I want a gun that shoots wooden benches.

I'd walk into a church with no seating and be like: *pew pew pew. pew pew. pew pew pew*

What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I almost got arrested on my way to a Pistons game

I recently moved to Michigan because of my new job. It was a step up from my previous dead-end one and of course, more pay meant more work which is why I try to enjoy the little free time that I have.

Being a huge NBA fan, I decided to catch a Pistons game at the Little Caesar's Arena. Howev...

My father was the rector for a local church. He was responsible for making sure all the doors were locked, and for putting away the benches after services.

He really had to mind his keys and pews.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On the benches by the nursing home.

An elderly man and woman lived in the same nursing home. The man liked this woman very much. So one day, he asks if they could sit together outside on the benches.
They sat there every day for about 3 weeks.Finally, the old man builds up enough courage to ask the woman if she would hold his pen...

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