This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An old woman was watching the news while waiting for her husband to return from the Elk's club

A breaking news story came on about a car driving the wrong away on the interstate.
Being worked for her husband's safety she called him.

"Bill I hope I haven't caught you too late," she said. "The news is reporting a car driving the wrong way down the interstate you use to come home. You ...

What do you call a well-known elk?

Famoose

Three blondes are walking through the forest when they come across a set of tracks.

The first blonde says, "Hey, look at that, deer tracks!"

The second blonde chimes in and responds, "No, Becky, those are moose tracks!"

The third blonde steps in and says, "You two are both wrong, those are obviously elk tracks!"

The three blondes kept arguing about what animal ...

I've been training as a sculptor for months but I'm not very good at it. Just the other day I made an Elk from limestone which I thought was good, but my art teacher Mr Watson couldn't work out what it was.

I said to him surely he could see it was sedimentary, my deer, Watson.

When you're writing a letter to Heaven about how shocked you are that there is a new elk deity

Dear God,

Dear God...

Deer God.

I saw some leeches on a running elk.

They were hanging on for deer life.

A herd of elk charged an unsuspecting group of tourists

They don't take cash

What did the annoyed husband tell his wife after she saw elk falling from the sky?

*Sigh* That's not elk... That's just reindeer.

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A Native American boy and his cheif are sitting in a teepee together.

The boy asks the chief, "How did my mother get her name?"

The chief replies, "Well, that is a good question. Women give birth in this very teepee, and I name them what I see outside the teepee at the moment of birth. Your mother, RunningDeer, was named because when I looked outside, I saw a d...

Why did the elk cry at the funeral?

He had lost a deer friend

God created Canada.

On the 6th day God turned to Archangel Gabriel and said: "Today I am going to create a land called Canada, it will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains,beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-l...

A hunter walks into a bar

A hunter walks into a bar and says, "I'm the best hunter there ever was. You hand me a hide, I'll tell you what animal it came from, what killed it, and I'll do it blindfolded."
The bartender blindfolds him and hands him an animal skin. He handles it for a few minutes, and then he says, "Bear."...

Have you heard of this new zombie like disease, stricking moses and deers? Hollywood is already on it.

Nightmare on elk street.

Joke from an old man

Typical day at my gas station, I tell some jokes, give some wives tales, and, One night, I tell my usual fib to an old man,
'Did you know, We call dollars, Bucks, because yhere used to be a buck on the one dollar bill!?'
He then chuckles and replies,
'You ever heard of the elks lodge?'...

Three Squaws Were Each Preparing For The Birth Of Their First Child.

Three squaws were each preparing for the birth of their first child. The
first squaw placed a large bear hide by a river, the second squaw placed
an elk hide by a tree by a river, and the third squaw placed a
hippopotamus hide by a path, near the river and the tree so that the
three form...

A hunter walks into a bar

A big game hunter walked into a bar and was bragging to everyone about his hunting skills. He claimed that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them the calibre.

The other patrons thought he ...

What do the lady reindeer do while the men are out with Santa on Christmas Eve?

They all head down to the Elks club and blow a few bucks.

"How do we get our names?"

There was once a young Native American boy talking to his father.

"How do we get our names, dad?" The boy asked.

"Well, son," the boy's father replied, "after a baby is born we go out of the teepee and name the child after the first thing we see. This is why your great grandfather was...

A king outlawed hunting in his kingdom

Pretty soon, deer and elk populations were out of control, eating the commoners' crops and becoming a general nuisance. The people revolted and overthrew the king, thus making it the first time in history a reign had been called on account of game.

Earl and Larry are out hunting one day...

They are tracking an elk and after a while, Larry, looks up and says, "Earl, do you know where we are?"


"No idea," said Earl, " but I know what to do. If we shoot into the air three times, someone will hear it and come save us. "

With nothing to lose, they shot into the air three t...

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Magical meadow (Russian translated)

An Elk walking in the forest hears strange tiny noises "oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah", he follows the voice and sees a small Hedgehog running in cercles on the meadow.
He stops the hedgehog and asks him :

- Hey my friend what are you doing ?

- I just discovered this meadow and I think it...

A wolf is walking through the forest...

A wolf is walking through the forest and sees a beaver.

"Come here" he says.

The Beaver comes over and the wolf, looking at a list in his hand, says "Ah here you are. Mr. Beaver. You'll come to the big field tomorrow at 8am and I'll eat you for breakfast. Any questions?"

"No" sa...

A conversation with my 7 year old brother.

"Look at all of these beautiful horse"

"Horses"

"Horse is already plural, isn't it?"

"You're thinking of elk"

"Holy mooses, you're right"

In The Woods.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were walking through the woods one night when they happened upon some tracks.

"I think they're moose tracks!", said the blonde.

"No, they're deer tracks!", said the brunette.

"Nuh uh, these are elk tracks!", chirped the redhead.

......

Hunting overload!

Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting.


They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bulls.

The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.

They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk, But the p...

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Native American Baby Naming

A wise man and his grandson are sitting at the fire...

"So, we look outside of the tent and name the child after the first thing we see" said the old chief.
"First came your Sister, Little Deer"
" Then my brother, Running Elk?"
" Yes- Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"