I saw a mountain lion the other day.

Almost made me puma pants.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion…

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

What do you get when you cross a bear with a mountain lion?

Killed. You get killed.

What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?

Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!

What kind of summer camp would a toilet, a mountain lion, and a cantaloupe all go to?

A John Cougar Melon Camp

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After a long winter, a mountain lion, a wolf, and a fox...

After a long winter, a mountain lion, a wolf, and a fox get together and each tells how they spent the winter.

The mountain lion says, "I spent my winter in a pigpen, and each day I ate a pig. The owner counted the pigs, saw that some were missing, and set a trap from which I barely escaped."...

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Roy Rogers and the mountain lion

Back in the 1950s, cowboy star Roy Rogers bought a brand new pair of expensive cowboy boots. Cowboy boots are notoriously stiff when they're new so Roy spent all morning oiling and working the leather to try to soften them up a bit. He then took them out onto the back porch to dry in the sunlight wh...

There once lived a puma (mountain lion) in LA.

This particular cat never really identified herself as a puma, she really felt a closer affinity towards tigers. Being in LA, she convinced herself she could chase her dreams and set off on a journey to find herself and realise her identity.

After swimming across the seven seas, she finally g...

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3 guys are sitting around a campfire

One guy says to the other 2, “I’m the toughest guy here. One time I was out in the woods and I got attacked by a mountain lion! I wrestled with it and was able to stab it to death.”
One of the other guys says, “You think that’s tough? I was out in the woods and got attacked by a full size grizzly...

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there were two sheep herders at the bottom of a mountain watering their sheep

as they sat there tending the sheep they heard "YEEHAA YOO YEEHAA!" coming down from the mountain they looked up there to see a big cloud of dust coming down the mountain in front of it there is a cowboy riding a big mountain lion whipping it with two rattle snakes when he gets to the sheep herders ...

A guy runs into a saloon and yells "everybody clear out, Big John's comin' to town!"

A couple minutes later a mountain of a man rides into town on an ox and he's dragging a mountain lion on a chain behind him. He gets down and punches the ox and slams the mountain lion and says "You guys stay here."

He walks into the saloon, ripping the doors off the hinges. Walks up to the b...

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Once upon a time, this guy named Fred decided that he was rough and tough enough to seek his fortune in the Wild West.

(This was in the days when the Wild West meant Texas and Arizona, with indians, outlaws,
tornados and droughts-not the current situation, where the Wild West means California and you have to brave hottubs, mellowspeak, fires and
earthquakes. That is, it was a simpler time.)

So, Fred fou...

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A legend of the Native Americans

While many people know of Sequoya, the Native American genius who developed the Cherokee alphabet, fewer have heard of another visionary – yet he made a discovery no less groundbreaking, owing nothing to the white man’s knowledge.

It fell out like this: In the early 1800s, a certain chief, ...

Big John

A man moves from New York City to the heart of Texas and applies for a job as a bartender.

The owner of the bar says to the man, "You know it's pretty rough around here, I'm not sure you could handle it, There's a stabbing about every night."

The man says he can handle himself, he's ...

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What happens when a fly drops 6 inches...

A fish is swimming in a river when it sees a fly above. The fish thinks to itself, "If that fly would only drop six inches I could jump up and have some lunch."

Well on the bank of the river is a bear. The bear sees the fish and the fly and thinks to itself "If that fly would only drop six in...

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There was a fly...(nsfw)

There is a fly on a blade of grass sitting over a stream. In the stream under the blade of grass is a fish.
The fish is looking at the fly thinking he could jump up and have a great snack.
He doesn’t know there is a mountain lion sitting on the bank looking at it.
The mountain lion is looki...

Since there have been a few math jokes lately...

Q1. What do you get if you cross a mountain lion with a mountain goat?

A1. ||mountain lion|| ||mountain goat|| sin θ


Q2. What do you get when you cross a mountain lion with a mountain climber?

A2. You can't - the mountain climber is a scalar.

Three blondes were hiking in the woods when they came upon some tracks...

The first blonde said "We'd better be careful, I think these are bear tracks!"

The second blonde says "No, I'm almost certain these are mountain lion tracks!"

The third blonde says "Your both wrong, these are wolf tracks!"

They were still arguing 20 minutes later when the train ...

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A man tells his wife "me and my buddy Bill are going hunting this weekend."

The wife asked him what they will go hunting for and the man informs her that they will go hunting for mountain lions.

The wife relies "well in that case, I'm going to the chicken farm for lunch."

The man says " well I have no problem with that, but what do you mean "in that case"? W...

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A German, a Russian, and a Texan are camping and share stories.

A German, a Russian, and a Texan are camping and share stories about how badass they are.


The German says, “I’ll go first. One time I was on a long hike across some mountains when I crossed paths with a mountain lion. It attacked me and I took it down with nothing but a pocket knife.”...

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