk charged an unsuspecting group of tourists

They don't take cash

Joke from an old man

Typical day at my gas station, I tell some jokes, give some wives tales, and, One night, I tell my usual fib to an old man,
'Did you know, We call dollars, Bucks, because yhere used to be a buck on the one dollar bill!?'
He then chuckles and replies,
'You ever heard of the elks lodge?'...

When you're writing a letter to Heaven about how shocked you are that there is a new elk deity

Dear God,

Dear God...

Deer God.

Three blondes are walking through the forest when they come across a set of tracks.

The first blonde says, "Hey, look at that, deer tracks!"

The second blonde chimes in and responds, "No, Becky, those are moose tracks!"

The third blonde steps in and says, "You two are both wrong, those are obviously elk tracks!"

The three blondes kept arguing about what animal ...

There were three Indian squaws

One slept on a deerskin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant, and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the...

3 blondes were walking on a path

They came across a set of tracks and were debating about what animal they were from.

Blonde 1: These are definitely deer tracks.

Blonde 2: They are not. These are clearly elk tracks.

Blonde 3: Both of you are blind. These are obviously moose tracks.

That’s when the train ...

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A New Yorker goes hunting in the Alps...

... he’s never hunted in his life, so he gets a local guide to show him.

The guide explains “Is very easy, up the mountain, Pierre will make the sound of an elk in heat, the elk will come out of his cave, you point the shotgun at it and shoot. Got it?”

“Yeah yeah, this’ll be easy” say...

Follow the tracks

3 guys went on a hunting trip.

The first guy went out hunting and came back later with a deer. "How did you get that?" the other two asked. The first guy answers "I followed the tracks, followed the tracks, followed the tracks, and boom... I got a deer."

The second guy went out hunting...

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A Native American boy and his cheif are sitting in a teepee together.

The boy asks the chief, "How did my mother get her name?"

The chief replies, "Well, that is a good question. Women give birth in this very teepee, and I name them what I see outside the teepee at the moment of birth. Your mother, RunningDeer, was named because when I looked outside, I saw a d...

2 men go hunting in the bush

As they were stalking an elk, a snake bit the first man. The second man freaked out and shot the snake. He then proceeded to call 000.

"000, what's your emergency?"

"Help! A snake bit my friend and I think he's dead!"

"Ok, we need to be sure if he's dead. Can you do that for me?...

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Dave is a well known, respected hunter, known to be the best in the state.

One night, he is sitting in a bar with some friends, and an out of state hunter stops in the bar.
He overhears Dave’s friends talking about how he’s the best and says, “there is no way he is the best hunter in the state!”

So Dave bets him that he can not look and guess what an animal was ...

Have you heard of this new zombie like disease, stricking moses and deers? Hollywood is already on it.

Nightmare on elk street.

Trump and Pence go hunting.

As they're walking through the woods, they see an elk foraging on leaves.

"Hey look, an elk" says Pence.

"Fake moose" says Trump.

What do the lady reindeer do while the men are out with Santa on Christmas Eve?

They all head down to the Elks club and blow a few bucks.

Hunting overload!

Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting.


They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bulls.

The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.

They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk, But the p...

A hunter walks into a bar

A big game hunter walked into a bar and was bragging to everyone about his hunting skills. He claimed that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them the calibre.

The other patrons thought he ...

"How do we get our names?"

There was once a young Native American boy talking to his father.

"How do we get our names, dad?" The boy asked.

"Well, son," the boy's father replied, "after a baby is born we go out of the teepee and name the child after the first thing we see. This is why your great grandfather was...

Three Squaws Were Each Preparing For The Birth Of Their First Child.

Three squaws were each preparing for the birth of their first child. The
first squaw placed a large bear hide by a river, the second squaw placed
an elk hide by a tree by a river, and the third squaw placed a
hippopotamus hide by a path, near the river and the tree so that the
three form...

A hunter walks into a bar

A hunter walks into a bar and says, "I'm the best hunter there ever was. You hand me a hide, I'll tell you what animal it came from, what killed it, and I'll do it blindfolded."
The bartender blindfolds him and hands him an animal skin. He handles it for a few minutes, and then he says, "Bear."...

A conversation with my 7 year old brother.

"Look at all of these beautiful horse"

"Horses"

"Horse is already plural, isn't it?"

"You're thinking of elk"

"Holy mooses, you're right"

A wolf is walking through the forest...

A wolf is walking through the forest and sees a beaver.

"Come here" he says.

The Beaver comes over and the wolf, looking at a list in his hand, says "Ah here you are. Mr. Beaver. You'll come to the big field tomorrow at 8am and I'll eat you for breakfast. Any questions?"

"No" sa...

A king outlawed hunting in his kingdom

Pretty soon, deer and elk populations were out of control, eating the commoners' crops and becoming a general nuisance. The people revolted and overthrew the king, thus making it the first time in history a reign had been called on account of game.

Pulled this Dad joke...

on my Dad as we were elk hunting this year. We were driving down a dirt road and kept seeing a bunch of sage grouse (also known as a sage chicken) running on the road.

Dad, why did the grouse cross the road??

To get to the other sage.

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Native American Baby Naming

A wise man and his grandson are sitting at the fire...

"So, we look outside of the tent and name the child after the first thing we see" said the old chief.
"First came your Sister, Little Deer"
" Then my brother, Running Elk?"
" Yes- Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"

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